Nonsense in the Chaos
This weekly offering is an exploration into the unknown, as I interview one of the many extraordinary people I've had the joy of meeting on this weird and wonderful journey we call life.
Instead of having pre-planned questions, I pull three tarot cards, which we’ll discuss and share our insights on. This concept aims to support me and the listeners to learn to be at ease with the unknown, demonstrating how there’s something to gain from trusting the chaos of the universe.
Nonsense in the Chaos
#33 A Vocal Odyssey; Nessi Gomes and the Spirit of Your Voice
You’re in for a real treat this week with the utterly gorgeous Nessi Gomes. Born and bred in Guernsey, Nessi is of Portuguese descent and a stunning singer- songwriter. Channelling influences from both sides of her ethnicity, Nessi blends the essence of the traditional, emotional and 'larger than life' Fado folk music of Portugal with British contemporary inspiration. Nessi makes music from the heart and the guts. If you’ve never heard of her before then go have a listen to Nessi’s work before tuning in to today’s podcast. Then sit back and enjoy the wisdom and insights Nessi has to offer. Our chat was an absolute delight and I can’t wait to share this week’s Nonsense in the Chaos with you. Enjoy!
@nessigomesmusic
The music and artwork is by @moxmoxmoxiemox
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Thank you for all your support -x-
The. Welcome to The Nonsense in the Chaos. I'm your host, Jaylee Rose. I'm ever so excited to welcome my special guest, Nessie Gomez, to the show. We haven't met in person yet. I have been introduced to her via Connections to do the pilgrimage with our friend Ben Christie, who we mention in the podcast, and she's over there on the Big Rock, which is not far away, and we were trying to meet up before. She headed off, which you'll hear all about her adventures, in the interview. But I'm going to be meeting her and I'm gonna be hanging out with her real soon and we just hit it off. Hugely in the chat. It was lovely. We've got lots of mutual friends and I've been listening to her music for ages and yeah, I what brilliant music she makes. It's just such an honor. And I did her course just before. recording this interview and yeah. Blew me away. So emotional. I, I have a real block when it comes to singing where even if. Before someone, before the words of the sentence you're going to sing in public, have time to go through my ears and enter my conscious mind. My body is already in tears, so whatever the reaction is to that is so deep that it's, it's physical. It's beyond even. My thinking, and so that's why I've always had a feeling that it's from a past life'cause it feels so genetically or like physically held, and I've nearly drowned in this life six times. I, let's see if I can remember them all. I ran into a pond when I was five chasing after ducklings, and it was a manmade pond with a sudden massive drop. That would've meant I would've just disappeared. Yeah. And I was, I was tiny. I was like four or five years old. then. The second time I laid back in a dinghy and was watching the clouds, and then when I sat up, right, the shore line was a tiny, tiny little line in the distance and I was about eight. And luckily my first cousin had seen who was about, who was seven years older than me, and he'd swam out. To get me and together we had to swim with all our might against the tide to get back to shore. But we managed it, but it was touch and go and it was exhausting and we had to take it in turns to rest because it took so long for us to get back. So that was scary. I have. It was a wave machine at Sudbury swimming pool where I just got about of control. I, it was too, too deep and there was too many people in there and the lifeguard had to pull me out'cause you could see that I was starting to struggle. Then, next to a load of surfers on Bondi Beach, I got rolled by a wave and, Was running out of air and was starting to, I was about to swallow water when a surface stuck his hand in and grabbed me and pulled me up out of the water. Luckily. Then there was the main one, which was when I was at Kentwell Hall Tud reenactment, where I jumped in the fish pond and my shift went up over my head and pulled me under, and I got pulled out by a visitor. But I saw an old man in Tudor costume jump in to save me in front of me. And yeah, they never existed. And then that led to someone saying to me, you've made. A connection with the spirit world. You've had a near death experience. You're on the shamanic path. I was like, well, that's very cool. And that's what got me into Jonathan K and Fooling and the world that I've then explored. It was all inspired by the beekeeper, who was a Pagan coming up and telling me that I was a shaman when I was a 13-year-old Nirvana fan. And then the last time was. I was about to say recently, but actually it was probably 2012, so not that recently I went scuba diving in Cuba and. steam from my breathing. I'd clouded up my mask and instead of opening it and letting a bit of water in and then pushing it out, which I knew how to do that, I went to the surface and took the mask off, and then instantly the wave started going up my nose and then I took the mouth thing out.'cause I was just getting water going up my nose and I took the mouth thing out. And then it just, my, my hands were full and I hadn't inflated my life jacket, so I had these really heavy oxygen tanks on my back, pulling me under whilst I was getting hit in the face with waves. And I didn't have any hands to put the mask and the thing back in my mouth. Luckily, my ex-husband had seen me go up to the surface and grabbed me and held onto me whilst I sorted myself out. And we went back down underwater and our. Scuba diving party had disappeared. We were gone. So we were just at sea, not visible of the shoreline or boats or anything, just in the sea on our own. Luckily, my ex-husband had the wherewithal to say, we stay here, and I was, I just nearly drowned. So I was totally in the midst of a panic attack whilst underwater, whilst realizing that we'd been left. And if I'd been on my own, I would've just randomly started swimming around. But luckily, he. Made us stay where we were, which was really logical and saved And luckily, after, I dunno how long, it was, a long time, but they did come back and find us bloody scary. So. I decided to move to an island in the middle of the sea because obviously that's the safest thing I could possibly do. Someone who nearly drowns all the time. But it also, like I was born with asthma and asthma's linked to grief, and there's just something about all of it where it feels like maybe I was ducked in a previous life or some kind of something. Yeah, and it does. Very much unlock emotional angst in me when I sing. And before, like I say, before I even hear the words you are going to sing in public, I just burst into tears. There's something about it. And yet I use my voice loads. I'm a performer, I'm an actress. I do podcasts, I write, so I'm not scared of using my voice. But there is some kind of wound and I refer to that as the witch wound, which, which I talk about with Nessie. So without further delay, we want to get on with this because she's amazing and we have so much to talk about and I can't wait to share it with you. So here is the fabulous and gorgeous Nessie Gomez.
Jolie:Whereabouts
Nessi Gomes:little moment. We, I'm in Guernsey. I'm in uh,
Jolie:I live
Nessi Gomes:I live down in Mullen where, I dunno if you know Guernsey much or like if you, Mullen white's a really beautiful part of the island. It's very witchy.
Jolie:it.
Nessi Gomes:It's where, they have this tea room called the Renoir Tea Rooms down the bottom. it's a really beautiful part of the island. It's so special.
Jolie:it
Nessi Gomes:I love it
Jolie:or west?
Nessi Gomes:South. I'm rubbish with all that kind of stuff,
Jolie:but it's not in St. Peter port. It's further down.
Nessi Gomes:It is five minutes away from St. Peter Port. It's super close, which is great.
Jolie:Yay.
Nessi Gomes:so I'm here, I'm going to LA tomorrow. I'm flying for a few days. And, then back on Monday. I have a little bit of time, so it's great.
Jolie:I really
Nessi Gomes:Thank you. I this. Oh, babe, what Oh, thank you.
Jolie:in la?
Nessi Gomes:What
Jolie:I'm.
Nessi Gomes:So there's this guy called Charlie Goldsmith and he contacted me, I don't know, it was really quite recently, probably six weeks ago. He contacted me via Instagram. Saying that he really loved my music and that he does a lot of healing work and he would love to invite me to join him for one of his events. I was a bit skeptical in the beginning'cause I was like, okay not sure. And then Leno, my husband, he checked into it. He is no, this guy's legit. And he's he's a proper healer dude. Like he's working with, he's working with so many people. And he's got a US TV series called The Healer,
Jolie:where
Nessi Gomes:where they follow him around and he's working with all sorts from children to older people dealing with chronic physical pain he's literally putting his hands on them and managing to support and heal their. issues, which is pretty amazing. I've always been a bit skeptical of all that stuff, but he seems legit and he's a really nice guy. I'm going over to la He's got this event on the 15th. It's 300 people. It's like a large group meditation, healing event. And I'm playing for about an hour.
Jolie:wow.
Nessi Gomes:He's bringing a few people up and I don't know if I'm playing when he's working on them or, but He looks super ordinary. He doesn't have any flashy gear and, he's Australian, but he lives in la. I've never done anything like that before, so it feels really exciting.
Jolie:And have you been to LA before?
Nessi Gomes:I've been to LA a few times actually, but the last time I was there, I think it was in 2019 when my daughter was four or five months old, and I had a gig in Hollywood in some really cool little venue, and she was asleep in my guitar case. I've actually got photos of that. And it's a very, it was very sweet, but it was like this tiny little kind of, I think it was like 200 people in this like venue live music venue. Very cool though. Like really nice place. And, but I think that's the last time I've been there. I can't remember. But I do really like the states. there's a good vibe there,
Jolie:it's quite, it's
Nessi Gomes:Yeah. It's quite, it's
Jolie:got a
Nessi Gomes:Yeah.
Jolie:we don't, we are
Nessi Gomes:Which you don't, you're Yeah. I do like the character and, I like all that stuff, they have amazing little cafes It's like being in a movie when you go there. Like I know. Not all of America's like that. I'm sure. There's parts that are just really dark and fucked up, whatever. But when I went to la, I think I went to Venice. And I remember walking down the street and it was just, I felt like I'd taken acid or something'cause it, everything seemed so animated, but I really, I've got so many American friends and I really love them. they've got something about them,
Jolie:I
Nessi Gomes:I
Jolie:time
Nessi Gomes:spent some time
Jolie:which I absolutely loved. New
Nessi Gomes:absolutely loved morning amazing and just
Jolie:coming out of the
Nessi Gomes:music with all bars
Jolie:Coke
Nessi Gomes:it felt like
Jolie:Like I,
Nessi Gomes:advert.
Jolie:hot
Nessi Gomes:it got really
Jolie:rain came out and we were dancing in the street it Was amazing. It is. It's
Nessi Gomes:yeah. It's just such.
Jolie:talks. They'll just be like, so blonde.
Nessi Gomes:So blonde. They're just funny. Like you just get some proper characters out there. Do you know what I mean? And back in the day, like a very long time ago, I spent some months working there legally, like trimming ganja.
Jolie:brilliant.
Nessi Gomes:Which I was really shit at, thank God. But yeah, I didn't do very good at that job, but again, I just, and that was like Santa Cruz. I dunno if you've ever been to Santa.
Jolie:I've been there and I,
Nessi Gomes:Yeah. And that's
Jolie:do as well. I
Nessi Gomes:about that job. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I have a bit I have a soft spot for America. I know America's vast, but at least the places that I've been to I've really enjoyed it and. Yeah, so I'm looking forward to it. Let's see how it all goes when I get there,
Jolie:And so you're still based
Nessi Gomes:and so.
Jolie:how, talk about your Guernsey life, like how you grew up there and,
Nessi Gomes:up there, grew grew and then
Jolie:to
Nessi Gomes:left from there.
Jolie:or
Nessi Gomes:You lived elsewhere
Jolie:story?
Nessi Gomes:So my family originally from Madeira and they immigrated to Guernsey probably in the sixties. So I was born and raised here. And to be honest, when I grew up here, I actually found it really challenging. I guess'cause people didn't travel as much, it wasn't like it is now where people are way more open-minded and educated and I just remember being at school and I guess whatever your situation is as a kid, you probably get shit for it. Do you know what I mean? growing up here was challenging'cause, being Portuguese, even though I was born here, I always felt like I didn't belong here. I always felt like something was not right with me. And'cause there was, I guess there was a lot more discrimination and racism back then, and maybe that still exists, but I don't think it's as bad. I love that Guernsey's really cosmopolitan these days. we have a, a lot of people from Africa here. We've got a growing community of Filipinos, and so I guess because of Brexit and everything. But I just love, I love how Guernsey's become really diverse culturally. I was born here and then. You know at one point, because you are an island kid, you wanna get off the rock. Do you know what I mean? So I went traveling from the age of 18, 19 for a few years to Asia. It was either go to university or go traveling. when I was about 24, I decided to study. At Derby University. And I studied like healing arts, so I did creative expressive therapies for three years, I got into music when I was about 14 and it wasn't because I wanted to be a professional singer. It was more like, I think I might have mentioned this a little bit in the vocal odyssey that music was my way to heal myself, That was what I was really fascinated with. And so I left Guernsey for some years. I was back in the summer and holidays, but I was living in the UK for three years and then I came back after uni, was here for a couple more years, and then I decided to travel again when I was 28 and went to South America and then, which is an amazing. A kind of part of the world, super mystical and witchy. And, And then I ended up living in Costa Rica for three years where I met my husband I was living in a community called Hamama, which is a very kind of alternative community like. I hate all these buzzwords, but it was like a spiritual community yoga medicine ceremonies body cleansing therapy workshops, meditation and silent retreats. It was that kind of culture there. I was there for three years. My husband was there for like 12 years He said, I think it's time to move and leave so we came back to England we didn't really know where we were gonna settle. But then when I got pregnant with my daughter in 2019, I said to Lena, I don't wanna be nomadic anymore. I really need a base, especially being pregnant and I wanna be close to my family so it felt really important, I've seen so much and I've traveled a lot with the music to many different places in the world. And I just love being an island girl. Every time I set foot back home, the moment I get off the plane, I just feel like my whole nervous system just goes, oh,
Jolie:Yeah.
Nessi Gomes:And I don't see myself living anywhere else and I've, I've been really blessed to see so many different parts of the world. But I just love it here,'cause my family is still here I think bringing up a kid here is really great as well because it's so safe and quiet and pace of life is different and everything's on your doorstep. when I lived in London back in 2016, that's when I was recording my album. I lived there for like a year and a half and it was fun in the beginning'cause it's a novelty and London's really juicy, but long term God, I think it would just eat me alive It's just too much, but yeah, so I've lived in different places, but Guernsey's really, I just feel like a proper island girl,
Jolie:I
Nessi Gomes:So. Oh,
Jolie:it
Nessi Gomes:definitely I,
Jolie:Guernsey to sar. I get off the boat in
Nessi Gomes:yeah,
Jolie:Oh it's
Nessi Gomes:Wells is even slower, isn't it? It's like you don't even have cars there.
Jolie:Yeah, it's mad. I,
Nessi Gomes:Yeah,
Jolie:busy here.
Nessi Gomes:I'm always busy, but it's very community based,
Jolie:We're always up to
Nessi Gomes:but that's amazing
Jolie:exactly. Yeah.
Nessi Gomes:That's awesome. Like I've always been curious about people living in Sark we came over to Sark back in the summer and it was Leno's first time going there I just think it's so cute. I love it. I even thought maybe I might just pop over to Sark for a week and just go on a little retreat with myself,
Jolie:I think it's perfect
Nessi Gomes:When I'm home, I have so many distractions. I've got my kid, I'm such a procrastinator and I love being in my house and finding things to do and tidy and clean and decorate it can really pull me out of doing what I need to do, which is write a new album. That's where I'm at right now and I keep having these little. Moments. Go sock. Just go sock. It's really close. You jump on a boat and like just rent somewhere for a week and take your guitar and writing stuff be with yourself, turn off the wifi,
Jolie:Yeah,
Nessi Gomes:it could be a good place to do that.
Jolie:it's perfect. And for writing,'cause
Nessi Gomes:For writing,
Jolie:I do
Nessi Gomes:I write books and I do exactly that, especially two weeks.
Jolie:carry
Nessi Gomes:Uh, I can carry on editing.
Jolie:on it afterwards,
Nessi Gomes:I had to take myself away and stop that two weeks where I focused.
Jolie:Properly in there
Nessi Gomes:Yeah.
Jolie:so that I, yeah,
Nessi Gomes:So that I, yeah.
Jolie:the voice and, get it going and then I can work on it a bit more. But yeah.
Nessi Gomes:Yeah. No, totally.
Jolie:career take off? the moment where you were like, oh my, this is actually
Nessi Gomes:So I got into music at a young age, probably around about 14, 15 actually. I started with poetry. That's how I started was I was writing a lot. I wasn't singing or anything like that. And then, back then people didn't have social media and Instagram and Snapchat and all that kind of stuff. People were, I just remember a lot of friends being in bands. And like at the weekend, people will be like having like band practice in their garages. a friend of mine, he was in a band and he knew I was writing poetry and he wants to use it for his like, band set up. And then he said, look, I know you don't do any singing, but if you could sing your songs give it a try. Anyway, I got into it from there. And fell in love with it. I just remember it making me feel so good and I wasn't even good at it. I was all right, considering I had no practice or training or any musical background or knowledge. that really ignited a big passion. For many years I was experimenting and I was in many different bands. I was in a funk band for five years in Guernsey, called Dave.
Jolie:Oh, I've heard of
Nessi Gomes:I found Dave.
Jolie:that still going?
Nessi Gomes:I know they probably do some gigs here and there, but I used to play so we were solid for five years. I probably joined them when I was 19 we did so many types of gigs and were getting booked for all sorts of wedding events and playing in pubs it was really fun, because I was in all these grungy emo bands beforehand, which I loved. what I really loved about the funk music was that it got everybody dancing it was fun and playful and we were having such a laugh with it Carefree Little Rascals.
Jolie:Do you
Nessi Gomes:Do you think the EY music is pretty free?
Jolie:I'm very impressed with it.
Nessi Gomes:I think it's amazing, and I think we're very blessed over here to have such a rich music culture. I used to play a lot at the Vail Earth fairs. Which is still going, which is amazing. And what I love about that, or just in general in Guernsey, is like there's so many different eclectic types of genres. It's, there's, it's a real mixture. And I think that can be such a great influence as an artist that you're not just stuck to one kind of genre that you can really, play around with them. I think we're very lucky here and it was such a great starting point for me because, I did my first gig when I was like 15 at Christie's Bistro Cafe Bar, and I was lying about my age back then'cause I wanted to obviously get a gig. I was singing all these really cheesy covers, like Lady in Red and shit, it was just a great platform and we were very blessed because everything's on your doorstep. Do you know what I mean? I dunno what that's like in the uk. I guess it's a bit harder, if you are trying to
Jolie:I grew up in
Nessi Gomes:Yeah, I grew up in s
Jolie:we used to
Nessi Gomes:in Essex. We used to sit around and Jack Yeah.
Jolie:jam with each other and we'd all hang out and stuff. But there wasn't any
Nessi Gomes:there wasn't any dry for us to go out.
Jolie:was
Nessi Gomes:There
Jolie:metal
Nessi Gomes:a metal grunge
Jolie:that was in the
Nessi Gomes:venue that was in the next town
Jolie:that's where anyone who
Nessi Gomes:and that's where anyone who got into the band that went to, but it was all
Jolie:was
Nessi Gomes:grunged. Everyone, if anyone's playing about it, they were playing grunge.
Jolie:But,
Nessi Gomes:yeah. But
Jolie:wasn't the eclecticness
Nessi Gomes:eclectic,
Jolie:vibrant
Nessi Gomes:as vibrant.
Jolie:you'd
Nessi Gomes:Brighton,
Jolie:it to
Nessi Gomes:where you'd expect it to be thriving.
Jolie:had
Nessi Gomes:We
Jolie:in
Nessi Gomes:had friends who were in bands and were musicians, but they'd go off
Jolie:they'd have
Nessi Gomes:practice and then they'd have a gig and we'd go watch them, but it wasn't around us. And whenever I go to like South Corp or anywhere like that, where
Jolie:culturally
Nessi Gomes:much more culturally just part of everyday life to justing the music, I feel like in the uk everything needs to be polished and burned
Jolie:anybody.
Nessi Gomes:present it to anybody.
Jolie:Like whatever it is, you have to be perfect. And. before you it to anyone. Whereas, yeah, it feels
Nessi Gomes:Yeah,
Jolie:a lot more European and South American and it's absolute freedom to do stuff.
Nessi Gomes:absolutely. And I think, I'm so grateful that I was able to grow as an artist here because it's really shaped me and supported my development I did Battle of the Bands a few weeks ago. I was one of the judges and it's incredible to see all this young talent, it's really inspiring and so beautiful to see that it's still alive and present here. my cousin lives in Jersey, and maybe I'm wrong in saying this. I'm pretty sure he said the music scene in Guernsey's way better than Jersey it's a lot more vibrant. There's more venues to play in Guernsey than there are in Jersey, which I was always really surprised about because I just assumed with Jersey being at that bit bigger that they would have the same kind of culture, but apparently not. my cousin loves coming over for Vail or doing gigs at the UE or whatever, you know? that was kind of like my, my foundation. when I went to uni, I was learning about music therapy, but a lot of what I was doing in that course was improvisation,
Jolie:which is
Nessi Gomes:was really, another branch to my tree, because all the music I had been doing was covers, and I had experimented. A little bit with writing my own songs, but university gave me another foundation that was how to find my own voice when I was in a funk band I remembered that it's really natural when you're younger and developing as an artist that. You are still in the phase of imitating, I think that's healthy. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. But there was a point where it's like, I wanna find my voice, like where is my voice and how does she express herself and what are the songs that she wants to sing? So university, that course really helped me explore that. Yeah, so then I went to uni I always just imagined music was gonna be like a hobby. I did get paid for the gigs that I did in Guernsey, but nothing that I could make a living out of. And then it was when I went to Costa Rica. I'd been traveling already for a year until I went to Costa Rica and when I ended up living there in this community, it was the first time that I I guess experimented of plant medicines because that was an element of Petri mama. Like we would have a lot of ceremonies, whether they were like. I ask her ceremonies or anything, and this was like 15 years ago, I came across all that stuff in Peru, but I was like, I don't know if I really wanna sit down with some random person that I don't know, taking psychedelics. Do you know what I mean? I was intrigued, but I wasn't really pulled at that point. But when I ended up going through pama. I didn't know that they did ceremonies there. I signed up just for a five week work exchange program and then I ended up meeting my husband on the final week when I was meant to leave. Which is typical, isn't it?
Jolie:the way.
Nessi Gomes:I remember when I did my first ayahuasca ceremony it blew my mind and my creativity, it influenced my art in such a profound way, even guiding me with how to express my voice. I had been writing a lot of songs during that time when it came to leave. my husband was like, okay, I think our story here is come to an end. He'd been there already like 12, 13 years. we left with the vision of making an album from all the songs. I came back to London and we did a crowdfunding campaign and raised like 50.$50,000 for the album. Yeah. Which is pretty mad like that for me, that was the first sign that I was like, okay, I think I'm doing something right here. Like it was a sign from existence because I had a lot of resistance in the beginning, mainly because I didn't believe in myself and I felt like such a. What's the word When somebody feels like an imposter.
Jolie:Imposter syndrome. Yeah,
Nessi Gomes:Yeah. it was so intense during that period when I was making the album and the songs it was way more than just making an album. It was like burning all these old stories that I had carried with me all my life. through the process of making an album, I had to face these intense shadows of myself there was a rebirth in that process, and then I made this album and put it out in 2016. It came out and did its thing I think a lot of people connected to it in the medicine kind of ceremonial world. A lot of people were playing this album during ceremonies. A lot of people discovered my music through that. And then I think what made it even bigger was during Covid, because obviously Covid was pretty rubbish for us because we couldn't travel and we couldn't gather and I couldn't tour and I couldn't do any gigs and couldn't do anything. And I know a lot of people were in similar situations where. Their work got really affected. But because people were indoors, more people were listening to music than normal, yeah, my numbers doubled during Covid,
Jolie:I think that's
Nessi Gomes:you know, I think that's when I,
Jolie:sure that's when I found you as well.
Nessi Gomes:well,
Jolie:Before I
Nessi Gomes:I knew your music before I knew who you were. So when people were like,
Jolie:in Guernsey, I checked who you are and listened to music. I
Nessi Gomes:You You were, and I listened to me like, oh, I've got loads of music in my,
Jolie:listening to you
Nessi Gomes:hilarious.
Jolie:But
Nessi Gomes:yeah, it's definitely locked down.
Jolie:I had been hearing
Nessi Gomes:I've probably been hearing you already, but it's when I,
Jolie:and started to remember the songs and Sing along to them
Nessi Gomes:yeah.
Jolie:Yeah.
Nessi Gomes:Oh yeah. So it's done its own thing, I made an album and it's the first album I've ever made. for me, when I did it, I was like that. It was because it was such a intense process for myself, I just felt like I'd already succeeded in the fact that I made it, and then everything else that followed it went on its own little journey and I feel really grateful and blessed Was listened to by so many people, and people resonated with it. that was also one of the things people shared with me getting private messages and people sharing that. My songs made them feel like they gave them permission to feel what they felt, because. My songs is really, I guess they're very raw and they're not sugarcoated in ultra positive, fluffy spiritual stuff. I'm a spiritual person, but I don't like to wave that flag around. It feels like a really private relationship I feel very touched to know that my songs were companions to people, during difficult moments in their life, because
Jolie:You
Nessi Gomes:that's where a lot of these songs came from.
Jolie:got so much
Nessi Gomes:You've so much,
Jolie:and it's something that I
Nessi Gomes:and it's something I used to love about Nirvana, like they wouldn't literally say stuff that made sense. Yeah.
Jolie:And as an angsty teenager, you could just let
Nessi Gomes:Let
Jolie:and just go
Nessi Gomes:Rick and just go
Jolie:room to
Nessi Gomes:in the living room and see this song
Jolie:And it's the
Nessi Gomes:that didn't make any sense. Yeah. It's the same with music. It's like, it's not necessarily like the,
Jolie:some
Nessi Gomes:Some storyline lyrics. It's that you are all just
Jolie:immersed
Nessi Gomes:absolutely
Jolie:and it's
Nessi Gomes:in that feeling and it's capturing how and
Jolie:does. Yeah. I just
Nessi Gomes:it does. Yeah, I just feel like I'm singing sort of building song. I'm singing the wild part of themselves. I love that.
Jolie:which is
Nessi Gomes:Thank you.
Jolie:powerful in lockdown because we weren't able to be outside, and it gave us that freedom to
Nessi Gomes:It's that freedom
Jolie:with that part of ourselves when we
Nessi Gomes:part.
Jolie:indoors.
Nessi Gomes:Yeah I think for me, feeling is the first ingredient. I've got one song called Falling Birds on my album and I have no clue what it's about. when I started writing that song, it was after I was immersed in a 10 day silent retreat.
Jolie:Just
Nessi Gomes:playing the guitar and got into this trance-like state and then
Jolie:literally
Nessi Gomes:just visions and imagery was coming and I was just singing what was revealing itself. And I don't really know. Maybe there's little lines that I can associate with and be like, I know what that's about, I dunno what it's about as a whole song, but I love how it feels and I love the journey of that song, but feeling is really, I think also because growing up and listening to a lot of Portuguese folk music, my grandmother loved fado music, which is typical Portuguese folk music. And it's all about feeling, it's all about the emotion and the nostalgia Even though I'm not singing traditional fado music, I feel like that DNA is definitely embedded in my music. when I have played some concerts, people that are familiar with that type of music, recognize it in mine. when people come to me and say, oh, I really hear the fado in your music, I find that such a compliment, because it's really like my lineage and my DNA So it feels really special
Jolie:I think a lot of things that I do or talk about with people come back to the land,
Nessi Gomes:contact to the land. It seems like the man is so clean
Jolie:separated
Nessi Gomes:we're so separated from the,
Jolie:we don't realize how much
Nessi Gomes:but we don't realize how much it does us,
Jolie:it's to our, it's where our solars come
Nessi Gomes:where our soul has come from. It's actually
Jolie:But Part
Nessi Gomes:EY as well, but
Jolie:we're
Nessi Gomes:that we, yeah,
Jolie:a card?
Nessi Gomes:Let's do a card.
Jolie:Excellent. So there might be a bit of a
Nessi Gomes:So there might be a bit of a delay, I'll try and get the card that you want. Okay?
Jolie:tell me when to stop.
Nessi Gomes:Stop.
Jolie:So this is disappointment. So where have you felt disappointment in your life? Where has that come up?
Nessi Gomes:Hey, getting right in there. Disappointment. Oh, I think for me, disappointment, I felt a lot of disappointment last year I went through something really intense with my family. We went through a big tragedy it, was in the news and everything was very public about it. Not about my family specifically, but I think as an artist there's a lot of pressure people think because you have a platform that you should automatically be raising your voice. And because this particular thing had affected me so personally, it was very hard to meet my voice. It was actually the first time that I found myself in a place where I felt like my voice had gone silent. it was confronting because of the work I do with the voice and because I'm a musician this was always my safe space, I think there was a lot of pressure from the outside world having certain expectations of me as an artist and how I should put my voice out there. And I guess that made me feel disappointed, there is a lot of emphasis on raising your voice, It is tricky. It's a tricky thing and we have to honor people in where they're at in their life and we never know what journey people are going through, some people have more of a privilege to raise their voice than others, and I chose to not raise my voice as a way to protect my family. But yeah I felt a lot of disappointment last year in that sense. So disappointment has been really a big thing in my life in the last year and a half,
Jolie:I'm
Nessi Gomes:But not I'm feeling
Jolie:global
Nessi Gomes:a lot with global
Jolie:'cause I'm in
Nessi Gomes:because I'm in the piece here, I'm in the government tech, and
Jolie:been happening
Nessi Gomes:something's been happening where I feel like
Jolie:of the
Nessi Gomes:a microcosm of the macro going on, and there's like false, smooth, Fake news and things happening. Where I feel like I need to say something, I need to speak up. But as soon as I do, it
Jolie:and,
Nessi Gomes:Makes this a target and it make me like,
Jolie:And then at the
Nessi Gomes:and then at the same time I'm like, if I can't do this in the micro, then
Jolie:anything
Nessi Gomes:how am I meant to do anything in the micro? And I want to
Jolie:And I want to
Nessi Gomes:use my voice and I then
Jolie:anything
Nessi Gomes:how am I meant to do anything in the micro? And I want to
Jolie:and I want to
Nessi Gomes:use my voice and I want to speak up, I feel like the witch wound feeling that we are silenced and that it's scary to speak out.
Jolie:And there's something that I have experienced myself where I kind of got witch hunted
Nessi Gomes:of got
Jolie:years ago,
Nessi Gomes:a years ago,
Jolie:ironically, at a tutor reenactment.
Nessi Gomes:at a
Jolie:Sorry. It felt very witchy,
Nessi Gomes:felt
Jolie:Where I realized that.
Nessi Gomes:realized
Jolie:I wasn't saying that these people are necessarily evil, but evil was proactive.
Nessi Gomes:is
Jolie:If people are trying to mess with you,
Nessi Gomes:to
Jolie:then they're actively doing it. They're whispering in people's ears, they're dropping poison into people's ears. They're
Nessi Gomes:people's
Jolie:people's egos like they're manipulating the situation. And if you are not bothered, or you know, if you're just going back your everyday life being a normal person,
Nessi Gomes:normal
Jolie:not doing any of that.
Nessi Gomes:are not
Jolie:And so you realize that.
Nessi Gomes:you
Jolie:People have been turned, or, situations suddenly occurred and you see how a witch
Nessi Gomes:we
Jolie:craze could suddenly happen because
Nessi Gomes:happen because.
Jolie:someone said that's what's going on. the more you try and defend yourself the more it seems
Nessi Gomes:You
Jolie:untrue.
Nessi Gomes:seems
Jolie:it was just really shocking to experience that. And I see it brewing here. I can see bullying and
Nessi Gomes:bullying and
Jolie:happening I'm,
Nessi Gomes:happening
Jolie:that I need to speak up, but as soon as I do, it puts us in the firing line and that's really scary,
Nessi Gomes:and I think that's the thing as well. Like we've lost this ability to just be able to communicate Having a safe space to use our voice because there's always this encouragement like, yeah, use your voice, speak up, and then you will get demonized if you do use your
Jolie:Yeah.
Nessi Gomes:If your voice doesn't fit the narrative, you will get demonized. that's where I was at. my voice would not necessarily fit the narrative I think we've just lost this ability to hear each other out There are these varied feelings and experiences. The way we relate to certain things in life is all very different, We live in this point of time where, you get canceled if you are not saying the right thing or if your story doesn't fit the narrative, or, just think that's really sad. I think it's really unhealthy. I think to find compassion and we need to find patience and safety where we're at all. If it's not about us or about something that we see in the world, And to still find that common ground, even if our points are, coming from different angles. Do you know what I mean?
Jolie:Absolutely.
Nessi Gomes:I find that really, I guess that's a disappointment. Do you know what I mean?
Jolie:yeah.
Nessi Gomes:And
Jolie:It's exactly what I feel disappointed at, because the thing that I loved when I moved here
Nessi Gomes:love
Jolie:was the I'D lived for 20 years in Brighton
Nessi Gomes:years in
Jolie:was surrounded by, An echo chamber who all were right at the forefront of liberal ideals and,
Nessi Gomes:ideas
Jolie:Political correctness and pushing boundaries. And it was brilliant,
Nessi Gomes:and
Jolie:but we were all on the same page. And then to move here and be in amongst a community where we've got billionaires, Tobin men, and sun readers. To all of the different types of people that are not people I've had any interaction with for 20 years.
Nessi Gomes:for
Jolie:And we all get on and we all love the island and we all love living with each other and we look after each other and yeah, I'm one of the island weirdos, but that's fine. I was back in Essex as well
Nessi Gomes:back in
Jolie:and I'm used to that. But just to be part of that world, like we all love each other and we're all each other's weirdos and that's fine, when it starts feeling like there's shit staring going on and
Nessi Gomes:stir
Jolie:manipulation of the situation, you're like, why are you doing this? Because if we work together,
Nessi Gomes:work
Jolie:then we're going to, we be a beacon of light in what is otherwise a really dark world. Whereas actually what it feels like is
Nessi Gomes:what
Jolie:the poisons seeping in here and it's turning things here, and I just, I wanna try and fight that somehow. And it does feel like if you can do it in your little pixel,
Nessi Gomes:in your
Jolie:then that should affect the bigger picture. But it's how to do it without.
Nessi Gomes:How to do it without,
Jolie:Making your life a misery.
Nessi Gomes:Sorry. I hear you.
Jolie:Yeah.
Nessi Gomes:you.
Jolie:We'll do another card.
If you enjoy this podcast, then please consider supporting me on Patreon, which is patreon.com/jo Rose. It's. A way that I would love to earn a living, living on this tiny little rock. And I was talking today to someone where I was saying, yeah, I managed to live as an artist for 20 years. She'd gone to ballet school and we're talking about how hard it is to carve out a career in the arts. Even if you are an amazing ballet dancer and you do really well at ballet school, doesn't mean you're gonna get a career. And, um, she hadn't ended up. With a career as a dancer. And I said, well, yeah. I managed to, eke out a career as a performing artist for 20 years. She said, oh, congratulations. And I was like, yeah. Then I moved to Sock and now I'm a barmaid and I'm not. I said, I'm, I'm moving into writing more and doing the podcast and I absolutely love. Doing this. And if I could make this work as a full-time job, that would be incredible.'cause it takes time to do it. Wouldn't just be this, it'd be this and writing. And, you know, I, I put out lots of offerings for people to enjoy, including the moon ceremonies and my video blogs and articles I put in the Guernsey press I hold women's circles here on the island. On the whole, I try to make my offerings available for free so that anyone can join. There are things that I do charge for, but the majority of the work I put out is for free. And I do this so that it can be accessible to everybody, and therefore, if you have got. Some surplus funds, which I know increasingly people have less and less of. I totally appreciate that. But if you do have just three pound a month, like you would buy me a coffee to say thank you for the podcast, then you can support me over at Patreon with just the three pound a month tier. There's also a nine pound a month tier where you get the videos for the podcast and today's podcasts video's. Great. Nessie is so expressive. It's actually really fun to watch. I enjoy watching them. So you can. Pay a bit extra and, and get the videos, but I also, uh, put up other content and you get discounts on my workshops and, and the things that I do charge for. And you get the lovely warm glow of knowing that you are putting. Things out for other people that, means that they get things for free and get to enjoy them for free. I also, have some other offerings that are coming up, which include Beltane on Saturday, the 3rd of May, and this is. Not free during the day, but by donation. And that money goes to the Professor Saint Fund, which covers our costs for our prescriptions here on the island. And the evenings, it's 35 pounds to come along, and that's to cover the cost of the bands and for all of the lovely things that we. Put on for you. It's a brilliant day. We burn a wicker man. We have Morris dancing, we have maple dancing, and it's just a such a wonderful celebration of the island at her finest. Covered in blue bells and three cornered leak. Little white flowers like snow drops. The whole island is alive. I've been swimming every day this week. It is glorious. So do come if you're able to, it's worth traveling for. It's worth traveling from the UK for, highly recommend it. It is such a special day. So that's on Saturday, the 3rd of May ticket. It's still available, although we are running low and then we have. the Kooky Club on the 24th of April, which I've got a very exciting surprise guest. I always love it when I find out who the surprise guest is. I'm looking forward to this one a lot. And you can get the tickets for that on, Eventbrite Kooky Club. that's for Guernsey folk. And then my offering, that is available for anyone anywhere is the witch fall You Course that starts at the end of May. This is the deepest work that I do, supporting people to find their archetype and. It's, I can't really get across how nourishing this work is and what a benefit it has been to my life. I realized that too much choice made me a bit depressed, and I didn't really know what I was doing and where I was going. and by having the blueprint of your archetype. it's not that it takes away the choice'cause you can do whatever you want, but it gives you a blueprint for what you are. Textures are, what your color schemes are, what your season is, what your outfits are, what the, your, what's the lineage that you are part of, and it just gives you permission to fully own that. And I have found that incredibly useful. And I, and really I do it thoroughly, enjoy it. And I have planets that are mine. And so when movements in the planets and in astrology are happening. It feels like they're talking to me specifically because I feel connected to that planet. it just gives me a bit of guidance in what is otherwise complete nonsense and chaos and, holding through space on a lump of rock. Is it any of it? True? I don't care. It is whatever gets you through the night, eh, so you can't polish a turd, but you can roll it in glitter. And this is the glitter that I have rolled my life in, I am a sparkly pool. So that's my final offer. And now back. To the show.
Nessi Gomes:let's bring it
Jolie:Yeah. Let's see what we get next.
Nessi Gomes:see what we get
Jolie:this is the Night of Swords.
Nessi Gomes:of Swords.
Jolie:this is an air sign, which is to do with thinking and ideas but it's very swift,
Nessi Gomes:it's
Jolie:so he swiftly, it's almost like a dragonfly.
Nessi Gomes:like a dragon
Jolie:So what feels inspiring you and cutting through
Nessi Gomes:cutting
Jolie:the nonsense at the moment.
Nessi Gomes:sorts.
Jolie:he's got this sword out and he's just able to cut through anything that's holding him back.
Nessi Gomes:that's
Jolie:Sort of the opposite of disappointment, really,
Nessi Gomes:Disapp
Jolie:it feels like you're flying.
Nessi Gomes:I guess using my art really. I was getting very emotional about what was happening last year. my husband was like, put it into your art because you can just find yourself in this endless pit of opinions and Dark forces or whatever, and it's just like whenever you feel something, use it. Put your art there, bring your art into the picture. So I guess that's my inspiration and that's helping me. Get out of this kind of intense mind maze,
Jolie:It's what worked for you in the first place, isn't it? It's what helped you in the first place
Nessi Gomes:know, it's funny because it exactly that, and I forget,
Jolie:we all do.
Nessi Gomes:oh yeah.
Jolie:oh, I love doing yoga every morning.
Nessi Gomes:Yeah. that's why I love writing know, It is funny how we can be on this path for so many years and yet I can still be forgetful I can get so distracted from all the nonsense in life. I can get so triggered about certain things my mission right now is to. Stop putting that energy out where it's like all these leakages then focus it in and turn it into something poetic and beautiful. Turn that pain frustration and grief into poetry art and music maybe what I create in the near future. It might not necessarily touch anybody in the same way the last album did, but I don't care. Actually. To be honest, when I wrote that album anyway, it was for me, I never write for an audience. I, that's never like on my kind of priority list. Of course, I want people to love my music. I would be lying if I didn't say that. I want people to love what I do, but I just need to be true to myself and stay with. My authenticity and maybe people might not enjoy that but for me, I I think that's what's helping me with the sword.
Jolie:it sounds like it. Yeah, absolutely. my theater practice is a fool and we always call, put it in the play.
Nessi Gomes:put it in the
Jolie:And it is that thing of, that's why art is so wonderful is it stops it being the drama in your life and you take it and you put it into your artwork and then it's a healing, and then it's gold. that's why we're alchemists. We're turning that lead into gold, If you haven't got that, then you're just filling your life of drama all day long, and it. It festers and so it is a really wonderful thing.
Nessi Gomes:thing.
Jolie:I.
Nessi Gomes:see that with my dad, bless him. Like he's in his eighties and he listens to two radio stations at the same time. He is got LBC, like banging in one ear and he is got, I don't know b, C World news and the other ear like. He can be. He can be really negative about things and I just think if he was able to put his energy in because he was an artist at one he's very artistic, I think. I think for all of us really, whenever we have this pent up energy, it's just put it into something creative. It doesn't have to be music, it doesn't have to be painting. It can be like making a Being in your garden and arranging the flower bed or just using our hands, being in nature getting out of the head and out of this field that just wants to distract you and throw you into all these imaginary distractions.
Jolie:Absolutely. It's the great distractor.
Nessi Gomes:the great
Jolie:The great distractor is the absolute
Nessi Gomes:the
Jolie:enemy and is the commodity that they're trying to get us to buy into constantly. the more we are being distracted by scrolling scrolling or or whatever it is, I. We're consuming, and the more we're doing that they're slipping in their narrative. There's a narrative that we're being fed, and then there is,
Nessi Gomes:and
Jolie:and this is the music we listen to, and this is the things that we buy, and this is the food that you eat. And anything that's outside of that is what is that? it exists just as much as anything else does, but it's not being talked about in the mainstream media. And so you've not heard of it, but it doesn't mean it's not any more part of reality than anything else's. Let's do the last card.
Nessi Gomes:on I know. it's constant,
Jolie:you
Nessi Gomes:always trying to make myself use my phone less and a constant thing. if I wasn't needing my social medias for my music I would be out
Jolie:Yeah, me too.
Nessi Gomes:delete all my apps, but I need
Jolie:Yeah.
Nessi Gomes:it's okay, I've got manage this really carefully and I'm not always managing it carefully. I can waste my time significantly Yeah.
Jolie:Anyone gets anything done, to
Nessi Gomes:Oh God.
Jolie:Here we go.
Nessi Gomes:Okay. All righty.
Jolie:got death, the transformation card. It's the best card, isn't it? Yeah, it's my favorite card in the deck. does that mean to you?
Nessi Gomes:I feel like I've been going through a death, linked to this situation that we've been going through. A lot of what we held onto has died, has brought up a lot of grief, because it was. There was many things that I could really find myself in, like my community and my tribe and because of this tragedy that we went through, it was like all of that, went with it somehow. I haven't really the rebirth of it
Jolie:Mm-hmm.
Nessi Gomes:I feel like I'm still in the mud. I'm in this Space of even like all the things I feel like I've become quite cynical and don't want to lose my sense of wonder in life or, being connected to something greater than myself, I've been really in this kind of, I don't know what the word is, to reshuffle things and see where I'm sitting in life at the moment, what resonates and where I need to cultivate. Like I'm going back to PAMA in a couple of weeks. Actually. There's a thing called the spirit dance. Which is like a for night ceremony. I don't know so much about it, but I like all that witchy
Jolie:Mm-hmm. How did you get into it? Yeah. How did that come across your path?
Nessi Gomes:I used to live in Po Mama and it was like a mystery school. I think that's the best way to describe it. It's like a mystery eco village and I did the moon dance for three years, which is think it originated from Mexico. And we had a grandmother that taught us this ritual. you're basically dancing underneath the moon for four nights and singing songs. I was on the drum for four nights and you sleep in the day. you're dancing and praying to the moon in your witchy gear.
Jolie:That sounds so cool.
Nessi Gomes:no. It's
Jolie:They have.
Nessi Gomes:the moon dance is also in Switzerland now. My friend brought it to Switzerland. And it's very special.
Jolie:I'm very
Nessi Gomes:connected to that world, but I've also lost connection to it a little bit, and I don't do that stuff over here. Do you know what I mean? I'm just busy being a mom and taking care of my family if I'm not at home, I'm on tour. I just need, things in my life that take care of me and inspire me and, this theme of death, I feel like, really just trying to come out the other side and see what's left behind I'm not ready to let go of certain things in my life. Think I lost a lot of faith, I guess a lot. I lost trust life to some extent. And I'm trying to find my way back, like it's like I hear, I feel the pull and maybe there's been many times where I've just ignored that, those voices. it's such a big part of my life, but I'm learning I don't know,
Jolie:It's
Nessi Gomes:show up differently for me, but,
Jolie:are in the thick of it, you why it's interesting that you had the,
Nessi Gomes:interesting
Jolie:guy,'cause gonna cut through the, the clouds and the fog. At some point there's some kind of cutting through. when you are in the thick of the storm, you, the storm's your greatest teacher. It always will be. But when you are in the thick of it, you're still learning. You're and you can't force it to end quicker. You have to just sit with it until it's finished and then you look at it from the outside and go,
Nessi Gomes:the
Jolie:okay, I can make some meaning from that.
Nessi Gomes:meaning
Jolie:I can find some way of understanding that. But you need for it to fully play out before you can do that.
Nessi Gomes:that middle card makes even more sense now it's like being in fog and you can't quite see clearly you get a sense of something familiar, but it feels different and yeah. So that, that really resonates what you said there.'cause that's what I'm really, I'm in a good place. But there's been this thing we've been dealing with writing an album about the grief and everything will be so healing and. Might not resonate with anybody. I, but I don't, not my purpose. Do you know what I mean?
Jolie:Yeah.
Nessi Gomes:I feel like I just need to write this for my own kind of
Jolie:of everything.
Nessi Gomes:Release.
Jolie:Yeah.
Nessi Gomes:Yeah.
Jolie:And you're, you new mother as well, aren't you? I are still in the thick of being young mum. She,
Nessi Gomes:she's gonna be six. it is getting easier because back in the day we were always on the road together. We traveled as a family right up until started school. And that was actually a perfect time because it was tough for her, to be on the road. it's not a holiday, and sometimes people think, wow, you get to see so much of the world. I'm like, I don't see anything.
Jolie:Yeah.
Nessi Gomes:see airports, I see venues, I see, hotel rooms, but it's not like I'm going on a vacation now for two weeks to explore the city that I'm in. when Bodhi was on the road, when we all traveled as a family, it was hard for her to be away from home and not with her friends. she's old enough, my husband will stay at home with her if I'm on the road. yeah, we just always had to adjust our formula accordingly, but I am definitely a new mom to a little doggy, which I'm really excited for. My little dog has just joined our family. She's gorgeous. I was gonna have another one, but it didn't really work out that way. And that's okay. I'm actually happy. I don't think Bodhi would want to share me anyway. She's already made it very clear that she's not up for sharing me with anybody, so
Jolie:That's fair enough. as the final thing. Do you have a chaos crusade that you want to share? Something that people could do to
Nessi Gomes:could do to
Jolie:break the matrix or stop themselves from being caught in the distractor
Nessi Gomes:with
Jolie:way of life?
Nessi Gomes:whether
Jolie:think.
Nessi Gomes:are creative or not, just use your hands, make something for yourself or your loved ones. Make something for your children, or be in the garden. I feel like there's, we have these tools. We have our voice, we have our bodies, we have all these incredible kind of mediums that we can work with, I
Jolie:There's so much out there that
Nessi Gomes:tries to pull us away from our own internal wisdom. when we really get stuck into something,
Jolie:I'm in that space, when I'm,
Nessi Gomes:when I'm fully present in that
Jolie:its like, get
Nessi Gomes:all these downloads and this clarity
Jolie:To do something creative, even if you don't.
Nessi Gomes:think you're creative. Everything's possible, you know?
Jolie:Yeah, I fully agree.
Nessi Gomes:I
Jolie:I dunno how I would survive if I hadn't had creative things to do
Nessi Gomes:things
Jolie:just going for it and not worrying about how good it is. I think that is the thing, is people feeling like they're meant to be of some quality or standard and it's like, that's doesn't matter, like finger paint, you flick paint at a board. Like it doesn't matter what you're doing, it's just just the physical act of doing something. That stops you from just sitting and watching telly or scrolling on a phone because all you're ever doing is judging. and you're always judging yourself and being critical and as soon as you just start physically doing things, nothing ever turns out how we imagine it's going to ever. So there's a freedom there that you have to like learn to embrace where it's never gonna be how you're imagining it.
Nessi Gomes:absolutely.
Jolie:I you should come to SAR and do a recording. I be wonderful.
Nessi Gomes:I think because it's right on my doorstep. I feel way more intrigued by SOC than I do by her. I'm not really feeling her these days, but feels still very magical and
Jolie:just feel like.
Nessi Gomes:I came for a week or something and brought all my writing stuff I'm gonna give myself a little retreat, have little walks in the morning. Stay in a little, I don't know, hotel or whatever's available. get away from my family as much as I love them. and just immerse myself. And also because again, I love, I find being on an island, I love how dramatic the weather is and, it is, it's just, it's got these strong elements to. And I think
Jolie:My music.
Nessi Gomes:very much connected also to water. If I had to give it an element, it would be the water. And the waters are very diverse, because you have the stillness of the water, but you also have the crushing of the waves and
Jolie:Emotion
Nessi Gomes:I love
Jolie:beery as well.
Nessi Gomes:there can be a bit of fire in my music, but water is like the main element. The emotions, the feelings, fact like, yeah, like you walk around Sark and you again, you see the ocean and, and the cliffs and the vastness of it.
Jolie:huge. can be down on that beach on your own all day long, like we're always going, skinny dipping and you've just got that freedom to do whatever you want. So could sing your heart out to the cliffs and to the sea and no one would go down there and disturb you. So could completely lose yourself doing that. It it's great'cause there's a community there and there's people there for whenever you want to be around people. So at any point I can go, could party all night, every night if I wanted to. There's always something going on. it's actually a problem because you have to like manage yourself. I thought when I moved here from Brighton, it'd be like, oh, this is really chill. Nope, not at all.
Nessi Gomes:hilarious.
Jolie:can go to an afters. Everyone calls it an afters. You can go to an afters any night of the week if, especially if you are willing to host. There'll always be someone who's uh, up for coming back with you. it's also really easy to then go for walks and not see anyone and
Nessi Gomes:anyone.
Jolie:solitude experience as well. a writer and I love writing, and it's just like I'm on a permanent writing retreat here, except that I'm always busy and
Nessi Gomes:I'm in
Jolie:million things that I managed to get myself involved in, but it's perfect for being here.
Nessi Gomes:do you write more in the winter than in the summer?
Jolie:Big time. Yeah. And this winter was really short and I've now learnt to absolutely adore Winters because of that reason. And I feel like I pretty much just had January and February has gone in a second, and now we're halfway into March
Nessi Gomes:March
Jolie:feels like I'm meant to be doing the full blown, being alive and out there doing stuff thing again. And I'm a bit gutted.
Nessi Gomes:my year finished at the end of December. then I've, I did my online workshop, which always takes me a long time to prepare for. it consumes me weeks'cause I'm just dissecting it and not one of these people that can multitask. I can't getting on with writing music. And then also curating my online workshops, very much like one thing at a time. Get it out then I can just dive in and put all my energy into it oh man, I'd love to have a few more months of winter.'cause it's feel guilty if it's sunny outside and I write better and I'm not my songs are not like summer songs. what I mean?
Jolie:Howling wind.
Nessi Gomes:it.
Jolie:Yeah. Yeah, I totally get that. I've got a book that's about to get published, which is really exciting. And then I was starting the second one, which is a real beast because the first one's just my perspective,
Nessi Gomes:my
Jolie:that's how we had our first connection was through Ben Christie who set up the medicine festival.
Nessi Gomes:Ben
Jolie:Yeah.
Nessi Gomes:I used to live next door to him when,
Jolie:did you?
Nessi Gomes:yeah,
Jolie:helped me to create a pilgrimage to Cop 26 in 2021.
Nessi Gomes:2021
Jolie:one on my own in 2020, which is me to moving here.
Nessi Gomes:to
Jolie:In 2021, I was the cop, 26 was in Glasgow.
Nessi Gomes:in
Jolie:having done one walk on my own, I thought that I somehow had the expertise to be able to lead 26 people across the country and not get killed. And like, great, yeah, I can do that.
Nessi Gomes:Oh my God.
Jolie:And so Ben somehow found out that I was doing it and got in touch'cause they'd kind had some vision of. said, I'll help you, I'll support you to do it. And
Nessi Gomes:do
Jolie:favorite sentence ever is, do you want me to activate the Druids in the Isle of White? I was like, yes, activate the Druids in the it was brilliant. And we, yeah, we did seven.'cause it was called the Spine of Albion, which was the line that we walked up because we worked out where we felt like the seven chakra points were along the spine. And we did a ceremony in each place with the local wisdom keepers, whoever the local Druids and. Story keepers were of the land and yeah, it was amazing. And Sam Lee joined us and Chris Parks and all that lot.
Nessi Gomes:really, dear friend,
Jolie:wonderful. How
Nessi Gomes:he sings on diamonds and
Jolie:Oh, wonderful. Yeah, he's an absolute darling. Yeah, I've known him. really long time we did.'cause I'm part of this TUD reenactment, which is the reason why I moved here is someone who worked at the Tud reenactment with me came here as a horse and cart driver. Who's, do you know the Rex, do you know the band? The Rex?
Nessi Gomes:van?
Jolie:Do you know Ash? Yeah. He's got,
Nessi Gomes:little
Jolie:yeah, yeah, Yeah. So it's her, yeah, his partner.
Nessi Gomes:I don't know him
Jolie:know who he is?
Nessi Gomes:know who
Jolie:Yeah. So it's his partner an old, friend of mine from this Tudor reenactment. And so I've grown up doing mama's plays, which is folk theater. And so that was part of what we were doing as we walked up the line. But Sam Lee was part of Cecil Sharp House in London where they collected folk music and folk stories, and we did mama's plays there in our twenties, so yeah, quite a long time ago now. 20 years ago. I've known him for ages. It's been great watching his career unfold as well. And you doing amazing things.
Nessi Gomes:I've known Sam like 15 years. It's when I left Rica, then I moved to England. And he had Nest Collective, and I think I played at one of his events But he's a really dear friend and I love him
Jolie:Yeah.
Nessi Gomes:He does the Nightingales
Jolie:It's wonderful.
Nessi Gomes:special.
Jolie:He's such a kind soul. Yeah. I'm hopefully gonna interview him at some point as well. He said that he's up for doing it.
Nessi Gomes:amazing.
Jolie:Been nice.
Nessi Gomes:Oh, tell him that I've had a nice
Jolie:Yeah. Thank you so much for your, um, workshop. It was so beautiful. I loved it.
Nessi Gomes:Thank
Jolie:Yeah,
Nessi Gomes:really enjoyed it as
Jolie:yeah,
Nessi Gomes:Like I get so stressed
Jolie:know.
Nessi Gomes:it's just'cause I feel like I'm in the hands of technology it's such a large group of women, God, just please behave.
Jolie:That's how I feel about this. it's just really annoying. Technology's a bastard.
Nessi Gomes:you really enjoyed
Jolie:Yeah, it was wonderful. It was beautiful and I was an emotional wreck, but yeah, it was beautiful.
Nessi Gomes:Oh, it though. I love to make it really dynamic. Do you know what I mean? for me, it's not just going right, okay, let's just open our
Jolie:No.
Nessi Gomes:it's like how to weave in the magic All these different mediums and art to make it a bit more juicy.
Jolie:I like the idea of the Ayahuasca.'cause I've done Woca twice and they've both been incredibly profound experiences.
Nessi Gomes:experiences and the second
Jolie:I had this real desire to sing, but it just cannot do it. I find it so hard to sing in public and could feel my throat and my voice were desperately trying to just sing. was in a place where I just didn't feel, I the place was great. The people I was with, I felt safe with, but it was, there was lots of people and they were very talented and musical and
Nessi Gomes:Yeah,
Jolie:yeah. It's interesting. I wonder if, I could take Kyle score on my own and just go sing to the cliffs, but that sounds really dangerous. But yeah, it's an interesting idea. Definitely.
Nessi Gomes:it definitely,
Jolie:Definitely.
Nessi Gomes:contributed to where my voice is And I think for, I've spoken to quite a few people that it's just ignited this creative in terms of music is something so profound. It's happened to me like a number of times on Ayahuasca, and I've done many ceremonies, but maybe a handful of times where I've had this very special and unique experience where I'm opening my mouth and it's literally like. It's obviously my voice, but there's something
Jolie:Yes.
Nessi Gomes:through the
Jolie:Yeah. And
Nessi Gomes:it's,
Jolie:like,
Nessi Gomes:you are like, oh my
Jolie:yeah, totally.
Nessi Gomes:like you're just, are in awe and you just can't believe like you, which is also one of the reasons, meeting with the spirit of your voice which is the subtitle of my workshops. That was also an inspiration for, because it was this feeling of the spirit the plant coming through my voice and I was just literally being available and being this channel. it doesn't surprise me that you felt this, need or impulse to sing,
Jolie:Big time.
Nessi Gomes:I've also heard a lot of people say that in general when they're with the medicine, they don't freak out as much as they do when in day to day
Jolie:Mm-hmm.
Nessi Gomes:I guess it just softens you and you are in a different place, you know you are. And so that brings a different quality to. you are bringing your voice to the moment.
Jolie:totally.
Nessi Gomes:like a performance.
Jolie:Yeah.
Nessi Gomes:I really hear what you're saying and I'm not surprised that you felt that
Jolie:Yeah. I was literally fighting it back, which is silly. I should have just done it. But I have had my voice be clear and beautiful twice. I've had that experience of it being. From another place. Once when I was at drama school,'cause we had to sing in public then, and it was almost like the emotional intensity of just doing, I just did it and everyone cried their eyes out and knew how big a deal it was for me to be doing it. And they were like, that was something else that sang then. And it was beautiful. And then I knew I could do it,
Nessi Gomes:I could
Jolie:but.
Nessi Gomes:Yeah.
Jolie:Then it never came back. And then had a massage once that dislodged something in my throat and suddenly I, had a voice, my singing voice was there
Nessi Gomes:this
Jolie:way that it isn't normally. And then
Nessi Gomes:then
Jolie:the end of the last pilgrimage we did, there's this statue of Artemis, which we sang Savage daughter to the statue at the end of this pilgrimage.
Nessi Gomes:end
Jolie:all of us, our voices just
Nessi Gomes:just
Jolie:out and tears streaming down our faces and yeah, that was a,
Nessi Gomes:But
Jolie:a beautiful moment. So I know it's possible.
Nessi Gomes:from just hearing your speaking voice I can sense that there's a lot of power in your voice sometimes, like there's many, I don't know I think a good practice, maybe like something for you to, sorry, this is not, you haven't asked for this, but I just feel inclined to maybe share it with you, but. I think like dropping this kind of idea that our voice needs to be pretty and beautiful, even just spending like five minutes a day with yourself and purging whatever wants to come out not being afraid of sounds that feel not beautiful, or if it's feeling rusty and croaky and it's like we have to also embody that part of ourselves as well. Do you know what I mean? To embody and be familiar with the guttural part of our voice and raspy horse part of our voice to give space to all those different layers. Do you know what I mean? I feel like just from speaking to you, I can sense that there's a real richness there. Maybe it's something that we need to do and I say we, because it's also something I need to do for myself. It's giving myself that time, I'm not talking about practicing'cause practicing's just dry we need to cultivate that relationship. It's not something that we can pick up and put down. With massive gaps in between but just be like I'm gonna offer my voice today. I'm gonna offer my voice and give it five minutes even. Maybe record yourself on your phone or offer my voice to my beloveds. finding something that helps us to be in service. and maybe that's why also when you talk about what you did in this little ceremony with all the women, it's like you're offering it to, it comes with a different quality because it's not about you, it's not coming. And it's like we can somehow bypass those voices in our head that tell us that we're not good or shit or whatever our story is, the moment we come from a place of being in service, it brings a different quality. if those. Little voices do come in and start to create this tension. Then sing the resistance. sing the murkiness and the fucked up voices that are like telling us that, oh yes. You know, like Make, you know, like be playful of it and maybe you do this already, so forgive me
Jolie:No,
Nessi Gomes:like
Jolie:I fully get what you're saying and I agree with Liz because it is, what I can feel has happened when it has come through of, was the emotion that was leading rather than the head. it was'cause I was being in service of something that meant more than the story, like the, head story.
Nessi Gomes:head
Jolie:Yeah.
Nessi Gomes:this always helps me, even when I'm doing big gigs and stuff, you can get pretty overwhelmed when you're seeing. Many people in the audience, and it's like, right, in service to something and I put my intention there it just helps me drop away from my head it's not to say that I don't go there. I judge myself. I can easily, criticize my expression and my voice, coming back to the heart and coming from that place of service, brings a very different energy it takes the focus away from how we sound, but giving it like, like a child, it's not about technique. I think sometimes people can be really spot on with technique, they're lacking soul and this extra ingredient that just moves you. It's like when you hear a kid a song, and maybe they're not singing it perfectly in tune, but you feel the sincerity of the moment and you're taken by how much they are connected to that moment and how much they're giving themselves so fully with totality. And that's what grabs you. And I think if we can learn from that and
Jolie:think it.
Nessi Gomes:it is that cultivation and. Taking care that we don't just pick it up day and then don't tend to it for a whole It to all of a sudden it's a relationship. It's something that we need to tend to and build, a connection with. With patience and compassion and gentleness. And if those emotions do come to the surface, the judgments, then to sing that or to voice that and to, know, it doesn't even have to be beautiful. We need to drop this kind of that things have to be beautiful all the time, we just need five minutes of sounding completely
Jolie:Mm-hmm.
Nessi Gomes:to like wade through all the stuff that we've collected, like you said we carry wounds that aren't even ours. Do you know what I mean? Like our lineage, like if we think of all the women that came before us, and especially like from the witch trials, there was this experiment, About a couple of years ago they did it on mice. I can't remember, like they gave little electric shocks mice and then those mice had babies. It was to the smell of cherry
Jolie:That's right. I've heard of this. they kept electrocuting them with a smell. Yes.
Nessi Gomes:And so when the, mice had babies and they smelt cherry blossom, it would give them the same reaction, even though they had not lived
Jolie:never been electrocuted. Yeah.
Nessi Gomes:had
Jolie:Yes.
Nessi Gomes:I think about that as women
Jolie:Yeah.
Nessi Gomes:and how, we are carrying hundreds of years of, oppression and, things that our, before us may have carried. And so the blocks that we feel or the fear around expression and this witch wound that you spoke about. feel like can be very connected to that. It's not even ours. that's why we need to do the work as well, to clean it
Jolie:Yeah.
Nessi Gomes:we can, create a new story and a new narrative for what goes ahead,
Jolie:Thank you. That's wonderful. I've got a little workshop there.
Nessi Gomes:there you go,
Jolie:Cheers, darling. No, I love it. It was so wonderful. That's what was so beautiful about being in your workshop. It it was coming from that place. And that speaks so much more to me than technique and
Nessi Gomes:technique.
Jolie:as exactly what falling is. The falling is theater, but without the. This is a certain technique. This is Stanis Lasky, this is Brett. It's all about emotion and it's about putting it in the play and it's improvising and it's working with archetypes it's the theater department what you are talking about and it's really powerful and wonderful and love it.
Nessi Gomes:Yeah,
Jolie:So you speak my language. Thank you, my darling.
Nessi Gomes:baby. babe.
Jolie:Okay, well thank you I shall see you soon and um, forward to seeing you in person.
Nessi Gomes:love.
Jolie:Bye-bye.
Nessi Gomes:Thank you.
How awesome was Nessie? I feel like I've met a soul family connection in meeting Nessie. She's someone that I um, instantly at ease with, would very happily sit in a cafe and chat to for hours over a slice of cake. And I'm not that. I'm good at close. I'm a far person. Really good at far. I had no problem whatsoever with getting on the stage at BoomTown and talking to tens of thousands of people. Well, I didn't talk actually, but my words were on the screen, but I was performing in front of tens of thousands of people and that. It's less scary to me than it is to go and meet someone in a cafe and sit close to them and do eye contact. I think I'm slightly on the spectrum ever so slightly Wanna meet isms as my dear friend, little Grace puts it. What's your isms? I definitely have a bit of an ism of some description and I find close really difficult, But being close to Nessie didn't feel at all difficult, and she feels like a soul family collection, and I'm really looking forward to spending time with her. I can't recommend her workshop enough. It was extraordinary, and I'm still feeling the repercussions of it reverberate through my life. My voice feels stronger and more connected. It was such a warm, nourishing. Supportive space and I definitely will do more. I would love to go do a workshop with her in person. She does, in person retreats, just absolutely can't get enough of her. Her music's amazing. She's amazing. Her workshop's amazing. So if you don't already know Ness work, then tune in, get involved. You will not regret it. It's absolutely beautiful. highly recommend putting on Nessie, learning her songs, getting used to her songs, and then singing along with them.'cause we did that at the start of the workshop. And it's a great voice warmup, vocal warmup because she's so emotionally connected in her singing. It's a great place to start for then, like she says, singing and honoring whatever it's, you wanna honor that day. That is a brilliant. Exercise. I feel like that's a chaos crusade in it. Its own right to sing. I keep talking about with several guests. the Sami tribe with the Oiks singing to the forest and singing to the wind. I think that you could warm up with Nessie songs and tune into where she's reaching into within herself and her connection to the natural world. And then go for a walk in the forest and just sing to the forest. And that would be your creative act for the day in devotion to the beauty of the land that you're walking through. And I am blessed over here with Stark'cause that's just, it's showing off over here. It is. So I'm gonna go crack on what we're doing that go for a walk and enjoy this beautiful island and sing to it. Nessie Gomez Starley. So thanks, Nessie, that was wonderful. Thank you darling listener for being here. I hope you enjoyed it and I shall see you again next week. See you the anon.