#34 Schrodinger's Reality

In this week’s episode of Nonsense in the Chaos, I explore the idea that we each hold the power to shape our own reality. Using the metaphor of a single pixel in a vast image, I delve into how tending to your own light—your energy, your choices, your presence—can influence not only your personal world but the collective picture we’re all creating together. This episode invites you to reflect on how to make your pixel shine as brightly and vibrantly as possible, and how, in doing so, you open the door to manifesting any reality you can imagine.  

The music and artwork is by @moxmoxmoxiemox

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Transcript

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The. Welcome to The Nonsense in the Chaos. I'm your host Jolie Rose. Last night we held a online moon ceremony for the Libra of Full Moon, and this was a really special moon for me because Libra is ruled by Venus and I'm ruled by Venus. She's my archetype and. Venus Station Direct as well on Sunday, which is a very unusual astrology signature. for a planet to station direct at the same time as the moon goes full in the sign that this planet rules is really unusual and it's felt like. An empowering moment for the fem, the feminine the response to the Aries energy and the Mars energy that we had earlier in the year. the astrology at the moment is just crazy. Is there any way to put it? Especially when you're looking at the world stage and what's playing out on the world stage, and then how the astrology is. Mirroring it or it fits, is the way to put it. And we have, so we had the moment that Venus started going retrograde, and the last time this had happened with her going retrograde in Aries was the last time that Trump got in. And when she started to go retrograde was when Trump's inauguration happened. So both times were Trump's inaugurations, and that's quite amazing that was the case. And Venus had gone retrograde in Aries, which Mars had been retrograde in Aries earlier. So Mars was retrograde in Aries and it was like the absolute, most toxic masculinity you can get, Mars being retrograde in Aries is. All of the masculine being as, yeah, as awful as it can basically. And then you had Venus then responding to it with Mercury alongside her. And Mercury is the planet of communication. And so it's a bit like a megaphone supporting whatever's happening with amplifying the messaging or the messaging that's getting out. So we had Venus going retrograde with Mercury alongside, and so whatever, like the demonstrations and everything's been amplified with the support of Mercury. And then on Sunday Saturday night, one in the morning, so technically Sunday Venus directs at the same time as me going full. So it felt like this real moment of reclamation and. Surging of feminine power and yeah, just, it's a key moment and I had a really. Very powerful moon ceremony and also came on my bleed. And so today I am very fuzzy. I'm very fuzzy, and it's just taken me ages to get myself together, to do this, to do the recording. Today, it's Monday and that's really late for me to be doing the recording, and then I've got a really busy week ahead of me, but this is the moment I can do it. My aunt and uncle are over. And it's been lovely to have them here because it has coincided with my bleed and the moon, which is an opportunity for me to stop and not be quite so focused on the government and belting arrangements. it's been good. They've all happened at the same time because I've had a couple of days of doing lovely touristy things with my aunts and uncle and moon ceremonies and eating nice food and things like that. So that's all worked out rather well. And I took my uncle to the Dolman today in Little Suck and I took them to D Harwood and they saw the blue bells. The blue bells were in full swing. I've never seen so many blue bells. It's this is a bumpy year. I'm hoping they'll all still be here for the festival they might have gone over, but you can't control nature. Nature will do what she wants and yeah. I did this ceremony last night and it felt really special and the focus was on'cause Libra is the scales, but rather than it being balance, I feel like it's about your heart being as light as a feather. So it's not about judgment, it's about clarity. And we did a meditation last night where I led the. Participants into a, into the Great pyramid the Great Pyramid Chamber, central chamber, and went down into this dark space and it glowed with the green light of the Cyrus and reentered his chamber. And the Cyrus was there and he had the feather and an UBA stepped out from the shadows with the jackal head, and he held the scales out in front and. Cyrus placed the feather on the scale and then we all reached our hands to our hearts and took our hearts out as glittering red jewels covered in facets. And we placed that on the other half of the scale. And I asked to observe whether your heartfelt as light as a feather and if it doesn't what needs taking out so that it does, so we. Stroked along the facets and they became petals rose petals, black rose petals. And we took them off the scale and acknowledged what they were. For me, my three rose petals were, always being money and time scarce. I'm always busy and I'm always skin, and it has been this way for 20 years. It's been this way since I was a child, since I left home, and my circumstances are completely different now. I live in a different place, different surroundings. My work's changed, and yet I'm still in the same situation and I feel the same. So the constant is me. I took that petal and I put it in my hand, and then I took the next petal, which was people pleasing and fomo, feeling left out feeling misunderstood, not being liked, which has been an unusual experience. That has really only happened since I moved here because in the UK I've done a very good job of only surrounding myself with like-minded people and yeah, people who have my back and who thought I was great and were friends basically, who were vibrating on the same frequency as me and then moved to here where we are a real mixed bag of people and it's challenging'cause you are sometimes, in amongst people that don't get on with you and. Just friendship groups move around all the time and people can be really bitter and twisted and beige and they have to. Yeah, you just have to navigate it all and it's interesting, but it's constant and there's enough people that are exciting and fun and interesting and colorful and sparkly for it all to be fine, but you are not able to avoid those that don't fit your tribe. We are all here together and, yeah, it's interesting. I feel like if I was a man. I would be liked more. Part of it is that I'm a woman and it's a very chauvinistic place. So yeah, if I was a man, the girls would love me here, but because I'm a woman, the girls really don't like me. They find me threatening, so that's fine. It's just the way it is and I don't care. So I took that rose petal off. I do care. That's why I took the rose petal off'cause it does weigh on my heart. And the last one was, yeah, my kind of. The fight that I'm in, which is a good thing and I don't wanna not be doing it, but it also does weigh on me'cause it's tiring and it takes out of me. And that is the fractal ness of the world. So there, I can't reach Trump, but there are Trump elements in the world in front of me. There are people that are using his tactics that are. Using his language that are following his lead and they are in front of me. So no, I can't reach Trump it seems, but I can negotiate with fight against work to bring around those in front of me who have his energy fractally flowing through them. And this is what I think. We all should think about doing and concentrate on is the bigger picture is overwhelming and a distraction purposefully but in front of you there are elements of all of the bigger picture, all of the, it is fractal. All of the facets of the big jewel are all a in you. There's a bit of Trump in all of and also in the world that we are creating around us.'cause we create our worlds. So we have created an element of Trump in the world around us and for us to work with that. How do we feel about that? What do we wanna, how do we wanna challenge it? How do we wanna stand up against it? Have we the capacity to do that? How can we develop the capacity to do it? How do we do it? it's a puzzle, but I took that pedal off and so I've jumped ahead.'cause basically I took the pedals off and they were black pedals, the things that were weighing my heart. So you kept doing that until the scales were balanced. And then I took those pedals with me and I stepped out of the pyramid and into the light, and they turned to these jeweled red petals. And they, and it was that these were our medicine. So they're our medicine. How do we work with these? So with the money, the scarcity of time and money. Petal. Either I need to do something about it and change the way I live my life because I've always lived my life this way and or own it. Own the fact that this is the way I exist. That I am always, I, so I had a really interesting conversation, my uncle today at the Doman. So the Doman was built at the same time as the pyramids and it's Neolithic, 1500 BC and we sat there and he said I've just always known that I'm not gonna be rich. And I had that conversation with your aunt, when we got married. I said, if you're hoping to get rich, then don't bother marrying me.'cause that's not happening. I'm not about money, I don't care about money. I just want to be able to be safe and secure and have a family and to be able to look after them. That's all I want. I don't want more than that. I just wanted to live a nice life and have fun and enjoy myself, and he's been a musician all his life and he's had a good time and they get on really well. They've had a lovely relationship. They've got three awesome kids, my cousins who are brilliant and are brilliant fun and are living their best lives, and they did it. They did exactly what they set out to do, which is really wonderful. And it was interesting because I realized that actually part of me had always thought that I was gonna get rich because I've shot for the stars. I've always shot for the stars from they dot. I've always been exceptionally lucky, but I also 100% thought I was gonna be famous and I thought I was gonna be a successful famous artist. And that's. What I was aiming for. I still am. I always will be. That's in me to own that part of myself, that I will always be aiming for that. But the reality is that I'm not that and because I'm not that I've got to live an amazing life. I haven't been trolled, I haven't been, at the center of any controversy, I've never felt threatened. I've just been having the most balmy life, and I have and my uncle said today, he's the memories at the end of your life are, are are the real riches. Like you could have all the money in the world and have had a really banal, unpleasant, boring life. And so money doesn't buy you memories, money doesn't buy you. Ridiculous situations. I've been in so many absolutely hilarious, ridiculous situations where I'm just like, even by my standards, that was mental and that's happened to me. I. Nonstop my whole life. And that's wonderful. And I love it. I love having mad experiences and some of them have been from hedonism, some of them have been from theater, some of them have been from traveling living on a mad lit island where I'm suddenly in the government. It's just. Ongoing. And it's'cause I keep saying yes to life and I wish that I got to live a million lives and I only get this one, so I'm gonna live it to the max. So that means I will always be time scarce and busy and exhausted and I am poor and I will always be poor. I'm not gonna get rich. That's not gonna happen. Not really. I mean it might, but I'll keep living. Into it. I'll keep shooting for the stars because it seems to do a good job of getting me into funny situations. So I'll keep that up. But it's just, there's something quite relaxing about owning the fact that I'm. Skin and that's that it was just, yeah, it felt relaxing to take that. So yeah, it's taking these petals and owning it as medicine. It's the same with the FOMO or people not liking you. One of the most useful bits of medicine that I heard in recent years was that you can't control other people's feelings and that you are not responsible for them and. That was a revelation to me because I'd just got out of a toxic marriage where he absolutely convinced me. And yeah, I basically spent 13 years being told that I was responsible for his feelings and I was doing everything I could to try and make him feel good. And. Nothing I did worked. And then when I heard someone say, you are not responsible for someone else's feelings. You are not in control of them, you can't control them. It was such a revelation because I was like, of course I can't. And I tried really hard and that was up to him. It was up to him to stay forever upset and angry and sad and all the things that he felt like it was horrible to witness. And I didn't want him to feel like that. But I couldn't do anything about it, and I tried so hard, and I am here to tell you, you can't do anything about it. Like it, no matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried, I always let him down. It was never good enough. He had to, at some point decide to be happy and to make himself happy. And I couldn't do it. And that was brilliant. That was a revelation. And it's to keep. Learning that and remembering that and absorbing that. In my life here, if people have got a beef with me or don't like me or whatever, then that's up to them. It's totally their thing. I can't do anything about it, and there's no point bending over backwards or trying to please them and trying to win them over. Just, it's their, that's their problem. It's not your problem. Just get on with your own life. And then, and also you, most of the time you're guessing that's how they feel anyway. You've got no idea what's actually going on in their world. stop bothering with all of that. What other people think of you is not any of your business. And the last one. The fight. Yeah. This fractal thing. It's important. I want to learn how to stand up against. Authority that I, that feels dominating and domineering and threatening. I want to stand up against fascism. I want to stand up against patriarchy and injustice and inequality and unfairness, and I'm doing it on a small scale right in front of me, in my tiny little rock, in my tiny little government, and it feels like, I'm doing what I can here. Where I am and that will feed through the mycelium network of the cosmos to reach the, what feels like the top of the tree. But it's all one anyway, the tree's all one thing, so it might feel like I'm down in the roots, but it's still part of the tree. And actually the roots are what feed to the tree. What's right in front of me I need to work with, and and I'm doing it. I'm doing it. So with all of it is owning it. This is the medicine. These are your quests. The quests die on question. What questions you are asking. What things that keep you up at night? The things that are troubling you, they are the quests that you are on. So these petals are the things that make my heart feel heavy, but they're also the medicine because these are the challenges in the game that you are playing, which is the game of life. To take them and to hold them and for them to be your medicine is really a key thing. So that was lovely. And then I had a sherah date with the ladies my darling friend Lee, who passed away in 2020. Sand crab. He was a little sand crab next to me, which I have next to me to always think about him. And he was a beautiful gay. gorgeous, glittery, sweaty little man who I loved dearly. And he used to do this thing called a sherah date, where him on his own or with his best friend Ro, they would have a little date night where they would just get completely off their heads and dance around the bedroom like you did as a teenage girl, singing songs and making up dance routines and just entertaining themselves and just loving their own company. And this is something that I really enjoy doing. I enjoy doing sherah dates. Doing these podcasts is a bit like doing a sherah date. It's me. Talking to myself in a room just like la and I love that you are here listening to me having this mad conversation. And I never, I mean, I didn't really know what I was gonna talk about tonight. Like I, I. I sometimes try and plan what I'm doing, but especially today, I was just so fuzzy. I just thought well, I'm I'm just just gonna go for it and I'll light some incense. I've got some rose scented incense. I've got flowers behind me from the garden that all pink and red. And last night we did the same. We drank cacao and ate rose flavored chocolate. And I've got my rose scent ink and I was doing some scrying where you get a bowl of milk and then I'm dropping my red rose cent ink into it and forming a pattern. And I'm teaching myself to do this'cause I'm really good at. Divination with tarot and ruins. So I know what it feels like. You're, you are not letting your conscious mind get in the way. You are just saying what what you see and feel. Because we feel so much more like we are intuitively knowing so much more than we ever are saying, or it's polite to say. So if you do a reading for someone, basically you are reading them as a person. But because in polite society, you don't say, ah. You are, you're clearly depressed or I don't know, like I can tell that you've had a lot of trauma in your life. Like people give off vibes. Like you can pick up so much from someone really easily the stage of life they're in. You can feel them. You can feel their desires and wants coming off of them. And in fooling we name it. So in fooling will as the fool say, your dad was clearly in the army, And it's shocking when you get it right, if you really hit the nail on the head because that person's wow, how did you do that? And it's the same I think with mediums. They just pick up things and they'll be chucking stuff out all the time. And occasionally you'll say something that's just so spot on for someone that it seems really mad, but it's because you're just picking. Things up, you pick things up. And so I'm trying to teach myself to describe, but I'm finding it a bit harder to do, but I'm enjoying the practice of it. So you got the milk and I'm dropping the red ink in and asking a question and then just letting the answer come. So you are looking at it, but it's more that it's just distracting your brain. And then you get to have a communication with your self subconscious mind. And that's been, just really useful to experiment with. So you can scribe with mirrors. So you can look in the mirror and just look at the reflection of the moon in the mirror or reflection of the moon in water, for example. And that's the same thing. It's the same with tea leaves and yeah crystal balls. So you're just letting your, it's a bit like doing a 3D, those magic eye pictures where you're looking through it, you're not really looking at it, and you are, you're just distracting your brain enough to let. Your subconscious give you the answer, and that's what you're doing with Tarot and Rooms. So I've been experimenting with that as well over this full moon. And I'm gonna be doing that in the Women's Circle on Tuesday night, which is tomorrow night. So, well, You've got a mean circle tomorrow night. And I love that there's loads of women who come to it and it's lovely and. This is the thing. There's so much going on here. My aunt and uncle have been blown away. We spent all of yesterday, I made a delicious, no. In fact, dizzle made a delicious Sunday roast. I cleaned the house, but my Yeah, darling husband Dizzle made a delicious roast yesterday with meat that we'd won at the meat drawer on Friday. It's my aunt and uncle arrived on Friday, went to the meat drawer at the pub, one load of meat. Both of us did. So we had meat for the roast on Sunday. They had breakfast for the whole weekend fry up and then we made a roast and my friend Ash came over and we just sat there. And Ash is the judge. He's my mate and he's the judge. The island vice deputy senator and I'm on the government and. Dizzy's family have been here 500 years and my aunt and uncle just sat there while we were just non, it was hours of us regaling them whilst drinking lots of wine with stories of the island and the islanders and all the madness that happens here. And I said to them today, I was like, God, I thought. About it this morning. We literally just talked to you about the island for hours, and they said, no, it was so entertaining and it's such a mad place. They love it. They absolutely love it. And they said, I can totally see why you live here and what you love about it because it's just, it is so complex and. Full of stuff and community's fascinating. It's really hard work, but it is fascinating and it's so funny and I, I have a much broader social life here because in Brighton, which you'd think, okay, so Brighton's just got so much to do, which it did. And I did loads. I've always, I was involved in loads of clubs and groups and things and doing stuff all the time, but you're brought up with your age group, aren't you? And so my age group had. Had kids and there was a handful of us that didn't have kids. And we were going to the same pub that we used to go to in our twenties and most of the people that were younger than us now, and they didn't hang out with us and we're just knocking around being the ones that didn't have kids. And there's five or six, seven of us, but there's not many of us. And it just felt a bit sad and tragic. Here. Everyone still goes to the pubs. The parents are there with the kids, and the 20 year olds are there and they hang out with you because there is no age gaps between people. All the different age groups just hang out with each other. And then there's people who didn't have kids. There's people whose kids have now grown up. There's much older people who are now grandparents, like we are all in the pub together. And so it doesn't stand out at all that I don't have children. I hardly get. Asked about it at all, it doesn't get talked about because it's sort of irrelevant. Like you either have kids or you don't. You're either having them or not. It's just life's life and we're just all in the, amongst each other and it's less obvious what's going on. Yeah, it's interesting. And I'm, yeah I can be out every day and be around people, and I can party every night if I want to. And. It will be with a big different mix of people. It's different every night. Dizz goes out every night, he goes out more than me, especially'cause I'm having a dry year this year and he's with different people every single night and goes to a different house every night and ends up in all sorts of adventures and being under the stars doing something or yeah, there's always something going on. So yeah, we've had a really fun weekend showing Nigel and Colette the madness of the island, my aunt and uncle. And now I'm gonna pull a If you enjoy this podcast, then please would you be able to support it by either on Paton, which is three pound a month for one tier, and that's just a. Get the content that is like things that I would put up on Facebook and stuff like my YouTube videos and when the moon ceremonies are happening and the articles that I write, but it's all in one place and I don't have to search for it. And it's like you saying thank you and buying me a cup of tea and a once a month. Thank you for the podcast. Or for nine pounds a month, there is the videos of the podcast, which are nice and fun to watch and a bit extra it's nice to see the video as well, and. If you aren't able to support financially, then that isn't a problem because it goes out for free anyway and someone else is paying and it means they're paying for you to get a free podcast. But what would be wonderful, and I would really appreciate if you were able to share about it and tell people about it, if you're enjoying it, then other people might do as well. So if you could and also to give it. Rating. I've, I only noticed today on Spotify that I had ten five star ratings, which I was really excited about. So if you're one of the people who've done that, thank you. Really appreciate it. So anywhere where you get your podcast, if you can review and like it, that would be so wonderful and I would really appreciate it. And just tell people about it, share it on social media, and, word of mouth I think is key. So I'd really appreciate doing that. there's some offerings coming up in the not too distant future. So Beltane is nearly sold out. Loads of tickets have sold over the weekend, so I dunno how many we've got left yet. It was 90 before. The weekend, I reckon we're probably getting close to 50 tickets left, so that's exciting. That's on the 3rd of May and the excitement is building. We've got some amazing bits and Bobs planned, can't wait. So do come. We've got incredible bands, some from the uk Jersey, Guernsey, Sark, and then we've got. Artists doing all sorts of installations and walkabout. We've got uk, UK performance artists coming over. It's gonna be a mad affair, burning a Wickerman dancing, the Maypole Mama's plays. It's Morris dancing, the whole shebang. And then we've got before that the Kooky Club, which in the 24th of April ties in with Beam, but it's a surprise. Can't tell you anything more about it, but that is a secret location, a secret guest and a secret chef. And you get spoiled rotten. You have delicious food. And I interview this guest and we have a conversation about art and life and their journey. And it's inspiring and it's an opportunity for people to just sit and chat without it being booze related. being able to instigate and inspire conversation in people, and they're just wonderful nights. I, it's a privilege to be part of them and I feel spoiled rotten going and doing them myself. And then. We also have the, which fool are you? Workshops beginning at the end of May, and this is where you get to work with your archetype and you get to know your archetype and having just come out of a full mean ceremony. Having worked with my archetype, Venus, I honestly. It is so hard to get across how valuable this work is, but it's so valuable and it's so rich. I was talking about the Rose path and the Mary Magdalene path, and following the Venus. Journey with the people in the moon ceremony, and this is a whole world you can go and research and look into. So there's a book by Lisa Lister, it's called Venus, that I recommend, and it's another cycle to follow. So I was saying to them, I follow the solar, the sun, so cycle with the sabbaths, which is things like Beltane and the summer solstice and the equinox says. That I do outside with people. I physically go and do things with people for them. The moon ceremonies and the moon cycles I follow with people online and that's doing the full moon and the dark moon and I really enjoy doing them and they're, it's a really nice way to connect and I actually think zoom's a great format for it. And then you go outside and spend some time in the moon yourself. But it just feels like a really special way to definitely check in every two weeks. And I clean the house and I make the house into a sacred space and I connect in with the mean. The Venus cycle is more of a personal journey, so this is a cycle of follow on my own. And this is working with the journeys. She goes up through the chakra points and then goes through a retrograde and then goes back down through the chakra points into the underworld. And it's us going on this journey of like self. Like development and devotion and taking ourselves apart and rebuilding ourselves, which we do each month with our menstrual cycle. So it's this building up and deconstructing and I've only just started working with it, so I'm describing it like this now, but I'm sure in. A few years time,'cause it's an eight year cycle, I'll be feeling differently about it and I'll have more of an understanding of it. But this path is called the Mary Magdalene Rose Path.'cause Mary Magdalene was a priestess who was a disciple of Jesus, but she'd been a pagan priestess prior to that. And she was a Venus priestess and she knew how to hold ceremony, which is why in the Bible. She pours the oil on Jesus, which is the most sacred part of a coronation, and it's the only bit that's not allowed to be reviewed or watched. And, when she does it in the Bible, the disciples are like, why are you wasting that oil? What do you think you're doing? And Jesus says, no, she knows what she's doing, which shows that she knew how to anoint and anoint a king, which meant that she was a religious leader herself. He was able to do that, but it was the pagan faith. And her gospel was removed from the Bible and there were several gospels removed that were. All of them were the ones that said that we were all God, that God was within us. That we were all part of God, which is the way I totally see things like I, I call it the universe. They call it God. The way I feel about it is that we are just one thing experiencing itself through all these different facets. And that within us is all of it. It's the masculine and the feminine and all the different aspects like Trump and all the different things, but we are all, God, this is what God is the universe. And it might be a computer game, it might be a play, it might be whatever. But that's what this thing is. It's God and we are it. And that's what these gospels said. And they're the ones that got removed. So it's a really sacred. Path and initiation and journey, and this is me working with my archetype of Venus. There are all sorts of other things out there that are different archetypes that you could be working with, that you could be developing. For example I'm obviously surrounded by a lot of people who are fools and tricksters and they're working with Jonathan K in the fall, and then there's the full, the tarot, and then there's. Punch in Judy and Panto and mama's plays and that whole lineage. So when you know what your archetype is, there's like a whole juicy, meaty world that you belong to, and there's no end to the development of your relationship to it. And it doesn't mean save your archetype is. Eris the goddess of discord, right? You've got Discordian. That's a whole amazing, cool thing, Doesn't mean you can't explore. Venus doesn't also mean that you don't have a bit of Venus in you as well. A lot of people have a mixture of archetypes. Some people have a really clear, strong one, but some people are a mixture. I have three, so I, my, my strongest one is Venus, but I also have ing the fertility, creativity, God, which I see as very camp. He's the kind of David Bowie out in John. Freddie Mercury vibe. That's how I read him as. And within me, I have a gay man. Like I feel I am trans in a way because I feel like I've got a gay man in my body. And that's very much what our, my marriage with my husband's based on. So I've got ing and then I've also got Heti, the Triple Goddess, which is the Mother Cronin child. And I'm not any of those things. I'm not a mother and I'm not Cronin, I'm not a child, but I really connect with and resonate with all three of those things. There's a bit of me that seems like an old woman. There's a bit of me that seems like a mother. There's a bit of me that seems like a child and. Yeah that I work with all three of them. They're all, oh, and the Warrior as well. Actually the warrior is a fourth one that is sort of all of them. I, that's almost like a wash over all of them. So yeah, I've been working with all of these. To develop them, get to know them, spend time with them, and each year I just read where I'm at as to what I wanna work with for the next witch. Full you cycle. And then most other people, it's, they're doing it for the first time and they'll connect with their archetype for that journey if you've done it before. I would recommend doing it again, and you can go in deeper with the one that you've already explored, or you could explore a different aspect of yourself and a different archetype. And I'd be happy to work out deals for you to do that. Like we could talk about what's possible for you with doing that. But it's. Juicy. It's the juiciest work that I do. So if you're interested in any of this, then do let me know. We'll be beginning that in the end of May, and it will be for a Luna Cycle. And it's all done online, so anyone can join in with that. so that's all of my offerings. Thank you. And on with the show. Oh yeah. So in front of me, I've got two rings already. Now, these rings I pulled last night for the ceremony. And these are the two rings that I'm going to create a medicine line. This was something that we did in the ceremony, I thought. Just was a really powerful bit of magic that we can do. So I pulled runes for everybody because once we'd done this petal meditation, we had a white stone, which we held onto and we, the things that we wanted to let go of that made our hearts feel heavy, we filled the white stone with, and then in our left hand, and then with our right hand with a black stone. We filled it up with the medicine, with the things that we wanna take forward with the things that we want to develop. And then I pulled rooms for everyone and it broke everyone's brain that I did it that way round colorwise. And hand wise, the reason why I did that is'cause when I was doing sisterhood and touring sisterhood I was doing it the other way round, which is the obvious way around. And a woman whose partner was black said, why is black always seen as the darkness and the negative? Why is it not the other way around? And I was like, actually, you are right. That's really interesting. And swapped it. And it kept just completely tripping people up. It really messed with their brains. But our most powerful ceremony was then with a woman of color in the. Group with us. And it just felt so powerful to be doing it the other way around, and for her to hear that and for us to not just be saying, oh, black's bad, it is the darkness and the shadow. yeah, I just think.'cause also what came out from our conversation about it last night is these are like the dots in the yin and yang.'cause you have a white.in the black fish and you have a black.in the white fish. And it's a bit like with the solstice, like it's an amazing thing that. It's the summer solstice and it's the longest day of the year, but there's the touch of sadness that the days are now gonna get shorter. And the same with the winter solstice. It's the short day of the year, but there's a touch of lightness in that it's gonna get lighter and that we, these are almost like the dots and also the medicine. Like I said, when I pulled these petals out, these are the things that make my heart heavy. But these are also the medicine, quite often it's working against the grain. It's going against the grain of what you normally do with performing, because my archetype is Venus is this sexy, trumpet sexy goddess. If I'm playing Venus, then it's like I don't really believe my archetype enough, and so I am. Almost trying too hard to be it rather than just owning it. Whereas what's really fun is if I play a really dirty, gross old man, and then when I'm like doing that as Venus it feels like, it's a given that I'm sexy, but this sexy lady is playing this disgusting pervy old man. And it's funnier. It's much funnier and much more powerful and much more empowered. Then it is trying to be sexy.'cause you're never gonna be full blown Aphrodite.'cause you're just immortal form of her on earth. But as Aphrodite fully like, yeah, I know I've got this in me. I don't need to prove it to anyone. I can be a dirty old man. It works really well. I. So there's something about working against the grain. These things are your medicine. They might seem like the things that are making your heart heavy, but actually they're the things that are being presented in the game and the quest that you are in the storyline. The narrative that are the interesting adventure that you're on. They're the take this ring to mortal moments. Like these are the things that you are questing with. And did that with these stones and put these rooms on them. And we are now gonna take them to somewhere, anywhere we want. To create a pilgrimage where we take ourselves on a little pilgrimage and we put one at the beginning, which is the one that we're, the thing that's heavy that we're letting go of, and we put that at the beginning and then we'll walk with intention to wherever the end of that line's gonna be. You decide, it could be just across your bedroom. It could be in your favorite park, it could be somewhere in the countryside. It can be wherever you want. It is up to you. It's literally up to you where you want to take it. But you place the first one down at one end, and then you carry the other one and walk with it to the other m and you place it down. And then you've created a medicine line that even if the stones disappear, like you've let them go they're gone. You then. Whenever you want to think about the themes of either the rooms or what the things were that you, the petals you took from the pyramid, you go and walk with them and you go and walk that medicine line and contemplate it. And it just felt like that was a really useful thing. I know where I'm gonna do the walk. I'm gonna do it tomorrow. I'll be with my aunt and uncle, but I'll know what I'm doing and I'm sure while I'm with them, I'll be, the conversations will come out about what it is that I'm doing. And that will forever be there. And I will also be able to talk to my aunt and uncle along that line, even if they don't, even if they're not around anymore, I'll always have them with me. And it's just a place for me to talk and to, to myself and connect in with these things. And over the years they'll change. The meaning of the rooms will change. And yeah, my room, the first one was o which is community. And that is for me here, like the biggest sort of. Head screw there is, like my issues in life are all to do with the community in this never ending conversation about how to share space. And then the medicine is being direct and being clear about what I want. And that's, so if ever I need to clear my head about. Whatever's going on on this island, I can just go do this walk and clear my head and that would be really useful. So let's see what re we pull and the universe wants to share. So this is Lots Cup. This is the gambling cup. We play a game at Kentwell called Maya, where you hover a cup with two Dyson dye in and you shake them and you roll them and you look inside and the game is that you. You wanna keep going higher so when I pass it on, the next person has to go higher than me. And you go up so if you've got a three and a four in there, you would always put it the highest way round. So you'd say four and three. So you go four and three, and the next person would have to be five and two. The next person, six and one. But what's higher than six? So six and five would be the highest sort of mixed one, but then it would be double one, double two, double three, double four, double five, double six. And then the highest one, which technically is the lowest, which is two, and one is Maya. So it's a bit like pontoon. So 21, which is technically the lowest bit like ace can be high or low. 21 would be the lowest you could roll. But actually that's the highest, that's the kind of magic one that's called Maya and the game's called Maya. So you look in the dice pot and you look and then you say what it is and then you pass it on. But you can lie. So you could look in there and you could say. Four and five and the person before you had said four and three and the person thinks you're lying and they look in there and you've got double six and they'd lose a life because you were lying but it was higher, if it's higher than you win. So it's a really fun game'cause you're messing with people's minds. It's a bit like poker. It's more about the the mind games than it is about the luck. Strategy. So it's a really fun game, and this is this gambling cup. And I also associate it with pregnancy. The when I was doing IVF, this came up a lot with pregnancy and the potential. It's a bit like trodding as cat. This is the ruin of. Potential that's, that anything's possible. And that is what I feel is happening in the world at the moment. And this is what I was sharing last night in the ceremony. I'm sorry for anyone who was at the ceremony who's listening to this podcast. They're like, I've heard all this already. I apologize. But for those who haven't it's really an important key moment in the world. And this is not messing around. This is not. I don't mean this lightly. This is serious stuff that I'm saying here, that this is all made up. We made up laws, we made up like politics. The hierarchical structures, were gained through brute force. They were gained through. Narrative writing. You see it in say Game of Thrones or something like this, where there's the brute force element, but there's always that slimy. The character you like least is the one who's changing the narrative and Trump's doing it now. Dawn who's um, shout out to Dawn who's was at the ceremony last night, was talking about Trump closing down or. I dunno what it was that he was doing to this museum and I, Samson's museum. I can't remember what the name of the museum was either. It's really annoying. I've been doing a very good job of not watching world politics, so I can't remember the details, but it was a museum about the slave trade and about. America's slave history and he was trying to rewrite the narrative and almost say it didn't happen. And my aunt and uncle have been to Auschwitz recently and they said that they went round the tour and they were surprised at how dry and. Almost, not dull, but just very factual. The tour was because at the end of it, they said a really large majority of people who come here now no longer believe that the Holocaust happened, and so we are no longer like trying to make it interesting or more human with the stories in the way that they used to. They're now just getting the facts drummed into people so that they can go away and say. This many people died. This happened. This was how they were killed. This is what they did. This was the dates, and it's like boom. So that people can be as clear as possible that it is true. And it's not just like some anecdotal story. It is like, no f these are the numbers of what happened. And yeah, Trump's trying to rewrite the narrative at the moment. And in any TV show, film storyline, it's the, it's those wormy, slimy. People that are whispering in the ear going you could do it like this and it could be put like this. And if you look at it from this angle, then everything's fine for you to do this. And they're like, oh yeah, I could take that man's wife, or I could. And it's that slime bag that's the one that we all hate. And bit like the journalists, the whole archetype of a slimy journalist, like the piggy journalists in spitting image that were all pigs and. They do, they'll do anything to mess, screw someone over and get a good story and all that kind of stuff. A lot of journalists are absolutely brilliant, and I wouldn't say most journalists like that, that, journalism's a hard gig these days because the narrative is being so controlled. It's not really the journalists these days, it's the people who own the papers that are the ones that are the pigs. And it is, the narrative is everything. There's an amazing book called active Hope by Joanna. Something. Oh, I've forgot her surname. Oh, that's mad. I've always known her name. I was gonna say her name was Joanna Hope, but it's not, that's the name. But Active Hope by Joanna Macy. Joanna Macy, that's it. And she is an activist, but she's a She's gone into the sort of therapy side of things like supporting activists with burnout and Active Hope is a book for people who are feeling burnt out from their activism. And she's talking about how it's, there's a three-pronged attack and it's vital that we keep doing it and that we are all relevant. In fact, there's two three pronged things here. So there's the, we need the scientists, we need the people who are. Doing the discoveries that are exploring ways of getting fungus to eat plastic or fungus that will eat up oil in the sea, or ways of making solar panels or all of the things that we need people to be doing to try and find different ways of doing things so that we get ourselves out of the mess that we're in. We need those people. We need the. Governance, politician, businessmen, people to be, in the infrastructure, in the law making, like doing the things to try and change, corporation CEOs, that stuff, we need all of that. Those are both key things we need, but we also need the storytellers. We need the artists, we need the creatives to be writing new narratives that inspire and excite. And where I see that being at the forefront at the moment is in the folk revival scene. The right to Rome is full of moming and'cause it's working class stories, it's community'cause also. We are way more socialists when we are in community. The Tories know this. The Tories will do anything they can to stop community, and that's why the arts are not funded when Tories are in because the arts is all about strengthening community and bringing people together and creating connection and. And we have it here'cause we've got a load of libertines and wealthy people here that are completely against any kind of social state, join the government. And then they're dealing with the fact that so and so down the road who they know is in a really dire situation, something awful has happened and we need to do something to help them. And how are you going to not do that? How are you gonna look them in the eye or their family in the eye when you all live amongst each other and not do that when you are in community? You help each other out, it's just a given. And people will help you out. Like even if you are one of these self-centered, self-serving rich twats people will still help you out. And so it means that you can't continue to be, oh no, it's all everyone for themselves. And, and that's really inspiring. And so this whole kind of resurgence of community art and folk art and folk connection means that people are coming together and we're doing mayday celebrations and we're doing, old folk traditions that, that are for just the common people. And it's not about high art, it's not about being well-trained or, you've gotta be able to do this perfectly. It's about doing it in a really ad hoc, panto e, low grade way. But actually it's for us and it's deeply rooted and it's normally very connected to the land as well. That's why I see it's happening in the narrative. It and it's land worship and nature worshiping. So there's the reverence there and that deep appreciation that we need to rekindle and connect in appreciation in each other, in community and appreciation in nature and the land. It's juicy stuff. This is real juicy stuff. And this is what this Schrodinger's thing is all about. Like we need to really believe the potential that anything's possible and that we need to make it happen. And, the three things that she talks about within this psychology thing. So the prong attack of the psychology of it is that you have business as usual, which is that, nothing's going on, nothing's wrong. There is no eco disaster. There is no impending doom. I think we can all see that's not true, The second one is that we can do something about it. Something is going on and we fully have the power to do something about it. And the third one is, we're all fucked and there's nothing we can do about it. And if you were to look at the narratives that are put out there and what the story is from the naked slimy bastards that are. Controlling these things. The narrative is business as usual or we're fucked. But if you think about it, like the bit in the middle is the really big bit, that's the actual bit that we are in and is vast because we're so far from business as usual. That has not been the case since. I, Lisa Simpson was saying it when she came out in the eighties, and I was saying it in the eighties as a little Lisa Simpson, myself and WWF and. Not the wrestling, the wildlife fund and all of these things were all there saying from a long time ago that we can't carry on the way we are. And that business as usual is not a thing. That the, this is also, it's not business as usual. This is a tiny little glitch and a little moment that's happening where we are suddenly behaving like this. It's only been since the industrial revolution and. It has been nothing but detrimental to our health and wellbeing and the planet's health and wellbeing since it began. And it doesn't mean that we throw it all out and throw it all away, but we definitely need to bring back some of the things we did throw away and balance this out a bit because this is not, this is just dirt. It's dirty, it's toxic, it's destructive, and we can have all the perks of it. Without the dirt and destruction, it's actually possible you can still be comfortable in your house and have all the lovely things without it being at the detriment of everything, including yourself. And that we have this like middle space that is vast where we can do something about it, right? But that never gets mentioned. That's, that doesn't exist. But within ourselves, it's not like you are one. Or the other of these things within our day, we have to go around being business as usual. Sometimes you have to fly. Sometimes you know, you've gotta get in your car, you've gotta go about your day, you're bringing up kids. You've just gotta act normal. You've gotta get on with your life. Then sometimes you're like, right now I need to do something about this. I'm gonna fill in that petition. I'm gonna go on that protest. I'm gonna challenge my boss. I'm gonna challenge the NHS in how the medical profession is running. Things I'm gonna like. Question this, I'm gonna question like, sometimes you just gotta do it. You've gotta, you've gotta do it. You've gotta stand up for the thing that you believe in, and then other times you are completely full of despair and you're like, we're completely fucked. And it was useful to hear that because as someone who, has done a lot of stuff to do with eco activism and will continue be continually be doing, so I am sometimes completely lost and we're fucked, and it's really desperate. And sometimes I've gotta just crack on and do business as usual, and I've gotta do something that I wouldn't. I technically want to do, but I have to, I have to, it's life. I live on an island, I have to fly, things like that, Sometimes you've gotta do these things. and we just, you dip into all of them. So we are dipping in and out of things all the time, and narrative writing is key. So this Schrodinger's cat, this potential is what is in the box. So is there a thriving future where we all exist, or is it that we are at the beginning of Armen and we're completely screwed? It's up to you to decide. You decide what's in that box. You are the one who's gonna take the gamble. Are you gonna gamble for we're fucked or are you gonna gamble for, we can do something about this? Or are you gambling for business as usual? Everything's fine. It's up to you. And you are AIX in the picture. So the more of us that are the. We can do something about this pixel, the more that's the picture, and that's how you change the world. So you just crack on with you, be your archetype. Stand in your being, being your power, owning your. Atmosphere your color in the the rainbow of the symphony of this image. You are your note. You are your color, you are your sparkle in the picture, and within it, you choose what that pixel does is that pixel in despair, is that pixel. Just gonna go about business as usual, or is that Pixel gonna do something about it? What are you? And you do that. And then we'll see. It's a bit, it is like a game where we're all gonna put our cards down on the table and we'll see which one wins. And that's how it's create will be created. So what are you gonna create? What future are you gonna create? What reality are you gonna create? Are you creating a reality where we thrive and where the world is in harmony and bliss? And. Exciting and thriving and just full of potential, or are we screwed and heading towards our demise. So the choice is yours, and that brings us onto the Chaos Crusade. So the Chaos Crusade for this week is, I am. I'm doing a spring clean at the moment and I'm finding it really useful for my head. And it might be something that you might want to do yourselves for just helping yourself in some way. So I would do this. It's just been the full moon. You could do it for the lunar cycle, you could do it for a week. It's up to you how long you wanna do it till or till the dark moon. I'm doing 40 days where I'm doing a thing each day towards the thing that I want. So it could be that you want to write a book. what I'm doing is spring cleaning and I'm doing a thing each day for 40 days where I'm, I'm cleaning a bit of the house and I, yeah, so each day we're doing a bit of spring cleaning. So me and my husband are doing it and we're picking a thing to do. So cleaning out the wardrobe, cleaning out the cupboards, cleaning the fireplace, something like that. So it's doing something over a period of time where you just do a bit each day and it just helps you to get there, whatever it is that you need to do to get there. And that's what I would like to suggest for your case crew. So,'cause I'm finding it really useful for just getting things done. So that's my offering and I hope that's of use to you. And yeah, I shall see you again next week. And. Keep it. Just keep up the good work. Whatever it is you're doing, let your heart be as light as a feather and just forgive yourself for anything that feels cumbersome or making mistakes, forgive, forget. Move on and keep going. Alright, love you. Take care. I shall see the anon.