#92 Time to Topple the Toffs

TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️  15min in talks about child abuse

This week, a surprise visit from an old friend left me asking a much bigger question.

What is it about people who think money, status and name-dropping make them more important than everyone else? Watching one person's behaviour manage to irritate not just me but seemingly half of Sark became the perfect reminder that it's time to stop bowing to wealth and privilege simply because society tells us we should.

This isn't about resentment. It's about self-respect.

In this episode, I explore why it's time to lovingly—but firmly—topple the toffs. To stop confusing riches with wisdom, status with character, and influence with integrity. Real power comes from kindness, authenticity and treating every human being as an equal.

If you've ever felt intimidated by someone who believed they were above everyone else, this conversation is your reminder: no one is.

It's time to stand tall, speak truth with love, and remember that genuine greatness never needs to announce itself.

Books mentioned;

Witch: Unleashed. Untamed. Unapologetic by Lisa Lister

Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner (Llewellyn's Practical Magick) by Scott Cuningham 

Witches, Sluts, Feminists: Conjuring the Sex Positive by Kristen J. Sollee

The music and artwork is by @moxmoxmoxiemox

Nonsense in the Chaos is available on all podcast platforms or you can listen to it here… https://nonsenseinthechaos.buzzsprout.com 

I'd love to know what you think! If you want to get in touch with me about anything on the podcast then email nonsenseinthechaos@gmail.com or you can follow me on Instagram and Bluesky @kriyaarts or at the Nonsense in the Chaos Page on Facebook.

Please consider supporting me through patreon.com/JolieRose and like, follow, and review wherever you get your podcasts from. Share about Nonsense in the Chaos far and wide! The more people who hear about the podcast the better.

Thank you for all your support -x-

Transcript

0:54

Welcome to the Nonsense in the Chaos. I'm your host, Joli Rose So I recorded some audio clips of me walking around the island chatting because I thought I knew what I was gonna do the podcast about this week, and I also thought that I wasn't gonna be able to sit here in the studio to record because someone was staying. So I basically recorded a podcast, but then quite extraordinary things happened last night and changed what I wanted to talk about, although the other things all are included as well. But what happened last night was someone was meant to be staying at my house. It was a person who I knew from t- early 2000. Like, we're talking about 2000, the millennium, 2001. I was 21, 22 at the oldest. I think I was more like 20, 21. And this guy was a friend of my ex-boyfriend's group of mates. And I'd met my ex-boyfriend through Kenmore Hall, the Tudor reenactment, and he took me under his wing and brought me to London, and I moved to his house in Blackheath. And I lived in Blackheath and hung out in Greenwich with a group of lads. There was, like, this very large group of men. There was something in the water where all of the families there all just had sons for some reason. And this was the early 2000s when the class gap was insignificant. I went to university, therefore I was in the gang of middle class people, and these people that I had met and become friends with didn't seem like they were from a different league at all. And their parents had all been kind of hippie, arty types who had bought their houses in Greenwich back in the '80s, '90s when they were buying houses for, like, £60,000 and now they're worth, like, 4 million. And these people are architects and engineers mainly. They were mainly architects and engineers. A few of them were artists. Um, and they were the parents, but then all the children also then became architects and engineers. And I got on really well with them. I loved them. They were an amazing group of people. I was really good friends with all of them, and this guy was sort of part of that group. I knew him the least out of them all. He was more of a peripheral person. And he, out of nowhere on Monday, said, "Is it all right if I come and visit?" And I was like, "Yeah, sure." So he came over and before I even got to him, I saw people getting off the boat and they were like, "Oh, we met your mate." I was like, "Oh God, really? What?" They were like, "Oh, he's a character." And I was like, "Oh, good. I hope that's good. I hope he was just being larger than life and that's good." And, um, my friend was like, "Yeah, I got his whole life story." And I was just like, "Okay." So then he arrives and we go for a pint at the pub next to where the tractor drops you off, and within minutes I was like, "Oh God, this guy's being so irritating." All he was doing was talking about himself. He asked me like- 10 times how I ended up being on Sark and never once listened to the answer. He never got to find out how I lived on Sark. He just talked at me. He told me about how much money he has, how he's worth five million pounds. He's got this house in Tooting, he's got this other house in Normandy, he's got a Porsche. He kept name-dropping all these people. He just- E- all he was doing was just shove- like shoving names down my throat, and just shoving all this information down my throat, and I was just like, "I don't care." And also, "I now have to take you to the pub and you w-", and he straightaway said he wanted to stay two nights when he'd asked to stay one. And I was just, I was full of dread already. I was just like, "This is horrendous. You're a, a horrendous human being and I'm not... I do not want people to think you're my friend, and I... But, okay, maybe he'll calm down." Like, one, I mean, he was quite drunk. I was just like, "Maybe he'll calm down." So we turn up at the pub, and no, straightaway he's just doing exactly the same thing to everyone else. Like, my friend got introduced and he was like, "Oh, where are you from?" He said, "Polish." He goes, "Oh, my cleaner's Polish." What? Anyone blonde and pretty, he literally slimed on. He took photos of my friend and was sat there looking at photos of her. It was just disgusting. It was disgusting. He was revolting, and it came to a head when Ellie, my best mate who's moved over here, you know, she was a, from a traveler family, born in a van fucking cool as fuck, and is very proud of where she's from and her heritage, and he just started calling her a pikey. And absolutely fuming. Like, she was triggered. Everyone was really angry. I came outside and was just like, "What are you doing? What have you done?" And his way of apologizing was to go off and buy a bottle of Bollinger, but he came back and he didn't know why he was apologizing, and it was like... So he pulled out the glasses, and then Ellie just poured a glass over his head, which was an absolute Trump move. Like, that was so good. And then stormed off. I basically turned around to him and was like, "You're not staying at my house. You can go..." It was like 10 o'clock at night, and I just went, "You can go back to The Bel Air where I picked you up, that pub we were in first of all. They've got rooms there, but you're not staying at mine. She's my actual friend, and you've hurt her feelings, so you can piss off." And then someone who is involved with the pub barred him from the pub and chucked him out the pub 'cause he'd been annoying people all night and had been out of order all night. Uh, all the builders wanted to beat him up. Oh, God, he was awful. He was just so awful, and it, I just came away from it just "When's the revolution gonna start? Can we, can we start now?" 'Cause he, he just was so living in a different reality, and I can see that what he really needs was a hug and for someone to tell him, like- You're good enough, you know? You don't need to do all these things. You- y- I know there's a nice person in there. I know there is, and I have got on with him at points in time. I mean, they were very fleeting and a long time ago. But I know that he's, he's just desperate to be loved. I mean, his dad died when he was really young. He just wants some love, and he only gets it through, these outside means. But I just came away from it just like, I'm just done with this class gap. Because yeah I saw it open up in, like, kind of 2008. I just noticed my group of friends that were 'Cause they were my friends. I didn't really stay in touch with anyone from Essex. I left home and, like, moved to London, moved to Australia, lived in Berlin, lived in Brighton. I didn't go back to Braintree. So that London group, I'd actually met some of them when I was 10 and went to parties at theirs from, 12, 13 onwards. I was going up to London and going to parties at their house. And they're, they're my childhood friends, and they were I felt like my g- my people. And then around 2007, 2008 when the austerity measures came in and all of that shit show happened, I just noticed the gap growing. And all of a sudden it was like I had my friends who had yellow teeth and were knackered, and were wearing clothes that they've had for a long time. And then there were my friends who had these, like, glowing white teeth, 'cause it suddenly became all the rage to go get your teeth cleaned, but you could only afford to do that if you had money. And they all had tans, 'cause they all had second homes in France, and they were going off on holidays. And I, it just suddenly became like, oh. And then I took my ex-husband to a wedding of a mutual friend of this guy's, like, one of this group. And everyone there was an architect and an engineer, and they asked my ex-husband what he was. And he was like, "I wo- I work in a call center." And li- they literally didn't know what to say. And I just was like, hang on, this is nepotism. It's not a coincidence that all of you are architects and engineers and so are your children. And it just became apparent. You know, like, I had friends in that group who w- who've gone on to become famous actors who are A-list Hollywood actors. Although I had a huge argument with my friend about whether this person's an A-list Hollywood actor. I Well, they're definitely, I'd say they're more than B. People know who they are. I'm not gonna say who it is, but they are, they're a known A-list actor. And I was always kind of like, "Oh, you know, maybe he's just a really good actor." He's not even that good. We talked about that. That was one of the brief conversations I did have last night that was actually quite interesting, um, with this guy, was like, yeah, he's not an amazing actor when you actually stop and think about it, but he just had all the right connections. And so he's had this huge career, and he's gone to Hollywood and he, and he took some friends with him. There was a few other people that, out that group that went there. And I've worked my butt off, and I've taken every opportunity I can, and I've, I've been creating and creating, and I've been diverse with what I do, and I've been incredibly lucky. I've had loads of lucky breaks. None of it's ended up coming to the kind of level of stuff that they have. And I know that, uh, with the... I'm not amazingly talented, I'm not amazingly skilled, but I would say my talent and skill was on a par with those who made it out of that group of people, but they had the leg up. And it's hard to not be annoyed about that, to get I don't, I will never be better because I also have had such an amazing life. I mean, looking at this guy, it's like, "Mate, you got £5 million." Also, that's nothing. The guys who I sh- showed off last year who were trying to take over the island, they were all, they all had £15 million, but they were also embarrassed about the fact that they didn't get into the rich person club that they were trying to get into because you need, like, £25 million. And it's just like £5 million is like pocket change. I, I almost feel like I've got £5 million. I've got probably more like £15, but £5 million is embarrassingly not much. And yeah, the people that I saw off last year were all three times more rich than my idiot mate was last night. But it felt so empowering to tell him to get lost, as it also felt so empowering to see these millionaires off who were, did a government coup on us last year, and to stand up to them. And it was horrible, and they tried to destroy my life. And even in the most recent four or five months, a bunch of stuff came through that was clearly from when they tried to take me down. I don't know whether there was a delay just because of paperwork taking a while for something to happen. But, um, yeah, stuff happened that I got in touch with people who knew what they were talking about, and they were like, "I literally have no idea why you're being asked this." Like, someone must have made this happen. And I don't know whether they're still just gonna keep trying to vendetta against me 'cause they've got nothing better to do. 'Cause they are that this is the thing, rich people are not pleasant. And I came here in a really positive mindset in terms of having walked across the land and met all these different types of people, including aristocracy. Who had, you know, landed gentry with lands, you know, and stately homes and stuff. And people had put me up and looked after me and fed me, and I'd been really blown away by how everyone's just normal people. Everyone's the same. You see this whole glamorous world online and on the telly and on movies, and especially if you're not from it. You know, I'm from a council estate, so I'd never Well, the nearest I'd been to wealth was the people who own Kentwell Hall, the family who own it, I'd spent some time hanging out with them in the house because I became friends with the daughter whose, um, whose dad owned the house. So I'd stayed in a four-poster bed, and I ate dinner in their dining room a couple of times, and it always struck me how messy their world was. Like, you know, they were always covered in mud, and the house was a mess and, and so was my Greenwich and Blackheath friends. So, like, I just thought of them as middle class, and I thought of myself as middle class until kinda 2008. And yeah, their house is always messy. They might have, like, amazing artwork around the place, but it'd be, like, covered in newspapers or, you know, there'd be a sculpture with newspapers on it or whatever. And there'd be, like, mud and dogs and kids and mess and blah, blah, blah. And it just sort of felt like, um- Keeping your house clean is almost a working class thing. My mom's house would always be immaculate, and it was weird that these rich people's houses were Unless you're really designery. The really designery houses were immaculate, but most of them were just sort of messy, messy posh people in messy posh houses. And They always have that funny-smelling soap, that orange, is it Pearl soap? That orange soap. They always smell, smells of that soap, and also the red toothpaste. You know that herbal toothpaste? They always seem to have that. Seems to be what the posh people do. Or olive, olive oil soap. And then, like, golden retrievers, and they smell, you know, and the house just smells of dog and that kind of stuff. So I felt like we were all part of the same world until it just became more and more evident that that was not the case, and it became something that I actually had a bit of a bugbear about. And then when I came here, I was like, "Oh, no, but actually rich people are nice," and like, and I met these people here, and we were all actually working together in the government for a few years, where I was very taken aback by the fact that they were being community-spirited and that they were seeing with their own eyes how we did need to be socialist a little bit and we did need to have some kind of social care structure, and there were people who needed looking after and, and you knew them, and you were friends with them. And I would see them talking to each other in the pub and, it all became very real. And I was impressed and surprised by how human everyone was being. Everybody from bin men to the billionaires. It was like, oh, you're all, you're all interesting, nice people getting along, talking to each other, blah-di-blah. And then they showed their true colors, and they were so horrific, and they, they were doing dirty things to each other. They had dirt on each other, and they had court cases against each other, and then were doing the dirty on us collectively and are still doing it even now. They've left. They've left the islands and have sold their properties and stuff, and they're still emailing the government and hassling us. And it's just like, my God... And you know all of the women covered in plastic surgery and the second wives who are all Eastern European. First wives with the, the, the baby mothers are all, living elsewhere doing whatever they're doing. And then the guys have all got their new wives who are just plastic surgeried up to the nines. And it's just like, guys there's a, a couple of them that I get on really well with, and I do really like, and I do genuinely really like them. But on the whole, it was... It-- When people say money doesn't buy you happiness, being this exposed to proper wealth which I'd not ever met before, I am flabbergasted at how unhappy they are. They are vacuous. They are vulnerable spiteful, but just because they're bitter and angry So angry. They are so angry and just nasty. And then when I watched Harlots again, the TV show, I ha- I'd watched it once, uh, when it first came out, and I loved it, and I absolutely loved it. But the first time I watched it, I was, like, obsessed with the costume, and my archetype is definitely a harlot and a whore, and it spoke to me of that. Like, I was just completely turned on by the whole thing and the costumes, and I j- and I love Samantha Morton. She's my favorite actress. And so I was just very lost in all of that. And then when I watched it again recently, having spent this time with these millionaires and experienced the way that they treat people and, and what the world's like in their world it really disturbed me deeply because I was suddenly seeing what they were doing to the prostitutes and the fact they were getting, like, young girls brought in and virgins, and they were raping them, and then they were killing them and the games and the things that they just knew they could do because they could, like being hunters. Uh, there's a whole bit in there where they set one of the girls off s- to be hunted, and they're gonna hunt her, and they're... Y- you don't know what, h- how far or what they're gonna do when they catch her, and she goes off running into the forest. And then recently I, without really wanting to, but it just came up on my newsfeed, s- saw some of the Epstein file stuff, and there was a person on there who was a victim of the Epstein... and it's talking about the, the murder of this child that they were witness to, and they were talking about the amount of torture and stuff that was happening and the situations they were being kept in, and they were being told that they were gonna be killed to terrify them, and they were set off to be hunted. And there was different groups hunting them, and they all had different storylines as to how they're being hunted. And I was just like, I mean, I will put a trigger warning on this episode because of that, because it's horrific, and I didn't really want to hear about that, but at the same time I'm like How is that man still in power when stories like that are out and public, and trials and, I just, how on earth is this happening still? But also that's the culture that the wealthy are living in, where most, older wealth has been made through slavery. So there, even in the background there has to be this level of entitlement where you think that you can enslave other people and treat them however you want, and completely degrade, and humiliate, and destroy if you want to. Do whatever you want to them and they will work for you, and you can get this free labor from them. That's the basis of this culture. And then they are, you know, even if you're not someone with slaves, you're living in a world where that's perfectly reasonable. You'll have a Polish cleaner and, you'll have trips to the Epstein islands and do whatever you want to whoever you want. You'll go to strip clubs. You'll do whatever the hell you want because you can, because you've got money and that's what you do. And there is no happiness in any of it, because how can anyone be happy being like that? So there, there is actually an evil intrinsic in this culture, and it's, it's bulging and burgeoning on a scale that I don't think it's ever... I mean, it, I guess it has been seen before. It depends on, um, what history lessons you believe, but say like the Egyptians, they were living in their, temples of gold with possibly slaves. I mean, I've heard different theories, different there's different theories out there as to how that all happened, but there would've been slave labor involved in that to some degree because s- and slavery was very normal at that point in history. It w- I mean, it's been normal throughout the whole of history, to be fair. It's not, it's not just the c- the European colonization moment. There is, slavery's been pretty much the norm really throughout history. It doesn't make it okay. It makes it, uh, it's appalling, whatever. But pretty much it's been happening ever since humans have had groups and tribes and, you know, you meet another tribe, you beat them up, you take their women, you, maybe make the smaller, weaker people work for you, and you kill the big strong ones, and that's been normal for a long time. But, um, well, forever really. So, you know, it is there. Doesn't make it... I think the thing that I'm feeling is- I'm worried about the weaponization of AI and the tide that is turning where people who are anti-capitalism, and anti-technology, and anti-data centers are gonna be-- are starting to be labeled as terrorists, and that that's the beginning of, anyone who's kinda nature-loving or hippie. I mean, it's basically heading towards the witch trials again, and that's concerning me. And then the level of money and funds that people have to be able to abuse and use against those of us who feel like that. And then just the wealth, the like, just the same gap between those who have and those who have not. And I'm-- I just, uh, I'm really enjoying... I've really enjoyed standing up to the wealthy in the experiences that I've had, and I want to do it more. I don't wanna hurt anyone. I don't want anyone to be hurt. I don't really know what the answer is. I really don't. It was extremely satisfying telling him that he couldn't stay here last night, and then I blocked him on, on all my platforms that I had him on. So he's got no way of contacting me now. And I just Yeah. I don't, I just don't want I'm not gonna put up with, This oppressive, entitled behavior. And I've stood up to these guys last year as well, and I'm gonna keep doing it. Yeah. So let's pull a rune. Ah, I haven't got my runes because I sent them to Boomtown. It's also why I'm doing another me talking to you directly podcast this week is because I I'm gonna be doing Boomtown and thenKempt Well, and then I'm going away on pilgrimage for two months. So there's not gonna be many of me just talking to you podcasts till November. So I thought we'll do another one. I'll be interviewing people for the other podcasts out in the fields. So I sent my runes to Boomtown. I'm going on Monday, and I'm really looking forward to it. I'm not 100% sure what we're doing. Everything's very disorganized this year because I am absolutely in the throes of menopause. And as my darling friend said, incredible advice. She sent me a voice note. This is my friend who's 10 years older than me, and so every step of the way she's been, like, giving me advice of how to carry on being a party girl when you're getting older. And she was like she said her advice was "Upright, dressed, and present. If you are upright, dressed, and present, then you are doing well, and that's all that matters." Upright, dressed, and present is all you're getting out of me, and that is literally where I am. I am totally in that head space. Upright, dressed, and present. And yeah I was actually gonna do my podcast this week on oi, your house is on fire, was gonna be the title. And it was about the fact that my body's on fire. I'm on fire. I'm just in this fury where I, I even had to be taken aside by Ellie the other day, and she was like, "Jody, you're being a knob and you're being really spiky and you're being really mean." And so I upped my HRT levels and I'm, and I'm a new woman again. I'm back. I feel like I'm back in the room and I'm on form again, and I feel like myself, so that's been really good. I I kinda knew that my menopause was gonna be like this because adolescence and IVF, the way my body reacted to hormones both times has always been more me going mad than physical grievances like period pains and things like that. I t- I get them a bit but not that bad. It's always been more psychological. So I'm not surprised that it's proven to be psychologically driven with my experience. I haven't got any hot flushes or anything. It's literally just me being mental. And that's all cool. And I, and I don't disregard how I... what's, what things are upsetting me because they are real. It's just that I have very thin skin and, um, not a very measured way of approaching it or talking about it or whatever. So it's, it's just, yeah. So my, my body's on fire and my house is on fire, but then also the world is on fire Yeah. And it was, I was gobsmacked when I heard three of the firemen standing at the bar at the pub this week, climate change denying global warming denying, when they literally just spent a week putting out the fires on Sark because of the heat. And they just were like, "Oh yeah, it's just a heatwave. It won't, we won't have a heatwave next year." And I'm like, "We just had two wet years, absolutely. This was the first sunny year we've had since the pandemic really. I think we had one that was all right, but basically it's been pretty wet since the pandemic. But each year was still the hottest year on record." It's just... And I even said it to people in the wet year, I think the second wet year, I kept saying to people at the pub, "We're gonna have a massive shock when we have another hot year, because when we have another hot and dry year, it's gonna be excruciating because it's gonna be two wet years' worth of heat accumulation, and then we're gonna be hit by what it's actually like when it's dry." And that's exactly what's happened. I literally said what has happened this year. I said it. I said it was gonna happen. And yeah, we might now have two, three more year wet, wet years. I mean, we've basically got monsoons now because we've gone tropical. And in two or three years' time when it's dry again, it's gonna be three times hotter than it is now. And that's science, and that's scientifically proven that for the last 10, 20 years, every year has been the hottest year on record. Every year has been the hottest year on record, and that is a scientific fact. And anyone who doesn't, it's ju- I just, I'm like, can you really believe these millionaire pricks who are fucking lying to you? "Oh no, it's the immigrants," and, "No, there's no fucking climate problem." I'm just like, I'm, who are we gonna have a revolution against? Like, the fucking poor people are buying into it and are being complete imbeciles as well. It's just like, what is wrong with people? How are you so blind? And we're all gonna die. So awesome work, guys. Really awesome work. Have you ever heard of Easter Island? Like, are we just gonna chop the last tree down for our made-up gods that are not gonna look after us or protect us? Excellent. Great work, everybody. So I'm gonna pull a tarot card instead, just one for today. So I'm gonna pull a card If you enjoy this podcast then please consider supporting me on Patreon, which is patreon.com/jolirose. I very much appreciate the people who are supporting me. Thank you. I, I love all of you so much. I love all of you for just being here and listening. And what I think is brilliant about Patreon and this way of supporting the podcast is you all get a free podcast, and you all get the other free content that I make, which is the moon videos, the online ceremonies, the articles I put out. I share all of it, and you all get to enjoy it. And those of you who can afford to support me, do, and that's awesome, and I really appreciate it. Those of you who can't afford to support me, you're still here, and I... and someone's covering you, and that's why it's wonderful 'cause it's generous, it's supportive, and I, I hopefully at some point will get to make a living out of this, and that's all I'm aiming to do. I love doing it. I want this to be my full-time job. I would love to be able to make it better and, you know, spend more money on equipment or helping get guests or getting some support doing it. I need a... I really need a PA. One day. One day I might have a PA, 'cause I'm so disorganized, and especially with the menopause, I just can't answer emails anymore. I just can't. I used to. I was fine with it, but now, like, I don't know whether this is permanent, but I'm currently absolutely not very good at organizing things anymore. I feel like I've become more neurodivergent with this menopause experience. And maybe it's temporary, but it's definitely the situation I'm in at the moment. And that's fine. It's a wave that I'm riding. But any support just makes life so much easier. This year has been much easier. I've focused on getting my career and getting myself sorted when I had actually for the last... I've been living on this island for s- six years this December, and I've made the island a priority for five of those six years. And some of it was because the pandemic was still in the thick of things, and so my world of theater didn't exist, and my kind of career was on hold. But as the world's come out of the pandemic and it's got going again I was just fully immersed in doing the government here and trying to make things work on the island, and it's a never-ending job. I have given it my all, and at the end of the four years, which ends in November Not much has happened. Not much has changed, and there's new messes to sort out, and it just... It's a kaleidoscope, and it continues all day, every day. It's never-ending, and it never will end, and so someone else can take the mantle. I'll do it again in maybe a couple of years' time when I'm sorted. But the difference this year from me focusing on myself and getting myself sorted, my, my finances and my world is completely different just straight away. So I just need to give another year or two just to sort myself out, get myself sorted, and then I'll go back to helping with the government. But it, yeah, I need to... It's that thing of putting the oxygen mask on yourself first before you help other people. I was doing it the wrong way round, and it was... Yeah, it got me in quite serious difficulties, and things are much better now I'm not. So, I'm focusing on this. I'm focusing on getting my career up and running from an island, working out how to do that. But I'm an artist, so we'll figure it out. I can figure it out. That's what I'm doing, and it's happening, and it's evolving. And you're here, and I'm really glad you are, so thank you. Love you, and if you're able to support me, that's amazing. If not, just tell people about it. Whatever you're able to do is really appreciated. Um, I'm gonna be at Boomtown next week. I'm in the opening ceremony. I'm not on the Lion's Den stage. I thought I was. I'm on the Hydro stage. So if you wanna come and see me do the opening ceremony, I will be on the Hydro stage. And then I'm running the La Luna Coven venue in Old Town all weekend. So come and stick your head in and get a little revolutionary enlightenment buzz. And then I'm off to Kentwell Hall in Suffolk Tudor reenactment, which I'm very much looking forward to. So if you wanna come along and visit at Kentwell, we'll be there with the mummers, performing our mummers' plays. And then I'll be back in Sark for Vale Urbe Fair, which I can't wait. And then I'm off on the pilgrimage, Pilgrimage for Hope, and we're gonna be walking to Le Mans in France along the Michael and Apollo Line. So it's the first time we'll be walking in Europe. I'm very much looking forward to it. So let's see what the universe wants us to talk about. On with the show Oh, uh, well, I got out a deck of cards thinking it was my Thoth tarot deck, but it's not. It is the Sassy She Oracle deck, which is from Lisa Lister, who is someone that I learnt a lot from. Uh, her books are really good. Witch by Lisa Lister is really good. She definitely helped me along my way, uh, when I first sort of went... Uh, in fact, her book, and there was a few other books that I bought. There was Witches, Sluts Feminists, Witch the Wicca Solitary Practitioner Guide. There was a few. I bought them all when I was writing Sisterhood the play, and Sisterhood is about three women accused of witchcraft and in the morning they'll face their trial. One's 20, one's 40, one's 60. And as I was researching this play that I was writing, I bought a load of books on witchcraft and was like, "Do you know what? I've always sort of thought of myself as a witch," and everyone calls me a witch, and people ask me to help them do spells and things, and I've just intuitively made them up, and I've done that. I've done that my whole life. I just made it up. But then I went on a writing retreat to Glastonbury and I stayed in this log cabin at the bottom of Glastonbury Tor, and I took all these books with me, and I just sat down and just read about witchcraft. And I was like, "Oh, right. No, I really am a witch." I already do all of these things, but this is actually the proper craft and this is how you cast a circle and, and it just taught me all the things, but, like, I already was doing, like, 90% of it anyway intuitively. And then it was just really nice to actually learn my craft. I think there was, like, the 13 commandments of the witch and, and pretty mu- I think I, like, could tick all of them except for know your craft was, like, the last one. Was like, "Ah, I don't know my craft, so I'm gonna learn my craft." And, um, and it was great. I thoroughly recommend all of you doing the same thing. I'll put those books in the show notes. Spirit. So I've pulled this card, Spirit. Spirit. She's very kind of gypsy-looking. I'll put a picture up on social media, but it's a nice, nice image. So what do I think? Spirit, so this is the thing, about how we revolt without hurting anyone and remembering we're all connected, but also, like, how to be effective And peaceful and loving and acknowledging that we're all one, but also there is evil. There is evil in the world. What they were doing on Epstein's island, Donald Trump, genocide in Gaza, it's evil. There is evil afoot, and that evil is infecting the spirit of people. And those people as individuals will within them have the good as well because there are The yin and yang is in all of us. The evil is in all of us. How do we take the evil back and own it in ourselves also? It's really difficult because there's the work for you to do on yourself, but then there's also there is a part of me that just thinks that the tides will do what they do. Like, how much free will do we actually have? I, I listened to a Science Versus podcast about free will the other day, and based on what they were talking about, which is, um, empirical evidence based on how long it took for you to make a decision and that there is evidence that you make the decision inwardly, um, biologically, before you then consciously make the decision. But the argument that they got to at the end of that is but you, that's still you. Like, o- there are mechanisms and things within us that we don't understand, and the fact that it's happening within you still counts as it being you even if you haven't consciously thought it yet. That's still an aspect of you, which I totally agree with. But when I'd heard about us not having free will, that wasn't what the focus was on. The focus was on f- people who have had strokes or have, um, brain tumors suddenly becoming pedophilia, pedophil- pedo- pedophiles. There's a, yeah, there's a, a case of a guy who just suddenly just really openly started to have pedophilic fantasies and was just n- completely uninhibited about expressing them. And the wife was just like, "I don't know where this come from, but this isn't him." And they eventually found that he had a brain tumor, but she had to really push for it because people, they just She was like, "This isn't him." And they eventually found that he had a brain tumor, and they removed it, and he completely went back to normal. And then it started happening again, and she was like, "His tumor's back." And she was right, it was. And what that demonstrates is that our personality, and it's not just that, there are other examples of personalities completely changing. I mean, I've known two people in my life who've had brain tumors or, and/or some sort of brain thing happen, and they've been completely different people. Like, to the point where my body didn't recognize my friend. It was someone that I'd known for years, but I hadn't seen him for ages. And where the tumor's been removed and he was such a different person That I literally had to have a conversation with myself in my head where I was like, "No, that is this person. That is... You are talking to that person, and that is that person, but they're not that person anymore." And it was really creepy. It was weird. And then, yeah, there's so- someone else I was related to through my last marriage, um, his personality completely changed as well, and it was only in hindsight everyone's like, "Oh, that was when they stopped, wanting to be near us and hanging out with us, and it must have been when this tumor was developing." And it's, it's fascinating because then it's like, okay, so if your personality can be changed and manipulated by what's, things in your brain, how much is your personality you and how much is it just your brain makeup? You know, everyone's brain is different. I mean, yes, again, I suppose like what they were saying, that is still you. But, like, I suppose you then get into, like, is there a God? 'Cause, like, who chooses what brain people get and all the rest of it. But I... It's almost like I feel like how much control do we actually have over what's going on? That's why I always say just stick to your pixel. Make your pixel however you want it to be. So for you personally, Embrace your spirit. What is your spirit? And for me, what I imagine with spirit, it's the hermit card. It's that little spark that he holds in the lantern. And we were all gifted a spark, which could be a soul or a spirit, could also be the brain machine that you were given. And that brain machine c- has, through the electricity and the energy that is running through your body, creates this personality which can be envisaged as a little spark, that when you die, that spark will go. And something feels like it goes back to the infinite, but that infinite might just be the, the abyss of the Lego brick dilu- dissolving and reassembling that is, you know, we're all stardust, we're all made from stardust, and we'll go back to the Earth, and we'll reform into something else, and that just continues to keep happening. But there does seem to also be this soul-spirit thing that, that also does something, that moves. Even if it's just in the web of the story, you know, the, the ripples that we leave behind, the, the Even if it's just you scratching your initials into a wooden panel in your house that someone finds 500 years later, we're all leaving marks somehow. You know, each of us leaves some form of ripple, no matter how insignificant you think you are or whatever you think about yourself. Like, everyone is leaving ripples behind. And In that, we're also creating the music. I always think again of, I love Rumi's poem, "God picked up the reed flute world and blew. Each note was a pain or a longing coming through one of us. Remember the lips where the wind breath originated, and be your note. I'll tell you how it's enough. Go up onto the roof in the city of the soul. Go up onto your roof at night and sing your note. Sing loud." And I love that poem, and I just think, yes, we're all our notes. We're all our spirit. We're all our little spark, and sometimes the music is going through a lovely light, happy melody, and sometimes it is getting extremely dramatic, and dark, and intense. And we're all the notes in that symphony, so in some way we are playing our part within that, and we are an aspect of it. And within each of us is all the other notes. Like we are, again, this inner divine jewel. You're a facet in a jewel, and all the other facets are visible through you, so there's a bit of, we are all one. You know, we are all one. We're the symphony, and we're being our note. We're the facet and we're the jewel. We're the spark, but we are the infinite fire or drop in ocean, whatever metaphor you want to use. But all you can do in your life is be your note, your pixel, your little spark, and to keep it, it happy and alive and loved. And that does not come through money and gold. It does not come from outer gold. It comes from alchemical inner gold, turning your shit into gold. Your lessons. Oh, bless that. I mean, bless the guy. I feel bad for him. You know, his, his dad died when he was young. He... I could hear his longing. I could hear his pain, and maybe sh- I should reach out to him again and just say like, say like, "I s- I see you, but y- you must stop this..." And no one ca- literally no one cares how much money you earn, and who you know, and all the rest of it. It's just like deluded, deluded and in pain. And it was, yeah, he was in pain. I think maybe I will. I might reach out to him and just say like, "Sorry that happened, but you were awful." "And you need to check yourself." I mean, I think probably he will do anyway, uh, hopefully. He might have got the message. But yeah, this spirit card, I feel like we all need to nurture our little slice of spirit, our little speck of spirit, and be the pixel you wanna be in the world. And the more of us that do it, the more the picture will change, and that feel is the only power we have. And I don't, you know, I don't know, I... It brings me onto the chaos crusade So for this week's Chaos Crusader, I just want to challenge you to stand up against some kind of oppression a- and to just do it as an experiment. So something that you're seeing somewhere that you feel is out of order or op- oppressive. Could be people that keep being shitty or talking about money all the time, whatever it is. Or there might be something happening in your workplace or something that you're like, "Do you know what? This has been bothering me for ages. It's time for me to write that email or have that awkward conversation and to just do something about it." And I think we're all so scared of confrontation. I mean, I hated going up and saying to my friend last night, "You had to leave, and that you couldn't stay at mine." But I also value my best mate, Ellie. I value her so much more. I just thought, "What have I actually got to lose?" I don't care what this person thinks of me. I haven't seen him for 25 years. I don't care who he knows or what his credentials are. He's nothing to me. But this person who is upset is everything to me, and that's what matters. And that's what I think we need to do more and more in the world. It's like, does it matter that this is awkward or difficult or uncomfortable to have this conversation? Or do I care about the fact that I don't want that tree cut down? Or it's not right that you're taking away milk from the common room, or that person's done that person wrong and they've got away with it, and it's not okay. Whatever it is, I challenge you to stand up to it. You don't have to do It's not violence. It's not anything nasty. It's just s- standing your ground or doing something about it. Take that person to court. Do the thing. Whatever it is, whatever it is, make a stand. Because I think the more we keep doing this, the more we all do it, it's the only way we're gonna make a difference. And we have to fight. We have to fight for our right to protest and for us to fight against 'cause if we don't, and we keep blindly going in the direction we're in, it's really not far away. Like, we're probably talking five years tops before we're gonna have mad AI robot police, army, drone hor- I mean, we kinda have it already, but I think it's just gonna get worse, and if we don't stop this madness I just, I don't know. I mean, it will never be as bad as you imagine. It never is. You know, like nine years ago, I was like, "Oh, there's never gonna be any more bananas," and blah, blah. And lo and behold, there still is. I was like, "There's only five crops left." There's... That was nine years ago. The things that I feared happening are happening a lot slower than I thought they were going to. And also, it's all happening more it is happening as much as I thought it was going to. The madness that we're in, this is the apocalypse that I was imagining. It's just that you can go about your everyday life while it's happening, as people in war can. You know, you'll have a war situation, and the f- cameras are all filming that way. But over there, there's people going to school and shopping and, you know, living their lives, and that's basically what's happening. We're in an apocalypse with authoritarian state dictator government madness, drones and droids and AI and all the, and the whole thing's on fire, and we're also going shopping and having nice holidays and, you know, just going about our business. And that's what will happen till the end. And even when we're all living in animal skin bivouacs and, you know, Neolithic people again, we'll just be picking our teeth with some toothpick we've made out of an animal bone and we'll be, lighting a fire by rubbing sticks and we'll just be going about our business, falling in love, da, da, da. You know, whatever. Until we're really gone, we'll just be being human, and that will just keep happening and bless our little cotton socks. Love you all. I hope you're well. I look forward to my Boomtown interviews and see how that all unfolds. But yeah, thank you for being here. Go stand up to a toff. Go topple a toff. Love you. Speak to you soon. See you then on