#81 Gemini Season and the Wheels Coming off the Train!

Turns out the HRT was working… because when it ran out unexpectedly last Friday, the wheels fully came off the train. Add getting ill on top, and this week’s podcast has arrived slightly later than usual.

In the new episode of Nonsense in the Chaos I’m talking about grounding and recalibrating during the busy headiness of Gemini Season, tending the home fires, avoiding burnout, and how to begin again after finishing a big piece of work and entering a new cycle.

A slightly frazzled but heartfelt one this week.

The music and artwork is by @moxmoxmoxiemox

Nonsense in the Chaos is available on all podcast platforms or you can listen to it here… https://nonsenseinthechaos.buzzsprout.com 

I'd love to know what you think! If you want to get in touch with me about anything on the podcast then email nonsenseinthechaos@gmail.com or you can follow me on Instagram and Bluesky @kriyaarts or at the Nonsense in the Chaos Page on Facebook.

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Thank you for all your support -x-

Transcript

0:54

Welcome to the Nonsense in the Chaos. I'm your host, Jodie Rose. I am, you might be able to tell from my voice, a little bit ill, and the podcast is late. I am ever so sorry. I've actually had a complete not meltdown, that's the wrong word. The train came off the rails this week with I ran out of HRT and my thyroid medication and needed a repeat prescription, before last weekend. And Didn't get it in time, and so didn't take it over the weekend. And then on Monday, just everything went completely crazy. I double-booked myself with a tourism summit, which was really important, and it was with the government, going over to Guernsey to talk to service providers and build products and relationships, and for me, it was to plan the festivals that I may or may not be doing. I'll tell you more about that in a sec. And, um, I went and double-booked myself with my two best mates who just got married, and they were over for their honeymoon. So it was, like, quite big things to double-book Really difficult. So it wasn't as if I could easily d- decide what to do. I ended up splitting the difference 'cause my friends were over for the same amount of time that the summit was going on for. So I just did a day and a half of the summit and a day and a half with my friends. And it was exhausting. I was trying to catch up 'cause I managed to get the medication on Monday, and I was playing catch-up with my meds And they were getting me back into being okay again and feeling okay again, but I... I then came down with a cold, and so I was also fighting a cold at the same time. And I didn't even think about the podcast until today. I've got work tonight at The Mermaid and then work all day on Sunday. And then I'm also taking people out kayaking tomorrow 'cause the season's begun, so I'll be working for Adventure Sark, taking people out, regularly. Which I didn't think I could do, but I took my friends out yesterday, who are here for their honeymoon, and we went kayaking. And actually, I was a bit fitter than I thought I was, and was actually okay doing it. But I really don't feel ready for this weekend physically. I don't feel like I'm gonna be able to do it. I just feel like this cold's gonna get me. But I also wasn't able to cover my colleague because my colleague got ill. there's something going around. And because my friends were over for the honeymoon, I just said, "I really can't cover you." So then I'm gonna feel really bad if I now have to be covered, so I'm gonna try not to be. it's only, you know, it's only this weekend, but I'll probably be ill next week, but that's next week's problem. Yeah, it just feels like this has been a bit insane. So it was funny, I spoke to my friend Saffron and said that, all of the, WhatsApp messages I sent her Saffron, who I interviewed on the podcast a couple of weeks ago. I was like, "I, all of the WhatsApp messages I send you today are gonna end up being just what the podcast is about." So apologies, Saffron, that the podcast is a repeat of our messages. But yeah, I... Last week I had the Guernsey tourism people come over to Sark, and we showed them around And the astrology of last week was saying that Tuesday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday you're gonna be asking questions, and it's really good to get c- clear what those questions are. Like, to notice what's coming up, what you're thinking about, what you're mulling over. And then Thursday will be the day when answers come through. So keep an eye out for what's coming through on Thursday. My question was, am I actually physically able to put on another festival sh- a month after Beltane? I felt okay until today. Now because I'm feeling ill I'm like, "Absolutely no." But I did feel energetically like I could do it, but it would need a lot of help, and I had called in all the favors that I could possibly call in from people on Sark, for Beltane. So if I was to do it again I would need a team of people who have been paid properly to come over with the production company that I'm gonna be working with. So I, I need to have, you know, enough money. Well, I, that wasn't even what was in my head. Actually on the Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday I was like, "Oh, there's no way I can do this. There's no way..." I, like I could do it myself but I couldn't ask other people to step up and do it again. The only way would be if the production company did it. And then on the Thursday when Guernsey came over, Guernsey Tourism were like, "Your festival's the kind of flagship thing that we're doing as part of the William the Conqueror millennium celebrations. We want you to go ahead. We will help you any way we can. Like, just make it happen, but you will have as much support as we can give you. So I just was like, "Okay, I guess I've gotta do it then." So then on Monday I discovered that I had double booked myself to go to the tourism summit with my friends coming over for the honeymoon. And luckily someone asked me or asked Dizzle in the morning, "Oh, isn't Jodie going to the summit in Guernsey today?" And it actually turned out that we didn't need to be on the boat till 4:20 in the afternoon. So I had a day at least to sort things out, change things around, and make it work. I managed to make everything okay with my friends who were coming over. I booked them a meal but it I said, "It would just have to be the two of you rather than me and Dizz coming with you. If you go just the two of you and then have a day to yourselves, and then I'll be over on the 3:00 ferry." And that actually ended up working out well 'cause they had a bit of time to themselves, and they had a really lovely time. And then we had loads of time together, like we did loads of stuff afterwards when I got back, so it, we worked out just fine. And I got ready to go to the tourism summit, but because my medication, just picked it up that morning and taken it that morning, but it wasn't, working again yet, it was... So it's been interesting to observe how much the HRT is definitely working. I do not know, and I'm in awe of all the women who have got through menopause without having... E- I mean, even if you don't feel like you need to go on HRT and you haven't taken HRT, but just the number of women who probably did need it and how hard life has been for all those women, and it makes me really angry. I cannot believe how much I couldn't do anything and I, I'm still in catch-up 'cause obviously I started taking the medication again. I think, you know, I feel a bit better now, but my... yeah, so I went to the tourism summit, and it went really well, and I had lots of great conversations, and we're gonna get loads of support for the festivals from people outside of the government as well. And it just went great. And I was really inspired and had ideas of how to make it work. I've then subsequently had some people chuck some spanners in the work since I got back here to Sark, but I'm not gonna let that derail me. That's the thing with this thing of living on Sark and in this community, is that you can just get someone just say something to you in the pub or, you know, in the street that just totally sidelines everything. So it is a kaleidoscope. the only way to describe it is a kaleidoscope, 'cause you can be turning a kaleidoscope and then just one little chink of glass falls, and it changes the whole picture again. And you have to learn to be okay with it. I mean, in terms of the nonsense and the chaos, it is absolutely the epitome of that. Forever, all day, every day, your reality is being turned on its head because of human interaction. And the one thing that's stable and that gives you solace and takes care of you is the beautiful nature all around you, because it's stunning. You know, I've, I've done a lot of, tourism stuff this week. So when I got back from the tourism summit and selling Sark and talking about how great Sark is and being really positive, I then came back and spent time with my friends, and we had a delicious Greek feast here at our house that my wonderful housemate, Ellie, made, and we just had this... greek food's my favorite cuisine. If I got stuck on a island and could only eat one cuisine for the rest of my life, it would be Greek. It's just so summery and delicious, and I love it. So we had a huge beautiful Greek feast, and, my friends came over to the house. And then the next day we got up and we went down into the Goulieu Caves, which is a huge cave system that is covered, 'cause some- it's submerged underwater for half the day from high, you know, for high tide. And so when it goes out, the walls are covered in sea anemones, and so they look like little round jewels. They're actually like little slimy nipples, but they look like jewels, so they're called the jeweled caves, and they're stunning. So we went and had a swim down there and, and went down into the Goulieu Caves. And then that night we went for dinner at the Old Hall, and we went to the music jam night, and my friends got up and sang, which was wonderful. It was really nice to see them do that. And everyone was like, "Oh my God, your mates are so cool." It's like, "Aren't they lovely? Yes, they're hippies." They're very hippie. I loved it so much. And I'm very, It was just funny watching them interact with- You know, being vegan, one of them was vegan, and didn't wanna use plastic, and, you know, my friend's really on it with being not up for things like plastic straws or plastic containers if it's unnecessary, and so was very willing to question it. It was just funny going around the island with them doing that to everybody. And I was just like, "Well, I mean, they are right." I think for me, I pick my battles 'cause I'm having to live alongside people, and there are many battles having to be picked and fought and done all the time that, some things end up falling by the wayside that actually I do really care about. Like, it really bothered me that one of the pubs was using plastic straws the other day. I was like, "Why? We don't need to use plastic straws." But, so it was nice to be with my friends who kind of, were an impetus to do that again and question things again that I'd maybe let slide And my friend, you know, and, and it not come from me, it's coming from a tourist, so it, it, that helps as well because it means that they sort of have to listen 'cause tourists are what we need. So if the tourists aren't happy, and that's what, you know, the modern world is like and people don't want plastic then the islanders are more likely to listen. But yeah, then yesterday we went kayaking, and I really loved being out on the sea again and going exploring along the coast. We went somewhere I've never been before called Pot Bay, which is a creux. And our harbor is called Creux Harbor, and a creux is a cave where the ceiling's fallen in, so it's a chimney. And, Creux Harbor used to be a creux, now it's just a, like a basin, a bay. So it's a natural harbor. there was a, a creux in Little Sark called Pot Bay. you used to be able to get into it from above, along a, holding onto a rope. But it has had lots of landslides, and it's become unsafe, and the landowner doesn't wanna get sued you know, and his insurance isn't gonna cover people hurting themselves on his land, so he's closed off the route from above. But you can get in there still from the sea, so we went and had an explore together, and that's the first time I've ever been there. So I love that I'm still discovering new places here, and that's what's amazing, that it's a goldfish bowl but there's always new things to experience. and even like the tidal differences, some of the experiences I had in the caves yesterday on my kayak were crazy. Like it was probably the biggest swell, and yeah, it was some of the hairiest situations. one of my friends fell out of their kayak and we had to get back in again. But all of it was really good for me as a training and reminder of how to do things because you know, I'm taking people out on Saturday, and I had to do a rescue. I've only done a rescue like once or twice before, and I've been doing this for four years now. So it was, useful retrain to do that. And my friend was totally fine. It was just, it was just 'cause it was very swelly. We kept getting hit by really big waves when we were trying to negotiate tiny little spaces in our kayaks. But it's so beautiful. Like, the sun's back out. We're gonna have a heat wave all weekend. It's gonna be a hot, lovely weekend. But I really need to chill. I definitely need to chill. Next weekend I'm working all weekend as well. It's gonna be a big, big one next weekend. So I need to take it easy. And yeah, so as you can hear, my voice is not great. We did a lot of talking at the summit It was like a speed dating thing. And, yeah, so, so I, up until yesterday I was absolutely clear about that. I, I am clear still that I will do these festivals. Someone said something to me that was good, but it just meant that, So there's two festivals I'm gonna be putting on next year. One is the flagship of the millennium William the Conqueror thing, and that's gonna be a heavy metal Norman-themed metal festival, and that's gonna be really fun. but it's not something I wanna go to. It's gonna just be work, which is cool 'cause that's more it will help me be more focused and in a way it'll be easier because I'm not gonna be partying as well as going to it. Whereas Beltane is an excuse for me to party. It's a party I want to go to, it's just that I have to put it on. But, the folk pirate festival that I'm gonna do at the beginning of August, that is again, one I want to party at. But, I'd created it so it's a real light touch. So we will put something on at the centenary and there will be something there, but it will be, there'll be things happening all over the island. And someone then told me yesterday that they have made some really good connections with a lot of really famous folk artists who were keen to come over and perform here. And, but they would be talking like agency fees, so proper money. And- That was what sidelined me, 'cause it's not, like, there's nothing wrong with that, that's cool. It's just that then you're talking about me making that second festival really big as well. It's no longer the light touch festival that it was meant to be, which means I definitely can't do that as well next year. Like, I can't do two big festivals again, or two big festivals next year after doing Beltane. I can do Beltane, one big festival, and another light touch festival. But yeah, it just threw me. And I just got a bit annoyed 'cause they were like, "Well, look, actually maybe if you can't do it, then I could get someone else to do it." and then I was like, "Yeah, but then that's gonna be competing with what I'm doing." It's just that there's only so many weekends available where there isn't stuff happening, and also we wanna make sure that the, bin men aren't overwhelmed. And I've, you know, I'm, there's a lot of moving parts that I'm trying to make sure work, and it just feels a bit exhausting when someone's like, "Oh, well, I'm just gonna do this other thing then." And you're like, "Oh, okay, cool. Whatever." It would be nice if we worked together rather than you just doing something separate, but also they haven't got any time. They, they do more than I do in many ways. So I don't know. It's just, sometimes someone says something and it kind of pulls the wind out of your sails. So I feel a little bit deflated from that, and that was just last night. So that conversation happened last night and it's, I've got my glad rags on, I've put my makeup on, I've got ready for doing a Friday night shift at the Merms. That's like seven hours shift tonight, and it's really warm. It's very hot, here. We're gonna have this lovely heatwave. But yeah, I'm just feeling ill and tired and bit, deflated, having had an amazing week. So yeah, I like to be honest with you about where I'm at and how I'm feeling, and unpick it, 'cause it actually kind of helps me talking about it here on my own in the room. I'm I love it though, 'cause I, I do get feedback from you and I really appreciate it. I really do. And if you've never spoke to me before, do reach out to me and talk to me, give me advice, or tell me if things resonate with you, 'cause it's lovely to hear and know. Every time I get someone who I've, don't really know contact me or someone who I didn't expect to say, "Oh, yeah, I love your podcast," or whatever, it really makes my day. So I think probably it's time to pick a rune If you enjoy this podcast, then please consider supporting me on Patreon, which is patreon.com/jolerose. It is a dream to be able to just do this full-time, and it feels like it's achievable. It-- there are increasing numbers of people starting to follow me and be interested in what I'm doing, and I really appreciate it, so thank you. If you're new here, welcome, and it's lovely to have you. And if you're someone who's followed me the whole way, who's a friend of mine, thank you so much for your support. I really appreciate it. It's been an amazing journey getting to learn how to use the equipment and make the podcast, and I keep wanting to try and make it better and slicker, which today is a bit of a joke with me waking up and realizing I hadn't even done one. I will bring one out each week, even if I'm ill, and even if I have lost my marbles through menopause. I will still push on through and make a podcast for you, unless it's the creation hibernation time, when I will take time out to write. I've been working on my book some more, so that should be ready to go out soon. there's a little bit to do left, but I'm very happy with where it's at and can't wait to share it with the world. So I'm gonna hopefully get a publisher. If you know anyone who's a book publisher who might be interested in the kind of books that you think I might write, or if you've read my previous work. This is, much more accessible than my previous books, this one's about my pilgrimage across the UK. the first one that I walked where my husband split up with me, and it's what led to me moving here to Sark. And it was an incredible journey where I met lots of wonderful people. If you were in that pilgrimage at any point, if you met me and walked with me or had anything to do with me, then you're in my book, and I can't wait for you to read it and to hear me talk about you, 'cause it will all be with love. I promise. It's taken a long time for this book to get ready, but I feel like it's there, and I've improved as a writer so much from the process of doing it. And I feel like it's one that could be more mainstream and could be-- could reach bigger audiences than I have previously. So I look forward to getting that out there. It's called Walking with Autumn. And then also the Which Fall Are You course will be starting next month with the, Gemini dark moon, which I think is the 14th of June. Let me just check in my diary 15th of June. So we'll have the dark moon in Gemini opening ceremony, and then each Monday, so on the 15th 15th is a Monday, so each Monday for the next four weeks you will receive a love bundle through your email with exercises creative exercises to do, and, prompts and things to think about and explore in your inner world that will help you to find out what your archetype is. Like, who are you playing in the world of the play of life? What's your lineage? What's your atmosphere? What kind of role is it? What, what belongs to you? What are your tools? What sort of, partners do you see? Who are the kind of people in your life that belong to you? And then it's so much easier to live life when you know that. Like, I know who my archetypes are, and I just live into them. I own them. I enjoy being them, and I enjoy spending time with them, and I enjoy diving into them deeper. So I've re-explored some of my archetypes again, doing this another round with people in the Witchfully You course, and I'll go... I'll dive deeper into my archetype and enjoy exploring them even further. So I love doing it. It's the most profound work I do. it's the deepest work I do, and I really see huge results in people. You know, they transform and are so, bigger and brighter. You can see that they're living into their higher selves, and that's what I want the world to be full of, of people being their biggest, brightest selves, 'cause they're definitely always more fun to hang out with. So if you would like to shine bright and be the star that you are, then come and do the course. And, yeah. So thank you for supporting me. And if you are able to support with a monthly donation, it makes such a difference. I would like this to be my full-time job. If I can get that happening, then I won't have to work at the weekends in the pub, and I can be, free to be an artist once more which I used to do in the UK. So let's keep chugging along, and thank you for being here. I appreciate it. Now on with the show So the rune that I've pulled is the silver birch, new beginnings. And that came out in the reading that I did for this lunar cycle from the moon that we just had, which was the Taurus dark moon. And the Taurus dark moon is very Aphrodite. So Aphrodite is my main archetype. And it just has shown up in everything that I've ever done. But also once you know that, in a way it's fun to play with pushing against it and being something else. So like, I don't wear makeup most of the time, and I'm quite blokey and I'm quite happy to be blokey and, and just be comfortable. I wear really bright, fabulous clothes, but they're normally comfortable. I won't squeeze myself into things that are, are not comfortable to be in. I don't live somewhere where you could wear high heels. we don't have roads, we just have dirt tracks. But even in the UK, I did actually go through a phase in my 20s of wearing stilettos, but that's 'cause I was sort of going through quite an S&M kinky stage, and, wore a lot of high heels at that point. I used to go everywhere on my bike in high heels. I loved it. but that was a phase and most of my life I've been wearing comfortable shoes. I just really think it's important to embrace and enjoy who you are. And the Taurus Dark Moon for me was a reset to remember and to tune in, and to begin again. And it felt like the end of the pilgrimage that I went through. 'Cause it felt more like something I went through rather than went on, the last pilgrimage. The group of people that we had diminished significantly just before we set off, so there was meant to be seven of us walking and it ended up being four of us, and the dynamic was really tough. there was some very tricky, energetic things going on that made it particularly difficult, and I struggled and I was having a hard time. I didn't realize that I was going through the menopause and that the menopause was affecting how I was feeling and being and what was happening. It was making it even harder. And it started to show up in having medical issues. I had a bad problem with my back, and I had problem with my ankles, and I've never had any of that before. Normally when I walk the pilgrimages I come away from them feeling so strong and fit, and I came away from this one feeling fat. my ankles were screwed and although my back, I managed to fix it on the pilgrimage, which was amazing. Someone gave me some extremely strong anti-inflammatories, and it seemed to make... and it's been fine ever since. My back's totally fine. So thank goodness because that was acute pain. I thought I was gonna have to stop And I thought I might have damaged myself for life, but it seems to have actually remedied something that was kind of there a bit before. So there was a pain in that spot already, and I kind of think it was already starting to hernia a little bit it being maybe even over a year of being like that, and then the pilgrimage had made it, exasperated it. But then this medication seemed to suck it in, and it's fine now. I haven't got a pain in that area of my back at all. But my ankles, I realized when I got back that I'd been riding my bike with my seat too high, and I'd been overextending my ankles for years, you know, like the whole time I'd lived here, so three, four years of extending my ankles. And I couldn't... Every time I sat down on the pilgrimage and got up again, they were completely stiff, and they really hurt, and I'd have to get moving, and then once I was moving, they were okay. But when I got back, they just were exactly the same, like they were in so much pain for ages, and I knew that I really needed to, rest them. But I also had put on weight, and I realize now that was because of the menopause as well, and I just couldn't shift it, and it was... I, I did the detox thing, what I normally do, and I gave up wheat and dairy, and I gave up sugar, and the weight wasn't going. That was frustrating. And then that, I went on the journey of finding out what was wrong with me and found out that I've got an underactive thyroid, which slows your metabolism down. So I started taking thyroid medication. That hasn't really shifted my weight still, but it has helped. I would say it has helped a bit, and I have now s- found myself in much more solid ground having taken the HRT. So all that journey happened after the pilgrimage, which is in September or October. so November's when I got back here. So November, December Got myself into a more stable place. And then there was a bit of a difficult landing coming back home. Things weren't the same when I got back. my husband had made a new group of friends that were an awesome group of people, but I only vaguely knew them. And so I came back to him having, like, really good friends that were new, and it had always sort of before been me and him. And I'm now really good friends with the group that he made friends with, and we've all become close, and I do, I love them to pieces. And so that's all figured itself out. But it just, it was just a bit clunky when I first got back, 'cause it's always difficult if you're... Well, it's just difficult to come back to your, partner suddenly being really good friends with a whole new group that you're not friends with when, when it was just the two of you before. and then we had to move house, and the house came as a surprise. We were expecting to build Which I would have loved to have done, 'cause we were gonna build a hobbit house and, well, we were hoping to build a hobbit house, but actually financially we realized that we didn't have enough money to do that, and we would have had to have done everything. And considering how, looking at how we're doing it, doing DIY on the house here and how capable we are of doing things, we wouldn't have been able to build a house. I mean, we're having to get people to help us to do everything. I bought some fruit trees that I wanna plant, and I haven't even managed to plant them yet. So yeah, need to, get a bit better at being practical really around the house, 'cause we're, we're not doing a good job of it at the moment. But, yeah, so the whole thing of thinking we were gonna build a house and then it turning out that we're not building a house, and then bought this house, and the house was incredible, and ridiculously cheap. Like, it was insane, but it's 'cause it was local market, and that's wonderful that local market works, and we're able to keep, you know, families on the island. His, Diz's family, my husband's family have been here for 500 years, and it's stopping people buying those second homes and pushing people out. And yeah, the local market's a really precious thing, and it's great. And this was a, a, an example of it in action. You know, a local lad was able to buy and live on the island through the local market, and that's incredible. So very lucky. I feel extremely lucky. This whole, this has all been a surprise to, to both of us, 'cause we weren't, we didn't know anything about any of it happening, the inheritance or anything. And then we have put on the festival Beltane, which is our wedding anniversary, and that's a lot of work and a lot of emotional relationship stuff goes on with that, you know, 'cause we were stressed. We'd just moved house as well, so being stressed out, being tired. But we've had, had... I mean, the festival went amazing, and we had, so much fun, and people blow your mind with how supportive and helpful they are, and you just end up just deeper in love with everyone. And we've come out the other end, we're deeper in love with each other, and then our, my best mate's moved over, and she's been brilliant and has been helping me out with everything, and she gets on really well with my husband, and we're, we're just a family now. It's like the three of us live here, and we have a lovely, lovely relaxed feel. It just feels Like I've got support, you know, she helps with the housework and she helps with the house, and that, that's really good. And yeah, it just feels like the dark moon, Taurus dark moon, my archetype, and that like sexy, sensual yumminess. I was able to just sit in it and just be in it, and I landed, and as soon as I did it felt like the pilgrimage had finally come to an end. It's like, okay, so you went through some trials and tribulations, and that's what a, a good a juicy pilgrimage, I'd say is the word, 'cause it's not necessarily good. But a juicy pilgrimage really challenges you, really pushes you, and off the back of it, massive transformations happen. I am now living in a house, that we own. We're no longer paying rent. I'm not ever gonna be paying rent ever again, and that's amazing. I am gonna be paying la- land rent and tax, but we're not paying a landlord rent anymore, and no one can move us out of this house. This is our house. And we're able to do whatever we want to it, and yeah, just it's a security that I never sought or expected. it feels like an amazing gift that the universe has given us this place. It's stunning. And then also our relationship, me and Diz, it's developed and is more solid and more kind of real, I guess, we're so good. We work well together, and even when things are difficult, we still are able to communicate and work our way through it. we've had a fight for the first time, but it was totally fine, and we just made up in a healthy way like the next morning, and it felt good. it felt like we'd achieved something by being able to communicate and move on so quickly. With my, last marriage, things would hang on for ages, and be pulled up again in the future, and yeah, it just felt like everything was always a, a catastrophe. I was treading on eggshells the whole time. And so to be in a relationship where I feel like we can just communicate, and we can move on, and we can forgive, and we have fun, and make each other laugh, and work well as a team, and can put on a festival even when we're moving house and it's really stressful, but we can still do it, and it just feels so like a partnership and one that works well. we just got a lovely group of friends as well that are supportive and are gonna help me with the festival. Like I talked about it with them yesterday, and they're all up for coming on board to help with putting these festivals on next year. So yeah, it feels like I've come out the other end of everything landed and feeling supported and In a new place, but it's now a new beginning. And I think, I think that we're- there's a lot, lots going on astrologically that also means that collectively there's a, a new beginning happening with Uranus is, was already in Gemini. And as we got here into Gemini, it's Gemini season now, is this new season of ideas and thoughts and, communication. And then Uranus is the planet of, like, sudden change and, like, surprise change, and it was in Gemini when we got here, so it feels like there's this time for sort of big, new things to happen, relationships and, or work. Like, what needs shifting, what needs changing, what you wanna communicate differently. Yeah, and I feel like for me to get help with the things that are coming up and to... I need to talk to this person. Again, I need to let the wind out of my sails 'cause they didn't do anything wrong, they just were talking. They were excited about the fact they'd made these connections. But it's just about being in communication about what we're doing and how we're doing it, and asking for help. Yeah, asking for help. Lots of things, really. it, it feels like a new, a new bunch of work is starting to unfold, and I need to start it now, and I need to think about how to do these things now. but also to look after myself and give myself some time out. I think where I'm at right this second is I've got a bunch of things that I need to follow up and do. went to those meetings, need to follow up and email those people and just make sure that I kind of lock that all in. But also I need a bit of time out from partying. I've had a really great, I mean, we haven't been partying that hard, but it has been a lot 'cause my friend just moved over, and then people are coming over to visit, and Beltane. It's been... 'cause it's the 22nd. Yes, we've had 22 days that m- much of that was Beltane s- fun, and then things happening between now and then, people visiting and stuff. And, yeah, I just feel like I need a little bit of time out to just get on with the work and make sure that I'm kind of on, on more stable ground in terms of that. And then I can party again a bit more in the summer when it, like, gets to big summer. Summer solstice on the 21st of June. So yeah, I think between now and then, give myself a little bit of space to have some downtime and relax. So that brings me onto the Chaos Crusade For this week's Chaos Crusade, I invite you to do some deep relaxation. If you are someone who meditates, I would invite you to do a longer meditation than you normally do. I normally do 10, 15-minute meditations almost every day. But it's really important in Gemini season that you do meditation every day, that you get your practice up again because it's a heady time of year. So do your practice. If you don't do a practice, maybe start implementing a practice. I follow, there's Insight. There's an app called Insight, that you can use that does 10-minute meditations, or you can just put 10-minute meditations into YouTube. There are lots of ways that you can get them for free. And I just do a 10-minute every day, and then I'll, I also do a 20-minute yoga, session f- with Adriene, who's a YouTube yoga instructor, and she has lots of like between 15 and 30-minute sessions that she has. So I normally will sit down, light a candle, light a joss stick, pull a card, and that card's like an inspiration for the day. And then I'll do a yoga session, and then I'll do a meditation. And that all takes about an hour. It's, it's sort of probably more about like 45 minutes, but could be up to an hour. But it just gives me that time to just wake up and chill and be alive and enjoy my day and feel like I've nourished myself. It's like I've taken myself to the spa before I start the day, and then it takes me an hour to get ready. so I give myself two hours in the morning to get up and get ready, and it just means that I start the day feeling well and refreshed and grounded. So my invitation is this week to push yourself to do a longer one. So sit for an hour and just do a longer meditation. It can be a guided one, or it can be one that you just sit and do on your own. But just to give yourself that space to do something a bit longer than you normally do. But also, the other thing I would say to do at the moment is morning pages. So with the Gemini season, it's really good to get up and empty your head and to sit and just write. So you write three pages. It doesn't matter how big your notebook is, just sit and write three pages that you're never gonna read again. Gemini is so heady. So open, just clear your head out and get that- sort of slate clean first thing in the morning so you're not worrying about things and moaning about things and all that. It's all gonna be negative, but you're not meant to read it again, and just clear your head out. So it could be that you do that, but whatever it is, do something to help calm you, calm your nervous system, and silence the, the noise in your head. So I hope that's useful. Thank you again for being here and for being understanding. But, I'll be back on track again, next week with a guest. So thank you so much for being here. I love you all very much, and thanks for your support. I really appreciate it. I'll see you then on.