#49 Letting the Universe Lead & Trusting the Unknown

During this week’s podcast, I reflect on the adventure that unfolds when I let the universe lead and trust the unknown. I explore the lessons of Mercury Retrograde, tune into Kairos time, and speak on the importance of keeping my nervous system regulated by trusting the process — especially as I head into a season where everything seems to be happening at once.

How do I disrupt the old narratives, stay organised, meet my responsibilities, earn money, and nurture my relationships — all at the same time?

It is possible, if I stay calm and trust that all will be well.
And all will be well, if I create it to be so.

So mote it be.

The music and artwork is by @moxmoxmoxiemox

Nonsense in the Chaos is available on all podcast platforms or you can listen to it here… https://nonsenseinthechaos.buzzsprout.com

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Thank you for all your support -x-

Transcript

0:32

The. Welcome to The Nonsense in the Chaos. I'm your host, Jolie Rose. I've just had the most gorgeous Sunday. I absolutely love Sundays. It's my favorite day of the week. I think I was born on a Sunday, actually. Yes, I was. And I was very pleased when I found that out. And today we had the perfect Sunday, so we all headed down to durable. There was a gang of us that went down. There's some really, really lovely people on the island this year, so every year it's different. We are a kaleidoscope of community and all the time new people come over as seasonal workers and or move over here and people come and go constantly. So it is funny'cause it's 500 people and everyone assumes that it's a really quiet place and that. The social life must be really quiet and everyone says, oh, it must be so different coming from Brighton. And I have more of a social life here than I did in Brighton. I in my twenties, definitely had more of a social life in Brighton, but at the age that I am now, 46 in Brighton, most of my friends had had children and were, you know, doing the family thing. Those of us who hadn't had children, were still going to the same pub that we all used to go to in our twenties, and we would sometimes hang out with and have fun with the 20 year olds in the pub, but not that much. Mainly we were just with ourselves and it was sort of getting a bit. Like tardy. I felt, I dunno, it just felt a bit sad. There was a handful of us left and we would still do lots of lovely things and I went to dance groups and you know, I'd go Zimber and I was going to yoga and, and you know, there was always loads of stuff going on and very work stuff mainly, you know, which wasn't work'cause it was creative, it was all being artists and everyone was being artists. We were always going to each other's private views and all that kind of thing. And then there were all the kids parties and events and you know, we did do stuff together. It definitely was less than here, which is. The age groups all hang out with each other, so it's completely unnoticeable here that I don't have children. I'm just in amongst people who do have children. There are children there as well hanging out at the pub, like we all socialize together and all of the age groups and all of the different people are there. So I spend as much time hanging out with 20 year olds and. 60, 70, 80 year olds, I'm hanging out with everyone. So today we went to the beach and there was a 19-year-old, a 24-year-old, I wanna say. A 38-year-old. 30, 30-year-old, 46, which was me, 24. And. I think that was over. Oh and yeah, God, I don't actually know how old Jan is. I would hazard guess 40 something. So you know, that was quite a range of ages and that was in the group that went down to durable and we just. Went down there today because it's a really low tide, so it's one of the harder beaches to get to. It's quite a steep climb and my thighs are gonna feel it tomorrow, although I'm in training for the pilgrimage. So it's a good thing to be. I'm, I'm just trying to be as active as I can at the moment, going out doing loads of adventure, start kayaking and just as much exercise as I can because the pilgrimage you do get fit quite quickly'cause you're walking, you're only walking 10 miles a day. So it's not grueling. But it's, uh, cumulative and when you, obviously you don't it for two months, it, you do feel it eventually, but also you. Building up stamina and, and fitness as you go, but it definitely helps to be fitter. I got quite ill the two times I've gone when I haven't been fit. This will probably be about the second fittest I've been, the first time I was in 2020, I was, I was doing lockdown, so there was nothing to do other than get fit. Uh, but I've been really active this summer, so I feel like I'm in a good place for it, which is nice. So going down to durable and doing that didn't feel arduous. It was like, oh, this is useful. It was free. I always love free exercise where you're not. It's not like paying to go to a gym or whatever. And Darville Beach is amazing. It's really big, giant Sandy Beach and it's got very cool caves. So there's a cave that's a cru. So Cru is spelled C-R-E-U-X. And our harbor, we've got Maline Harbor, which is the modern one, the one that's in use. And then Reer Harbor, which is still in use, but it's the Fisherman's Harbor and it's the old harbor. And KU means chimney. Uh, so when you have a cave where. Reef has fallen through. And so it's got a chimney looking up to the sky. That's a cru. And so Cru Harbor would've been one of these chimney caves at one point, and then it's fallen down and become the sort of natural bay that was used as the original harbor. And on Darbo Beach, there's a crow cave and it's awesome. And it's so beautiful'cause you've got all the stratas of rock and then you've got. Ferns and moss spilling down into the circle. It's just lovely. It's a really magical place. And we went down, we had a picnic, played Frisbee. Frisbee hit, someone just got off the boat. Someone who'd, um, come on their rear ball sailing boat or something and they just, yeah, they just got off their rib to get onto the shore and. Three women, and they literally were walking along, they were French, and we all watched in slow motion as this Frisbee just went smack into one of their faces. It was one of those moments that we were trying so hard not to laugh, but it just meant that we ended up laughing for ages because it was, it was really funny. We all tried to stop. Well, we didn't try. It was just one of those moments where we all just saw the same thing happen and there was nothing we could do about it. And yeah, it was funny. And, ash bought his inflatable kayak and me and him went kayaking out to all the way to, um, the chasm by the cupe, which has got three is this cave chasm complex with three exits, and normally one of them's underwater, which means that the water looks so turquoise'cause there's light shining underneath and it's stunning. But this, because it was such a low tide, it was a completely different look and feel to what I'm used to. And suddenly it was all really towering. And the bit that was normally underwater was this huge archway. And that's what I love about the coast here. It's, I go out almost every day on a kayak or swimming, and it's never the same coast twice because the tides are always different heights. And we've got the third biggest coastal tidal range in the world. And so our. It's just a different landscape every time. I love it and I, so that's one of the things like the social life never stays the same and the landscape never stays the same. And the things that come out and what happens in nature and the order that they come out is different every year as well. And so this year we've got some. Gorgeous ladies, girls that have come over. One is a carriage driver and one's just, um, moved over here hopefully permanently, and they're adorable and I love them and they've made my summer. And yeah, each year, like a couple of people might move over and you just end up spending the whole summer with them and you just have a little love affair, like a summer, friendship, romance, and, and then they're gone again. So it is cool because it's always moving and shifting. And it's really amazing, like it just doesn't stay the same every, and everyone who turns up changes the dynamics round slightly and new friendship, friendship groups form and yeah, like they're, I'm hanging out with people this summer who. Live here and who I've known for five years that I hadn't really hung out with before, and suddenly we're all hanging out because we've clicked with the new people or whatever. You know, there's always reasons for why it's all shifted around, but it doesn't stay static. It's not boring. Really cool. I love it. And yeah, just, yeah, really funny. Like last night turned up at, the senor put on a gig at his house last night, and it looked beautiful. Just, it's where we do Beltane Festival and there's fairy lights everywhere and it, it looks stunning. And the band that play every Wednesday at the old hall, who are the open mic bands, so it's all the locals who've started jamming together. And now I've got this little band going, they played and it was really like, it was really fun. I was working so I didn't get to go to it, but people really enjoyed it. And then I turned up. Right at the end because that's where all my friends were and my husband is, was there. So I met them to then go back to Ash's house and um, some of the band members came back, one of which is a teacher who I teach. I mean, I don't teach, so I'm, because I'm the chair of education, I'm his. Boss and yeah, it was just really fun to like hang out socially.'cause me and him had never actually hung out before and his daughter is amazing and I got really well with his daughter and it's just so lovely. Like you, you just, yeah, always find yourself in funny situations that you just, nowhere else in the world would any of that happen like nowhere else in the world? Would I be in the local authority or be a politician and be, you know, the equivalent of the Minister of Education in the UK and then like be hanging out with. A teacher who I employ, who's also in a band who's now hanging out with me in the house with the other band members. It was just funny. It doesn't happen anywhere else. And yeah, it's been a beautiful Sunday. So we spent the day down there, had a picnic, and then came back up again and I'm. I realized that it's a week till BoomTown, uh, only probably a few days ago, and it was a bit of a shock because I thought I had two or three weeks and then had to post the box of costumes to BoomTown. I'm a bit. Nervous about them not getting there in time. Uh, so they've gotta get there in a week. So hopefully that will happen. I'm scared of them getting lost. I just, I'm not gonna temp fate, but I'm nervous about what the costumes and then I also didn't realize, so I've got a week before BoomTown and we're opening BoomTown, that's all mega. And then. At BoomTown for a week, then I'm at Chem Well being a tutor for a week. So I had to also suddenly think, what do I do about my tutor costume and having a tutor costume ready to wear, and then I'm back for two weeks and then I'm on the pilgrimage for two months and I'm like okay. I don't have any money. What am I doing? I've not got any money. I'd applied for Arts Council funding to do this, and it's the fourth time I've submitted it and we haven't got it. And that's. Crazy when I, I've spent 20 years living as an artist through Arts Council funding. And I would get two outta three bids. And that was my normal, and that's what my whole 20 year career has been based on. When the pandemic hit, they grabbed or did a big net throw to try and capture as many artists as possible who had been commercially viable. So they hadn't applied for arts council funding because they were like my friends are in something that. Was like this, where they are trained classical musicians, and so they spend a lot of time, and they all live in London, and so they would go to Covent Garden and Busk, which actually made them loads of money. That was a really good way of making money. But they also had this amazing act where they would do theatrics whilst playing their instruments. So one show I saw them do was where they did the news on the telly. So it was almost like a, or no, it was like a whole day of tv. Programming. So they had like the morning TV and they had the news and they had all these different things, but it was all, oh, and sports. They went to the Olympics, but it was all done with them. Running around playing music with their instruments. So as they were doing the sports channel, they'd be like using their violins as badminton rackets or tennis rackets. And would do Wimbledon or yeah, they'd make things into shapes like the TV using the, the, um. Bows of the instruments and start doing the news. So they just, they played around and, and they would go into little skits and do a performance and then run around playing their instruments and it was really cool and it just did well. It was one of those things that. Got booked for places. It was funny. It was a bit fancy'cause it was, orchestral instruments and they're really good musicians. And then they'd also get booked for weddings and that kind of thing. So they just were commercially viable and they made money. Uh, they're called Bojangles. They're brilliant. Check them out. And they, didn't need arts council funding, but when the pandemic hit, it meant that there was no work for people like Bojangles. And so. Therefore they were encouraged to apply for funding from the Arts Council and because the funding that was uh, offered was pretty much the same as writing a normal funding bid. So all of the arts found out how to write an Arts Council bid, and I think that was probably the main obstacle for most people was that. If they were commercially viable, why would they bother doing that? But once they'd done it and they'd learn how to do it, and they'd all got funding, and you know, we kept afloat during the pandemic for that year or two through Arts Council. Now all of those people know how to write bids and the funding's been cut. And with AI and just generally the way the world. Is encouraging people to be. More and more people are like following their dream and becoming artists, but only people who can afford it. So it's wealthy artists. So I'm a bit annoyed and sced by the whole thing'cause I'm someone who hasn't got any money, who's been 46 years chugging away at this work and. Supported by Arts Council, but not the work that I do isn't sort of grand scale commercial. It would be, it'd be cool if it did become that, but I just don't ever sort of seem to fit into the mainstream enough for that to happen. I've, I've always been open to it and I. Like just put, putting stuff out there and it lands how it lands. I love there's a TED talk about genius and it says it's an ancient Greek way of seeing genius, which is, it's something that lands on you and you are, it rides you. So it's not about you. You just get ridden by this spirit, this thing, and. It's about, so what your job is as a mortal is to do the work, is to just turn up and do the work and put yourself out there. And if Genius chooses to land on you and ride you, then that's up to it. And what. I feel, and it's a bit like with all these things, like what's good or evil or what is genius or what is success? There are glimmers and moments of it all the time. So I've definitely had moments where I have been ridden by this spirit and I do all the time to be honest, like when I'm channeling or you know, when I'm leading the pilgrimage and we're just in ceremony for that whole time, and that was epic and that was a huge piece of work. Or when I'm writing my books, like it comes through all the time, but the level to which that. Reaches or whatever then happens with that is, is up to the universe. Like, I can only do my 50%. The universe has to do, its other 50%. And in many ways it's gone off and done huge things. Like many things that I've created, you know, I've created, um, protest movements like the clandestine insurgent rebel clown army circa that went viral, that went all over the globe. And I was part of the original team that created that. And that went huge. Like, you know. Done loads of things that have ended up being big old things. It's just whether at the end of the day, I've got a pension out of it. The answer is no. And here I'm at 46 with the Arts Council funding disappeared. So it's trying to like work out how to survive and make a living. Without that there, it's not a bad thing to be having to learn to do because you know, if it's not there to rely on, which it isn't anymore, then you just gotta. Get on with it, but it's annoying because I've applied for funding for the pilgrimage. This is the fourth time I've submitted the same bid. Like I tweak it each time to improve it, but there's no guarantee that when it comes back this time I'll get it. And that's the last opportunity I had to put it in. So I think I need to set up a crowdfunder, but ideally I wanted the crowdfunder to be to raise money for. Charity because obviously if we're walking that far, it would be good if it was raising money for charity, but I'm gonna probably need to do a, I need to pay my bills, like my rent while I'm away. Funding bit. Maybe, yeah, if I can like work out what the most basic budget is that I would need and then try and raise more than that, and whatever extra I raise will be for charity. But anyway, it's not ideal. Ideally, I would like to be fundraising for charity and the uh, arts Council will pay for the behind the scenes bit, but we'll see. So yeah, got a box of costumes in the poster. BoomTown got all these things happening that I haven't got the funds to cover and. So much stuff to do because I hadn't thought that it was also seen and it's mental. And like friends turning up and people who I really care about and love and wanting to spend time with'em because by the time I get back from them, pilgrimage. All of the seasonal workers are gonna have left. And my dear friend Cara, who's the reason why I moved over here, has been away for ages. And she's getting back tomorrow and she's gonna be back. And I, I have three weeks left till November on the island. And I've also gotta get all the government stuff that I'm involved in up to speed so that it's okay for me to be away. It's just mental. And I didn't, I didn't quite realize how soon it was all happening and. I'm having to trust the universe. But I like that because this is a good lesson because it is, it's what the pilgrimages have taught me and it's what I don't, it is I always, you know, I always do this one foot either side. It's not necessarily a Wawa thing, although I actually partly believe it is. So personally, I believe that it is just the things that I've had happen from the universe. It's felt bequeathed to me. It's felt like gifts. It really has, you know, meeting Dez after that first pilgrimage felt like a gift. And living here and ending up in sk, it feels like a gift. There are so many things that feel like gifts from the land and from reality that I'm like, thank you very, very, very, very much, and I'm so grateful for all of it. And. Trusting the process with all this because I, I want to see my friends and people that I love. Like today was beautiful. I, I managed to get a big chunk of work done before I left this morning, and then went and had a gorgeous day, and now I'm here. Getting bits of work done and it's about not getting head up really and getting stressed about it because same with the funding and the box getting there in the post. You just gotta trust the universe. Even if something goes wrong, it's believing that it's all gonna work out okay. And that's the bit, that doesn't have to be Wawa because it, that's about just not panicking, keeping your nervous system. I always forget the word relaxed, but that's not the word. Stable, not the word. Oh, whatever the word is. You know what it is. Uh, it I'll, it'll come to me in a minute. Oh, that's annoying. Yeah, staying calm and just trusting that it will, it will work out fine anyway. If things go wrong and you have to find another route round or do things differently, then it'll always end up being better or lead to something else, so it's, it's all fine. And I. I'm quite excited. Well, no, I'm not quite excited. I'm extremely excited about where things are heading with what we're doing at BoomTown this year. This is a secret, I'm gonna tell you because. I feel like I have knowledge of most of my listeners and I think it would be fine for me to share this, but so BoomTown, this year, the storyline, I'm not as excited by as I have been in previous years in terms of, I, I feel like there's so much going on in the world at the moment that is vital and the things that happened in the last two years felt like this huge, like turning point. It felt like a. A thing was about to happen and. It feels a little bit like a filler in terms of, um, you know, if you have like a TV series, there are episodes that really move the plot along and then there's the odd episode where it feels a bit like a filler. And yeah, I feel a little bit like that this year. It's still great. I love it all. Obviously I love all of it, but it's made me want to be really proactive and disruptive in what I. Do. But then that's cool because that's also how I feel in the world at the moment. And there's this thing that we have in fooling, which we call, put it in the play. So if you are annoyed with someone having a difficult time with someone in the group that you're working with theatrically, instead of arguing in the changing room and putting all the drama into the rehearsal space or the dressing room, put the drama. On the stage and use all the feelings that you have about that person in your performance, and you put it in the play and it's really cathartic and it means that most actors and performers tend not to be very dramatic people in their everyday lives because they're doing it in a theatrical, creative space. And I love that. I've had so many experiences where I've. I mean, the first time I did it, this was before I even did fooling. It's when I was a drama group, when I was a teenager, when I was 13, 14, 15, my darling daddy had an affair with my drama teacher, the woman who ran the drama group that we went to, and we found out and. Knew but hadn't told him yet. And my drama teacher didn't know that we knew and we put together an improvisation with our mates. So we told our mates what was happening and we put this improvisation together where one of my friends played my dad, and then we all stood in a circle and we all told him exactly what we thought of him as characters in this play and. It was, uh, yeah, it was great. My drama teacher ran out crying. We were like, eh, and then at Kentwell as well, with the mama's plays, we've used mama's plays to comment on things that we're annoyed about or that we think are being dealt with badly, or, yeah, anything that was a, we felt a bit rubbish. We would do a play about it and take the mickey out of it and point out how stupid it was. And so, yeah, I'm used to using theater as a way of. Expressing my discontent and what I'm gonna do with our La Luna Coven venue this year is turn it into a kind of French resistance. So I heard this amazing talk the other day by Rob Hopkins who wrote From What is To What If, and created Transition Towns. And I'm really inspired by his work and it's what inspired BoomTown last year. So it felt apt that this sort of came from him. And he was talking about someone who'd written a book on the French resistance and. Was talking about how, how will you find the courage to do something like that and what those sort of people are like. And the guy who'd written the book was like, well, overall they were extremely optimistic and that I loved.'cause it was like, oh yeah, if you're coming from that's. That's the way to do it. You come from this place of just total optimism that no, we can do this, we can change this, we can overthrow what's going on, and we can make a difference. And we've just gotta resist. You've gotta resist it. And that's absolutely where I'm at. And so I like the idea also there's a big thing in the spiritual world of spiritual bypassing where spiritual people would rather not speak out and say what side they're on with things because they. They, you know, are spiritual, but it's mainly'cause they don't want to lose followers or I guess there is an element of the witch wound as well. I think probably'cause I am feeling that, I'm feeling vulnerable. I feel very vulnerable in terms of, I, I, I'm, I've made it clear which side of the fence I'm on. As someone who's putting my neck out saying I'm a witch, and I'm in my power and I'm an outspoken woman, and all that kind of thing, it doesn't normally go well for us, especially if you find yourself the wrong side of the fence, it's normally quite a good reason and excuse to, to do horrible things to you. So I, I feel vulnerable in a way that I didn't in 2020 when I first started being like, I'm a wedge, like really publicly and, and changed my. Creative focus to be more this direction than like fringe theater, which is what I was doing before it at that point in time. It just felt like a huge empowering thing and it felt like the goddess was rising and yeah, it just, there was, it kind of felt like things were moving in a really good direction at that point and them. The way that it's gone in the last year, like this year, and all the mad astrology that's happening this year, it just suddenly feels dangerous to have put myself here. It's been done now and again, it's trusting the universe. This is where I'm meant to be. This is what I'm meant to be doing. And to just go, well, fuck it. I've done it now, so let's just put my foot flat down on the pedal and drive full Pel at that. F whatever that thing is in front of me because it, that thing in front of me that's on fire and is heading towards a wall anyway, you know it, the whole thing is heading towards destruction anyway, so might as well get involved. I'm just like, ah, oh, well, it's just. Let's just put your hands in the air and scream whilst on the rollercoaster ride, but be right at the front and yeah, just go for it. So I'm gonna do that in BoomTown and that, that feels so exciting. It's that I'm gonna put that energy into BoomTown and have this whole resistance thing going on. So what normally would be this sacred space that you go into? We are gonna turn it into a, like French resistance space where we are asking the people who come in to oh yeah. And I've created a time machine, um, a crystal time machine where. You can only use it so many times and then it will crack. And so we have used it twice so far and we've gone back in time and we've seen the neolithic people using the, the bowl. That is the space where BoomTown is the land where it is, which happens to be on the spine of Albion lay line. And the Ellen energy line runs through it. And it's this magical place that if you listen to the earlier podcasts, you'll hear that Jonathan K, who's my falling teacher, actually got the license for that. Bowl to have a festival in it. So he got the festival license because he knew that it was a land temple and it was a sacred space where this energy pools and that people would go there and, and fill themselves up with this pool of energy and have festivals and celebrations there. So pull that into it. We're gonna draw that into it and say that we went back in time and we've seen these neolithic celebrations and we'll dream into what we think. They look like. And then we'll say, and we went to the future and we won. And it's amazing and the future's incredible. And we'll like make up a load of stuff about how great the future is and why we loved it. And then we'll say, but the, the'cause the chapter this year, the theme of this year's BoomTown is the power of now. So we'll then say, but we don't wanna keep using the crystal'cause we've, we dunno how many goes we've got before it'll crack. It feels like probably one more go or something. And. So what we are trying to work out is how do we get from here, from now to the future that we've envisaged. So this thing, you know, there'll be some steps. There's things that we need to put in place to make sure that that happens. We'll have a sheet on the wall with, you know, when you have bits of string, like an murder mystery thing, and you've got the police officers trying to work out who did it, and they have all the bits of string and images up on the wall. We're gonna do that. And then also have a load of cardboard and brown tape and, uh, sharpies and make cardboard buildings and stuff where we'll ask the people who come in to build, like, what would you love to see in BoomTown? What would be your perfect town to live in? What would it include? And for people to build it out of cardboard and explain what they are and stuff, and then put things up on the wall explaining it. And then we make this cardboard version of BoomTown that's like our dream BoomTown with this dream future or how to get to the dream future on the wall. And then we're gonna give that all to BoomTown at the end of it and be like, here's all the ideas that the visitors had about a perfect future, but also it'll be reflecting the world at large. Like, we'll be thinking about the. The bigger picture. It's just great using the metaphor of Boone Town to do that. And yeah, for us to just be resisting and be like, you know, we'd love to just be here wafting and being priestess and having a lovely spiritual time, but we've gotta do shit. We've gotta do something about this situation because it's all going wrong and we can't, we can't just stand by and not let. Not do anything about it. And so that's what we'll be saying, and I'm just really excited. I'm really excited that we've figured out what we're doing. Uh, it was from a brilliant intention setting meeting that we had for the Leo Dark Moon, and then the Leo Dark Moon ceremony was great as well. I find Leo Energy extremely empowering. I love it. And so, yeah, feeling empowered and excited, and I'm trusting the universe and trusting that things will unfold as they should, and that all will be well. And yeah, I can't wait to go on the pilgrimage. I can't wait to be in that liminal, kairos time space. I'm so looking forward to it. So I've only got, that's a good point, podcasts as well. I'd really like to try and carry on doing the podcast while I'm on the pilgrimage, but it's just probably not feasible. I will attempt it. I've got some microphones coming through and I have. Learn to and done podcasts on the road. It is possible, and it'd be cool if I did do it but I might not be able to. So we were like. Set up expectations to be. Maybe I could do them every other week or something like that, but we'll see. We'll see how it goes because I don't wanna spend all my time on my phone and it does take a lot of time to do, but maybe I could upload just an interview or something. It might just be that it can't be quite as formatted and maybe I could go back and format them later when I'm at my computer. But yeah, we'll see. It is doable. It's just I don't wanna spend all my time on my phone when I'm walking. But it would also be good to capture stuff, so we'll see. Yeah. I'm gonna pull a room. If you enjoy this podcast, then please consider supporting me on Patreon, which is patreon.com/jolie Rays this. Is a way for you to support the work that I'm doing. So all of the things that I'm trying to fund and support happening at the moment would be great. If you were to become a monthly supporter and patron of the arts, that would be fantastic. That's a way that you can help me but also I will be. Sharing about doing some sort of, I,'cause there's two fundraising things that I, well actually sort of three, three fundraising things that I'd like to do. Uh, but one of them is in two. So one of them is fundraising to cover bills for the pilgrimage, but also to raise money for charity. Almost certainly Gaza. Direction. But I need to find out or figure out how, because I know things aren't even getting through. So I'd have to look into the best way of doing that. And then also I do need to fundraise and. Develop the Kickstarter for my book launch, but I need to fine tune and get clear about exactly when the launch is happening. But it, it is for getting the pre-sales, hopefully it'll be for Christmas and to get the pre-sales from doing a Kickstarter and then some funds to just pay for an illustrator to do the maps.'cause I think it would be great to have maps with the book. But basically the book is done, which is exciting. And uh, it's with Dan Sump, who I interviewed on the podcast. He's my publisher, so he's gonna look through it. I dunno whether he, it's, it's us trying to fit in time-wise when we can do things. But, uh, watch this space. So. These are just heads up that they will be happening. If you would be able to vote for this podcast if you love it and enjoy it, which I hope you do. If you could go onto the podcast awards, there is a listeners choice award. You just type in nonsense in the chaos and then reply to the. A confirmation email that gets sent to you. It's as easy as that. So you just type in nonsense in the chaos and it'll come up. So if you could do that, that would be awesome. I would thoroughly appreciate that. And then, yeah, just come and see if you're at BoomTown, come and see me. I'll be doing the opening ceremony on the lines gate stage. So. We'll be blessing the crowd at the start of the opening ceremony. So come along and see that. Then come to our venue and be part of the resistance and help us design a better future. And then I'll be at Kewell Hall in Suffolk in Long Melford the week after BoomTown being a tutor. So if you live in East Anglia and you fancy coming along to that and do come and say hello. Then I'll be back in the Channel Islands for two weeks, Vail Earth Festival. Just going along to enjoy that. So I'll have a boogie with you if I see you there. And then two months walking across the country. And if you go onto career arts. Instagram or Facebook, there's a list of the dates of where we're walking and uh, if you're anywhere along the Michael Line walking from Cornwall to the Norfolk coast and you'd like us to stop and perform for you, or you'd like to host us or feed us or just hang out and walk with us for a bit, get in touch. It's all available. It's all possible, and it'll be lovely to see you. So thank you so much. And now on with the show. Oh, it's the fool. So it's the blank room. So the blank re, I think of as the Fool, because it is like a zero. It's a round ruin with nothing on it. So it's like the zero, which. The fool is the top of the tarot deck and is everything and nothing. It's the infinity symbol unfilled. So the infinity symbol, as I've talked about in many other podcasts, the out world's Infinite, the inner world's Infinite. Then you've got this sphincter in the middle, which is your ego, and that's what everything's passing through. So you are having this experience of a subjective individual life, but really. When you untwist and you become one with everything, like children are like, toddlers are like one is when you are really in the moment and genius is riding you and you're fully in the flow and something else is coming through and your inner and outer have become one world, then that is the fall and it's trusting the unknown. It's trusting the universe. And that's what this whole journey has been for me, for life, is to just keep stepping off that cliff into the unknown and trusting it. So whatever happens. Trusting it. And it's funny'cause it's Mercury retrograde at the moment and it does make things go wrong. Like, Starlink went down on the dark moon night and it went down globally and I was like right in the middle of doing the intention setting ceremony for BoomTown and then had a dark moon ceremony as well that evening and that, so it was the one night that really wasn't helpful for it to go down and. That's just Mercury retrograde, just, but you just gotta be chill with it. And again, like I was born on a Sunday, I was born in a Mercury, I was born in during Mercury retrograde. And I actually prefer that time. And it's, I feel more akin to Kairos time. So there's Kronos, which is chronological time, which is what we're all used to living in. It's patriarchal linear time. And then kairos time is perfect timing. And that's when you just. Don't bother thinking about time, and I'm trusting that, that's, it feels like Mercury retrograde for me, feels ROI and it, and I feel more magical within it. And so. Yes, I've got a million things that I need to do before I go away on either BoomTown or Kewell or the pilgrimage, and I'm trusting it, including going and spending the day down in durable because for some reason it will all just fit together and it'll fit in and it'll be fine. Whereas if I freak out about it and I try and, if I go into that Kronos state or that stressed, nervous system, place regulated, that was the word, an unregulated nervous system state Then. Everything will go wrong anyway, and I won't get stuff done. But by being relaxed and being regulated and trusting the universe and trusting the flow, then everything will just click together and I'll get as much done as I can. But I'll be much more efficient and enjoy doing things I'm doing rather than it be a stress. I'm happy to be doing this podcast. I love doing these podcasts. I don't want to be stressing about it. Oh, I've got such an awesome interview lined up. So the interview next week is the Seed Sisters who are my. Dear Friends and Heroes, and I recorded that. So I'm gonna edit that and have these uploaded so they come out while I'm away. And then I'll make some podcasts while I'm away of BoomTown and Kentwell, which I'll be very excited to share with you when I get back. So, yeah, I'm gonna put the prerecorded interview up at the Sea Sisters. Ah, they're so. Cool. They are two of the most cool people in the world and I adore them, so I can't wait to share that with you. Ah, it's gold. And I'm really excited and I love the one with Ray as well. I really enjoyed interviewing Ray. He's such a dude, so lots of amazing things coming up and interviewing people at Kentwell. Looking forward to that. So it's just. It just trusting that everything's gonna be great. I'm about to have a lovely time. It's all gonna be wonderful. Things will fit into place and all will be well. And it's just trusting that and pulling the full room is about as good as it gets. It's just saying yes, step off that cliff into the unknown and trust. I had a wonderful moment once where I my family get. Are obsessed with cults like we've joined loads of cults. I've been in, I mean, I've been, my parents met at a cult that was in the newspaper and stuff for being a cult, and the guy who married them was in the newspaper for being a cult leader, but they were a Christian prayer group called the Christian Crusaders. So it wasn't, it wasn't a proper cult like it really was. I mean, none of the cults, actually, one of them is a proper cult that I've been in. But yeah, so that wasn't a proper cult. And then people have often called the Tudor thing, Kentwell Hall, a cult. Uh, the fools have often been referred to as a cult. Our pilgrimage group started seeming quite culty and then. The one that was a proper one was Landmark Forum, which, uh, actually was a, you know, you paid money and it was known for being a cult. And it got closed at one point and then it changed its name and became landmark Education. It was called Forum before that. But that I really enjoyed. I got a lot out of it and I didn't actually spend any money on it. My family, my parents paid for me to do it because they wanted me to do it. And I was like, well, if you're gonna pay for me to do it, that's fine. But, uh, yeah, we all got a lot out of it because we all share a language now of a way of being able to talk about proper things. You know, actually having the language for emotions and the emotional landscape is really useful when you and your friends and family. All have the same vocab. It's brilliant. Uh, and because we did all do it, loads of us did it. There was a whole group of us that did it. Friends as well as family. We just are able to cut through. You know, I'm, I can get a message from my mom's boyfriend who I've only met twice and they've been together something mental, like 18 years and. He can say to me through my mom, oh, you are running a racket on this person and he'll be completely right and I'll get what he's saying and that's all I need him to say. And so he can help me and give me advice and support. L with just a sentence because we understand what each other's talking about. So I thorough enjoyed that. But it was really hard to leave because it was all about being enrolled. And if you didn't enroll in the next course or stay involved, then it was always questioned as to whether you were blocking or running a racket. That was what they, they'd say you were running a racket on, on the coal, on landmark education, so it was difficult to leave and people would ring you up and try and. Engage you and enroll you, inspire you to stay in it. So I. Wanted to go to drama school. And that's what I got from doing the course was, oh yeah, I'm gonna go to drama school. That's what I'm gonna do. And so when they then rang me up, I then enrolled them in the idea of me going to drama school, which took up all my time and was gonna take up all my money. And there was just no way that I could do any courses whilst doing that. And I'd be doing it for two years and they. Were inspired by it and they agreed and they went, yeah. All right then. Yeah. Okay. I, yeah, that's, you are going off to live your dream. So they let me go, which was awesome. But I was right in the middle of a course when that happened and it was quite a big, it was one of the, it was quite far up the pyramid scheme and I'd already booked some, like the work, the, like the weekend workshops that were part of this course, were all over the world and so we were meant to be going to Tel Aviv at the time. I never went there, which it would've been interesting to have done in light of everything that's gone on of late. It would've been interesting to have gone there. Uh, so one of them was in Tel Aviv and one was in Amsterdam and I had already booked the hotel and everything for that weekend for Amsterdam. So I went. Anyway, uh, my family were there as well. My dad and mum were on the same course and were there. They went and did the course and I went and had a lovely weekend going to a film festival. There was a documentary festival running and I saw amazing documentaries. It was brilliant. I really enjoyed the festival and I went and saw the Van Gogh Museum and just had a lovely time. But I met up with the course people. At a cafe and someone had this tarot deck that was a zen tarot deck, and 12 people in a row shuffled the cards and pulled what was the fool card in this pack. But the card was zen and it was this like. Kind of Buddha who just found enlightenment and was completely zen and that was the zero card in this particular tarot day. And 12 people in a row from this course pulled that card, shuffling it and you know, doing everything to make sure it wasn't. A trick or you know, because it was being badly shuffled. They, it was, people were doing it properly and 12 people in a row pulled the card, the Zen card, and then it got handed to me and I could feel everyone's expectation that I wasn't gonna pull it. And I blooming, pulled it and it was like one of those drop the mic moments. I was like, yep, and I'm gonna leave. And it's. Fine that I'm leaving and I'm fully in the same zone as you, but I'm gonna go off and do drama school instead. And that's how I managed to get out of the cult. But that's how I feel about. Just the, yeah, trusting the unknown and what the full card means is, it's such a powerful card. It really is. Let everything go, just trust the process. Trust it, and I love it when synchronicities and magic happen. It just feels wonderful, whether it's, whether it means anything, whether it's in any way, Wawa, I don't care. It just makes life exciting and. Gives you a good story like that one and makes you feel like you're doing the right thing, makes your nervous system feel regulated and just feels like you're in the right place and you're doing the right thing. So pulling that, having just said all the things I've said and what we're planning to do and what's going on, and trusting that all will be well, like it doesn't mean that I'll get the funding bid, it doesn't mean the costumes will arrive safely, but whatever does happen to trust it and just go with it. And so that brings us onto the Chaos Crusade. For the Chaos Crusade this week, I invite you to follow signs and omens for a day. So intentionally from the moment you wake up to when you go to bed, follow the signs. Follow the messages that are coming through and. You know, if, if it's telling you to take a day off or telling you to walk a different route'cause you see a bird land or just, you know, if you hear something on the radio or you see a number that means something to you to follow it, to see where that might lead you's, to really look for the messages that are coming through from the universe. It's all, you know, I'm not saying that it's true or that it's literally happening, but just to see what happens to your day. When you spend a day doing that following signs that means something to you, like your favorite color or music that you like or whatever it is, just spend a day following the signs and I'd love to hear what happens. So please get in touch and share if you do do it. And something interesting occurs because I find that it does. And it is because we are meaning making machines, which is a landscape, a landmark term that we are meaning making machines, but we are meaning making machines and that's part of what we are as humans. And we look for patterns. And so we will find things and they will excite and tantalize us and trigger imagination and trigger. Emotions. And that's the lovely thing. So when you are not doing this, you just sort of end up with blinkers and you are distracted and you are not being present. So that's the main thing I think that happens when you are following signs and you are being led by the universe and you are letting that happen, is that you are a lot more present. And when you, you're more present, you are more in tune, you are more ninja. Like you're just more in the flow and. And I do think it helps regulate your nervous system.'cause when you're not doing that, you are in your head and you're in your thoughts and that's when you tend to hit yourself up and get heady about things and worry. Worrying about a problem is like trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum as the great sunscreen song says, ma Lemons, uh, wear sunscreen My Bible song. Yeah. Why be in your head and worry about things when you can be present, follow the signs, follow the omens, and trust the universe and have a game of, let's see what's going on. By being actually fully here, the power of now, which is what the theme of BoomTown is this year. The power of now I, I am, I am inspired by what's going on. It's just, I just feel like, yeah, I felt like something could have happened more than what. Is happening. But you know, it's no disrespect I love Beam Town, I love everything they do. It's a wonderful thing. But I, yeah, I was a bit disappointed and gonna do something about it. Gonna go as will probably everybody else, you know, it'll still turn into something epic. But yeah, I just. Wanted to see something a bit more, uh, flipping the script and mind bending happen. I was expecting something a bit more mind bending. So let's do it ourselves. If it's not the script you want and it's not as mind bending as you'd like it to be, then it's your job to make it. So, and that is what we're gonna do. So thank you so much for being here and I really hope that you are inspired to flip the script and. Pump things up yourself. This Leo energy is ferocious and fantastic. I love it. So use that rocket up your bum to do something mega over the next six months.'cause the Leo Dar moon connects to the Leo full moon, which is in the other end of the year, the other half of the year. So six months from now. So this what you're setting now, the intentions and the direction that you're setting now is a trajectory that. We'll drive you forwards for the next six months. So let's, let's fucking smash some shit up and do some madness and cover it in glitter and all the other things. Let's step off that cliff into the unknown and create something mega. Huge, huge love to you. I can't wait to share next week's episode with you, and then I can't wait to share what happens on the adventures into the unknown and into these mad spaces. We'll see what happens. I'm sure it's gonna be bloody marvelous. So until next time, see the anon.