#25 People Are the Problem... But is Community the Answer?

Some miracles took place this week. In the podcast you hear me casting a spell to break my bonds with feelings of inadequacy, unappreciation and disconnection around my relationships having had a wake up call that had shown me that my perspective wasn't the only one in the mix. 

Magically, having cast the spell and broke these bonds, the next day, as I was recording this podcast, I found myself chatting to three people over messenger who I don't normally connect with, and it made my heart sing. It absolutely felt like a little Christmas miracle and has given this festive season an extra bit of sparkle. 

The Winter Solstice is all about community, and in this week's episode I talk about how I've come to realise the importance of community, how it's a vital investment for the future, and also - in the words of Heather Sanderson - community it’s an ongoing conversation around how we share space. Planet Earth is all our space, so how we negotiate living on her and sharing this space in the future, feels like it's the key to whether we thrive or have to fight to survive. 

The music and artwork is by @moxmoxmoxiemox

Nonsense in the Chaos is available on all podcast platforms or you can listen to it here… https://nonsenseinthechaos.buzzsprout.com

I'd love to know what you think! If you want to get in touch with me about anything on the podcast then email nonsenseinthechaos@gmail.com or you can follow me on Instagram and Bluesky @kriyaarts or at the Nonsense in the Chaos Page on Facebook.

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Thank you for all your support -x-

Transcript

0:04

The mountains and the caves. Wicked witches. Crusting the unknown. Transcribed by https: otter. ai Welcome to the Nonsense in the Chaos. I'm your host, Jodie Rose. It's 16th of December and I have the fire lit, so you'll be able to hear that crackling in the background. it's been the full moon. I was actually meant to be holding a women's circle this evening and we would be doing that tomorrow. Now, but unfortunately people were ill and tired. And so we didn't do it, which is fine. These things happen. I had a lovely ceremony last night online, which you'll be hearing about. I did some recording on the podcast afterwards because so much has come up to do with the theme, which is, the winter solstice. So we're heading towards the winter solstice, which is the 21st of December. I always feel like it's the beginning of my birthday, like birthday week, a long birthday week. Cause my birthday is New Year's Eve. And so the winter solstice, cause I, as a. practicing which the Gregarian calendar doesn't mean anything to me. New Year's Eve doesn't actually mean anything as New Year's Eve, but we do collectively celebrate it and write resolutions it is my new year because it's my birthday. So I always just think that's my birthday and that's why I celebrate it. I invite people out to come and play and party with me because I feel like a lot of people struggle with new year because of the pressure to have even more fun than you normally do. Whereas I feel like if you're celebrating someone else's birthday, takes the pressure off and it's celebrate my birthday instead. And it does mean that I've never had a choice but to party. The one year, it was my 30th, I decided I wanted to not get completely wasted and be well behaved and have a well behaved birthday and it ended up being more of a nightmare and more hard work we still got off our faces but rather than having arranged ourselves and sorted ourselves out so that we had the right booze and hangover things and just all the stuff that you need if you are going to be having a party. We just ended up scrambling having to get it all together last minute because yeah, our wills all gave in and we were all like, I know, let's just get some booze. that was a lesson to me that actually don't ever fight it. You're born on New Year's Eve, you were born to party, what are you going to do? Just crack on. every new year I do have a party. I always celebrate and I think it's quite useful for people to have something else to focus on. So I'm here for everyone in that way. You're welcome. the winter solstice is the beginning of my birthday week, 10 days to my birthday. You have Christmas in the middle of all that. I love Christmas because it is my birthday week and I have no choice about all the stuff that happens in my birthday week. And so you either fight it and get huffy about it or you fully embrace it and go this is all part of who I am. And it is, and I love it. I talk about this after the full moon ceremony yesterday about how the solstice is all about. So without further ado, I'm going to hand over to past Jolie and she'll talk to you more about this and then you'll come back to present day Jolie, who will probably be past Jolie by the time you're listening to this, but not as past as yesterday's past. It's getting very confusing and meta. And then I'm going to pull a Rune. So I'll hand over to past Jolie and leave you in her capable hands. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. It is the Gemini full moon and I have just held a ceremony online and it's 20 past 11 at night and the moon is big and bright in the sky this is the last full moon before the end of the year and Gemini is all about bright, quick, teenager y energy. If you imagine like Twin teenagers in a bedroom chatting away with each other. Our ceremony tonight was very light and airy and fun and we talked about what our year had been like and shared what our lessons had been and how we Yeah, how we'd evolved what we'd learnt from, what we wanted to let go of, and what things felt like they could be left behind as we move into the new year. And then we wrote an integrity list of things that we want to, develop, or anything that we want to do in order to make our hearts as light as a feather. So there's the Egyptian god, I think it's Nuit, but I might be wrong, where when you die you meet This God and you put your heart on the scales and in the other scale is the feather and it's about is your heart as light as a feather and what you need to do to clear up for that. So what do we need to clear up in the new year to be able to mean that our hearts feel that light. I've written a list of things to, clear up and sort out so that we can move forwards into the new year feeling light and free. in front of me, I've got two candles burning with a piece of tied between them. It's going to set on fire and any moment the string is going to set on fire. it's in front of the star card, the star tarot card, and the star card is about us being the biggest, brightest version of ourselves. So there's the little spark that made us when that sperm hit the egg and it popped and made us these living beings that are us. And we're carrying around that little spark within us, but for that spark to be fully embodied and for us to be the biggest, brightest version of ourselves, there are things that we need to grow and step into and embrace. the star card is the Aquarius card and we've now entered the age of Aquarius. So this is the era for us to shine bright and be our brightest selves. But what do I need to let go of? And so in front of I have these two candles burning and the piece of string burning in the middle is my, relationship to community and worrying about people liking me and feeling like people owe me something My expectation of people was to be invited to go to things, and I got really upset last Sunday that I didn't get invited to a meal. That was all the girls of the island went out for this meal, and I'm friends with a lot of them, and the people who organized it I'm friends with. And I got really sad, had a big cry, and got really upset. then last night, which was the last night of Mercury Retrograde, the Gemini full moon. Everyone went nuts. It was a full blown teenage Eastenders night of fights and mayhem and just absolute craziness. my friend who also wasn't invited to the meal said something to one of the girls who organized it. She got really upset, pulled a load of people in. to join in with the conversation, which meant my friend felt quite teamed up on. I got pulled into it because she'd mentioned that I'd been crying, which I really didn't want to be mentioned, that was embarrassing as hell. But it got pulled in and discussed and the girl turned around to me and said, but you don't ever invite me to anything. And it was such a revelation because you spent your whole life looking at things from your perspective. And that's not the only perspective. And so this thing of enemies or fallings out, anything where you feel at odds with something. The fake news that's in the world, the one thing it's teaching us that's useful, is that truth doesn't really exist. I was just saying, you have the binary opposition, so you have your perspective and the other person's perspective, and there's this place where they meet, but on a molecular, level, there is no place where these two opposites meet. Two edges of a thing, like in the physical world, like the edge of a place, a placemat on a table and then the table. The further in you go on a molecular level, there keeps still being a gap. So there is just this continuous gap and that's where the fool resides. That's that slippery place between the binary oppositions. when does summer become winter? There's this autumn and spring, which is this really magical time, but there isn't an exact moment. There's a dovetailing and an interlocking and a compromising it's not clear cut. That person's version and your reality, there's this place in the middle where you compromise and connect and forgive I had such a revelation last night of no, you're right, I haven't invited you to things and actually I'd love you to be there. I'm really sorry that I hadn't thought to do it. And it was such a wake up call. so I've just written a list of people that I want to make more of an effort with who I've been like they don't like me But actually, yeah, how much of an effort have I been making with them? And so that's been a huge revelation. I'm burning these chords because also there are people who I just think I might be burning my bridges with Because of the politics of things or whatever like there are things that are happening that I don't know whether that's repairable and I don't know whether there was enough friendship there to begin with to Repair it I just maybe have to let that one go we're not each other's people in another place in time, maybe, but in this place in time, it's not happened, and that's okay. It's all right. And so also letting go of people and that's all okay. So that's what I'm burning and literally it's going to set fire any seconds. That's exciting. And this is what, the spells are. It's just physically doing something in the world and by me doing this it got the ball rolling. It's like taking the first step on a pilgrimage. You end up walking 500 miles by taking that first step and that's what I feel like these little spells are, is taking that first step. Towards the thing that you want to create and towards the way you want to be. And so this is step one and I have these beautiful cards in front of me. So I've got the hermit and the adjustment card and that's what I was just talking about with this little spark that created you that becomes the star card. The hermit's holding it in his lantern and it's about doing that inner work and taking that journey and stepping into the darkness with your little spark and going for it. And then at some point, hopefully becoming this biggest, brightest version of yourself. And then the adjustment card is Egyptian goddess with the scales. And it's not just about balance. It's about adjusting. what happened last night, me adjusting how I feel about the situation and being willing to meet someone halfway and go Oh, do you know I hadn't looked at it from your point of view and now that I have I'm going to adjust and let that go, and, do things differently myself. And then the other two cards, which are to do with the spectrum that we're on, which is this Gemini Sagittarius spectrum. So the Gemini is the student, it's the young teenage student who's full of ideas and vigor. And then there's the, Sagittarius Energy, which is the professor, the philosopher, the one who knows. the card for Gemini is the Lover's Card. And that's about the alchemical marriage between your inner and outer world. it's about you learning to love your shadow, your inner world, your imagination, the inner child within you. how to marry it love it learn to do that work and invite the inner world into the outer. And this art card is this being that is the yin and yang is these two halves that are balanced. And now they're pouring potions into a cauldron and making things happen. So once you're in this place where you've done the work, and you've done this inner and outer work, You then are in a position to be able to do stuff, like what are you going to create? What is it that you're, how do you turn your shit into gold? If bad things have happened to you, how do you turn it into art? How do you turn it into medicine for other people? How can you be a support to other people going through what you've been through, who maybe haven't done the work yet and are a bit further behind where you're at in the process? We've entered this age of Aquarius and we're about to enter the new year and The winter solstice the solstice is all about community. that is for me, the key thing that, I'm taking forward into the new year. what I, want this podcast to be about is community. What is community? the reason I became so focused on community was from doing the pilgrimage to COP 26, we walked up to COP 26 asking people, because we were listening to the land. And so instead of walking up there going, we need to do this, or we should do that. It was about listening to people and going, what do you want us to say to the delegates? What's the message you want us to pass on? the places that felt the most resilient with what's going on in the world, the places that felt like moving forwards were, Possibly going to be okay with the places that were a community and were working together, especially in the borderlands, between Manchester and Edinburgh. It was vast. We got to Manchester. It was like, Oh, we're basically there. We had another two weeks walking. We'd walked for four weeks. We had another two weeks walk till we got to Edinburgh. And it was like, what's up there? There's places like Kendal and Kirkby Lonsdale and like just places I'd never heard of before. I'd heard of Kendal Cakes, but. It was these places I hadn't heard of before, they didn't expect Westminster to sort them out. They had been getting on with it themselves. They had community gardens where they made food, and then they'd have meals together. And they had book clubs where they explored climate change through books, reading books about it. And they, had planted things and had, change the biodiversity of their local area because they kept getting flooded instead of waiting for someone to do something about it they planted gorse or they went and planted the forests that used to be there that had been cut down and therefore it had caused the flooding. They were opening community shops when their local Londis just died. They were like we'll run our own shop and they opened a community shop. So it just felt like there was a lot of people doing things for themselves. And so that's what really inspired me to do then more like work around community. And then moved here and became part of a community in a way that I'd never done before. I'm learning so much. from it. I'm learning so much about myself from it, and I'm learning so much about the world. And the reason why that's relevant with the winter solstice is that the summer solstice is about nature. It's the celebration of nature at her fullest and most alive. The winter is when nature is dead and silent and still, and it's about community. that's when people are having to survive the winter together and look after each other and come together. that's where the whole of christmas comes from all of the present giving and seeing your family is because it's the time of year where we had to look after each other if we didn't the old people the sick and the weak would die we needed to take care of each other or your neighbors that had a bad harvest something went wrong they had a bad year and it meant that They're without as much, produce as you had. And so you're sharing your food, and your stuff with each other. That's what this is about, this time of year. for me to have just had this Gemini full moon, and it be this real revelation, because it's been like, I'd say, of this year, the thing that I've just let go of. in the ceremony just now we wrote three pages really quickly about what the story of the year had been. including the grievances, it wasn't about this being shared with anyone. I even said you could go away and burn it or bury it or get rid of it if you want to. it was just to get the, Ickiness out the gunk you want to get rid of and not carry into the new year Quickly write three pages, which we did the gunk for me was feeling like People hadn't accepted me or welcomed me in to the community and feeling, you know left out And that's what I wanted to let go of what's amazing is just as I said that the strings caught on fire on my spell And now that's what's burning Being let go of as we speak So what's burning right now and that I'm letting go of is feeling like I'm not good enough, that I'm not wanted, that I'm being ignored, that anyone owes me anything. Because what I learned last night from this Gemini full moon and from the interactions that we had was that actually people feel left out themselves and they feel that I'm not including them and that I'm not making an effort. And so I need to make more of an effort. it might be that's bullshit and they're still not going to include me, even if I do, but I'll live into the possibility that they do want to be part of my world and involved in the things that I'm doing and actually they were waiting to be invited and they feel ignored themselves. if that is true, and if I therefore then start inviting people and connecting with people and things change, then wonderful. If it doesn't, and it turns out to be bullshit, then I know I can let that go. I've done as much as I can. But I don't think that will be the case. I feel like as soon as you treat people differently to how you have been treating them, if things aren't working, it means you have a particular listening for those people. if things don't work with your relationship with your parents, for example, it's because you've got a filter on your listening and everything they're saying to you, you're hearing through that filter. if you take that filter off and listen to what they're saying as I love you, and I want to connect with you and hear them from a completely different place, you will have a different reaction from them. I've done this time and time again, where I've been in experiences where I felt like a person is doing a certain thing with being a certain way. And then I've changed my listening for them and it's completely changed our relationship and miracles can happen from doing this. So I'm going to live into the possibility of miracles happening this year. the relationships that I have with people completely transforming and becoming lovely, beautiful, sparkly relationships where we're encouraging each other to be our biggest, brightest selves and celebrating each other and having a laugh having loads of fun and feeling lots of love and connection for each other. So that's what I'm stepping into and I'm going to create this year and I've got the string on fire in front of me and it's burning down into salt and chilli and lemon juice and so it's going to be quite a magical spell kicking off below me. I might have to put it out if it gets out of hand. But yeah, so there's winter solstice and I'm stepping into the new year. We have, it's a nine year, so this year was an eight year. If you add two, twenty, twenty four, so you add two, add four, equals eight. And eight is the number of life force energy. So this year's been a very frenetic, high energy year of birthing things, lots of birthing and pregnancy and, like it's the energy of being able to create life. So it's a big powerful energy. But at the same time, you could easily find yourself being burnt out. you need to be a fit receptacle. I tried really hard to be a fit receptacle. I did morning practices regularly, not every day, but almost every day. I'd go through phases of doing it every day and then I'd slip out of it for a bit possibly. that morning practice is doing yoga, meditating, pulling a card and just doing that to start my day. it helps me to start in a really clear, relaxed way. I feel pretty rubbish when I don't do it and I've done that nearly every day I've tried to keep fit. Eat the right foods and all these different things, but it wasn't enough and I spent most of this year being burnt out and feeling really burnt out. Next year is a nine year, which is a much more gentle energy. It's the precursor to the 10 year, which is the year of fruition. if you imagine that 2026 is going to be the year where the things you're dreaming and trying to create come into fruition, next year is about tilling the land, preparing the land. this year was about infusing it with life force energy. next year is about giving it a light airing, fluffing up the soil, getting everything ready, planting the seeds. the next year will be the year that these seeds grow and you'll harvest them and they'll come into fruition. Which takes the pressure off in a way. But yeah, it gives it a bit of space and it means that we'll be, having a much gentler time next year. And I'd say the motto for next year is getting more from less. Find a patch of grass that you decide is your favourite patch of grass, and spend time sitting with that patch of grass. Sitting with trees, Gordon talks about, and like having your back against the tree, and just, spending time with trees, really connecting with nature, very much like enjoying a herbal tea. Don't just shovel food into your mouth, eat. a mouthful of food and put the fork down and wait until you finish that whole mouthful before you eat the next one. Just do things mindfully and, intentionally and slowly and I think that's going to be really good for us in the next year. do the methodical slow gentle work towards whatever it is you want to create for the year after, my flames are flaming. That spell is complete. so mote it be, So that's the end of my Gemini ceremony and spell and I feel like I've shed and let go of what needs letting go of And yeah, looking at community and how best to support and serve community so that we can look after each other moving forwards. Taking care of each other in a world where, you know, the powers that be, whatever that is, whatever they are, but just not expecting people to look after you, but to look after each other. And how to be there for each other, how to be a fit receptacle, how to be a tank girl, be as strong and as fit and as mentally sound as you can be spiritually solid and open and loving so that you can be of service and support each other so that we can survive and thrive in the future. And that is what I am creating and stepping into and working towards. I need to do some adjusting, change my course a little bit, I need to change my attitude a bit, my headspace and enter this new year believing that people want to meet me connect with me spend time with me and are waiting for me to Invite them into my world I invite you all into my world Connect with me join with me do things with me don't be shy we're all being shy thinking it needs to be initiated by the other person I felt like it needed to be initiated by the people who already lived here and I've realized that I was wrong and that actually they want me to initiate I would love to spend time with all of you and be part of everybody's life. just let me know. I would love to do it. there'll be more, to this conversation that I'm going to record, tomorrow when it's not the ceremony evening, but I just wanted to share all of this now, because. It's fresh and it's a special night. Now I'm going to go out and hang out with the meme. If you enjoy this podcast, then please consider supporting me on Patreon, which is patreon. com forward slash Jolie Rose. This is something that I would like to become my full time job. I'm currently doing this part time while also working in a bar, and it's something that in the new year I'm hoping to grow and develop. I've thoroughly enjoyed. the ones that I've made this year, 24, 25 episodes. It might be 26, by the time I finish. I will be wrapping up season one at the end of the year. this is the penultimate episode. And then I have one last exciting episode with Daisy Rickman, who used to be my cleaner, which is just, crazy. She's the most ethereal. Imagine Kate Bush being your cleaner. That's basically the situation that we have here. She was my cleaner back in Brighton many years ago. And then she moved back to Mousel in the West country. we've stayed in touch. when I've been doing the pilgrimages, I had a glorious moment with her playing the cello whilst one of the pilgrims fire span. And then we performed a very quiet version of George and the Triton. because there was a seal with her pup in the neighbouring cove and we didn't want to disturb them so we did everything quietly. we quietly serenaded and performed to the sea at the ends of the lines after we'd walked the Michael and Mary lines But we got to Kenlabole and there was a seal there. we went to the next Kovalong camp right on the shore. And we performed literally right on the edge of the land. It was marvellous and magical. Just remember her playing the cello by Firelight and she's stunning. She's got really deep, very husky, sexy, very deep voice. Like almost manly but she's such an ethereal being. And yeah, it was really nice to chat to her. that's how I'll be ending. She's become quite famous. She was listed in the Guardian at the beginning of this year as being like the one to watch she's been selling out and is becoming big. I talked to her about fame and success and I actually did a ceremony with her afterwards where I did a congratulations. Thank you very much. Universe Thank you very much. life for giving me what I've been given I did that for her because sometimes we don't know when You know, how does one measure when one is successful and one, to stop and acknowledge the things that have happened in your achievement. So I just said to her, would you like to do a ceremony? So after we recorded the podcast, I did a ceremony with her, which was really nice. I'm very proud of her and she's so lovely and she deserves it. she's a very talented, beautiful being. I am going to be having a break for January, February, and I'm going to be writing my second book. So I'm writing a series called Walking with Autumn, which is based on the pilgrimages that I walked, the ley line is known as the Michael line, then there are two energy lines that interweave around it, and the, vertical ley line, which is the spine of Albion, and they cross over, so they make like a St. George's cross over the land of Albion of the UK, and, I have walked there and back again in both directions. Covering about 2000 miles, they're both about 500 miles long. I've traveled from West to East, from South to North, from East to West and from North to South. a whole mythology and magical thing unfolded and so I've written that into a book and I've started with book one which I wrote last year and this year I'm going to write book two. I am looking for a book deal if any publishers are out there who might be interested or you know anyone that I could send it to. I could self publish it. I have been published before so I've got the accolade of having been published unless you're published by one of the really big publishers, you make more money. Especially because I'm really good at I, I will be able to create book tours myself because I just have to go along my pilgrimage routes, which I will be doing again next year anyway. I need the book to be out by September next year, because then I can tour the book as I walk I can get, boxes of the book sent to specific places along the route and do book signing things as I walk And I'm good at marketing and PR. So I could very easily just do it myself. But I do feel like it is a zeitgeist, a theme, and I am getting better at writing all the time, so I would like for it to get a book deal. I'm holding out hope for it, but if it looks like it's not happening then I will just self publish it. can always end up getting a book deal. Once it's been self published, the universe works in mysterious ways. My first book was published 10 years after I wrote it. because three people found it on the bookshelf at the same time, 10 years after I'd written it. And I'd self published it under a different title. And these people just got in touch with me and were like, Oh my God, I love your book. It's really visual. It should be a TV series. And so I sent it to a publisher just to see what would happen. the first publisher I sent it to. Picked it up from the slush pile and published it. that was really cool. Things happen. You never know what's going to happen. I've got some amazing illustrations for it from one of the pilgrims that walked with me, who's an amazing artist. So it's going to be a lovely book and I'm really proud of it. So that's going to be out next year whatever happens but I would like it to be through a book deal if possible. this winter I'm going to be writing the second book in the series which is going to be the harder one for me to write because the first one's me on my own. This one is me with 28. I think it goes up to 33 or something maybe even more than that. Other people who are pilgrims who walk with me and join me. It's a beast of a book to write this one. an emotionally full on thing. So it's going to be a lot of work, but I have an offer. because I'm not going to be doing the podcast in January, February, I want to honor what I call creation hibernation time. I have a digital detox. I come offline and, immerse myself in the present day being present Slowing down and giving myself that permission to stop, but I will be writing I have an offer of Monday nights I will be doing online zoom sessions where. We'll be working alternating. So every two weeks we'll work with the moon and in between will be silent sessions where we just sit together and write, we'll be starting with the dark moon, so the dark moon in Capricorn, on the 30th of December, we'll set our intentions and the journey we're going on, The next week we'll sit in silence and just write together the week after that will be the full moon and we'll share what we've done celebrate and we'll give ideas and feedback and thoughts and we'll, then spend two weeks like editing and considering thinking about what we've done and maybe doing research we stop with the dark moon gather ourselves again and then we begin again it's almost like waves of writing and we'll do that through january and february. If this is something you'd be interested in doing, then Patreon supporters who are in the top tier paying 9 a month are able to come for free. If you're in the lower tier for 3 a month, you'll want to upgrade maybe for a couple of months to benefit from the discount because It's five pound a session for drop him. But if you're supporting me on Patreon, which is nine pound a month, it works out as it being two pound 25 per session instead. I'm also running an immersion weekend for InBulk, which I'm really looking forward to. It's already over half full. So if it's something you're interested in doing, then you need to get in touch ASAP. The weekend is from Friday the 31st of January to the 2nd of February. we will be learning about Druid tree law and the different woods and trees. we will then be going out and foraging for wands that we will fashion decorate and activate. everyone will go home with a wand Doing folk workshops where we make Bridget crosses and straw dolls and we'll be doing ceremonies eating lovely, yummy, locally sourced food and just having such a delightful time. We go skinny dipping, immerse ourselves in the magic and splendor of this island as she comes to life and wakes up with the first snowdrops and crocuses pushing their heads through. It's glorious. I love it. And it's such a good start to the year. if you'd like to join, then please get in touch with me. through my Instagram or Facebook, which is KriyaArts, K R I Y A R T S. You can message me through Patreon. Instagram or Facebook, So do get in touch and I hope to spend some lovely time with you over the dark winter months, the podcast will be starting again at the beginning of March. Okay. Thanks. And on with the show. it's Monday night. It's back to present day Jolie, who's past Jolie to you, but not as past as the other past J. And the fire is crackling and it's the beginning of something fresh and new. It feels I feel a real sense of the beginning of the new year. Although obviously we've still got, a couple of weeks. We've had the full moon. We're releasing now to the dark moon. And then it will be the start of something new going into the new year. I feel the release. I feel like I just get to have a nice fun time for two weeks and then we'll take it from there and start something new. And I do feel like I'm in a very different place with how I'm going to approach things next year. I've already been having different interactions with people. It feels, yeah, I've flipped. In my head, what's going on, and how I feel about what's happening with the community, instead of being woe is me and feeling like a victim, I've gone, no, actually it's time for you to be more proactive, and not take things personally, and not build up a story about what's going on, you need to invite people to things. Why are you waiting for other people to invite you? it feels like such a weight to be lifted because I did feel really victim y. So that's nice. It's good. I like it when you're like, ah, and if I turn out to be wrong and people are still funny with me, then I know that I've done everything I can. it doesn't matter either way because if I know I've done everything I can, then it's just okay, I keep my circle tighter. That's fine. But, at least I know I've tried. I don't think that is what will happen. So I'm going to pull a rune now to see what the universe like to say about what's going on necessity. This rune this used to be the rune that I found hard. Like it's in a way it's the hardest one, but now I find I like it in that. It is a back to basics. So it's a bit like what I just said about making your circle tighter you can't be there with everybody, so what's necessary. You can't be there with everybody. And also for example, the next two weeks wanting to have that as downtime and time to relax. only do what's necessary, which is also the same for the creation hibernation period. So when I let myself stop for January and February, only doing what's necessary, I am putting the offer out of doing the writing and having some sort of, connection in terms of us doing writing, which I like to do because it holds me to account. And means that I'm doing the writing, but not saying yes to social things or other things like saying no to stuff generally in January and February. And switching off and unplugging from social media. I can go as far as Easter sometimes with that, and not drinking as well. What is necessary necessity? I think that. is an important thing to come back to. It feels like it's saying, draw in, don't overstretch, don't push yourself, don't overspend, don't overeat. Don't expect too much of yourself. And it's interesting because, next year is a nine year. I'm not sure if I talked about this last night. I did talk about it in the ceremony, but I'm not sure if I talked about it. with you guys, But this was an eight year and that's frenetic life force energy and nine next year is a real sort of tending to the ground before we grow things. And it does feel like it's a gentle start to the year or the whole year is going to be gentle. It's subtle. it does remind me of the rune called? Uraz? I think it is, but it's the Elk and it's the rune of, it's like a Y, capital Y, but with a line up the middle and it looks like antlers, slightly, and it's the rune of protection, but the way that it's protective is that the elk is so sensitive that it picks up on anything moving in the forest, so it knows when something's coming, so it's able to protect itself. But it also means it's incredibly present, and that, feels like, the key thing for the next year, being present sensitive and gentle, noticing, tilling, Preparing, quietly getting on with the job in hand. Not big bombastic over exertion loudness. It's more get the things together, get everything, get all your ducks in a row, get yourself sorted. And then 2026 is going to be a big year. So that's what I'm feeling. It's yeah, keeping it small and keeping it tight and keeping it. Realistic and necessary, when we enter January, we've just come out of Mercury retrograde, but loads of the other planets are retrograde, Mars being one of them. And they will be for January, February. So it would be hard work trying to push forwards aggressively anyway. It's going to be more about slowing things down, taking stock, re evaluating, checking in with things. There's a lot to explore with this. My motto is going to be for the next year to keep getting more from less. I have a favorite patch of grass, which was the reason why I moved here, this patch of grass that I called Eve. I fell in love with her when I first visited Sark, it was just stunning. It's springtime, it looked like, eggs and bacon flowers, which are these little yellow flowers with red dots in them. And they look a bit like eggs and bacon and wild carrot, which, because it was next to the shore and it's the north of the island. So that's the windiest part of the island, this northern peninsula, the plants were all very low to the ground and short. this wild carrot normally grows quite tall, It's the same family as hogweed wild parsley hemlock and alexanders. But it grows in a dome. And because it was low to the ground, it looked like little toadstools of cow parsley. the colors were all kind of pinks and yellows. And, there was just loads of daisies and just all sorts of things. bits of gorse that were yellow, just this real mix of beautiful, heather, purple heather, but it was all very low. And then bees and blue butterflies, common blues were flitting around. holly blues, they were called, were flitting around the patch of grass. And I just laid there for ages and it just looked like fairy world. It really did. It was so beautiful. It was such a stunning little spot and I fell in love with it. And when I wrote about it in Sisterhood, play and the book. when I first moved here in lockdown, I used to go nearly every day down to see her and the whole route became a ceremonial progression during the winter, I would walk down through these huge high bushes of blackthorn that have been cut, and kept cut. So this path goes through it. So they grow up really high either side of you. It's almost, it looks like something from Labyrinth. in the winter when there's no leaves and the wind blows through them, it sounds like millions of mice laughing because of the squeaking of the wood. So it just, you walk through this weird bushes. It feels like Labyrinth where all these little mice are laughing at you through the bushes. And then you come out, There's a tree that I called Gandalf that just was this very wild wizardy looking tree that's got a bench underneath it so I'll sit on the bench and I'll relax and it's almost like each layer it's like I'm getting more slower and quieter and more present as I go along so I'll sit on this bench with Gandalf and then I will walk through the blackthorn squeaking and then there's the weird sisters the virgin mother and crone in tree form And I will, sit, say hello to them. And then there's a bit where it feels like, Titanic when she's at the front of the boat. It's I'm the king of the world. There's a bit of the shoreline that just suddenly you're in the middle of this basin. It's not actually a point but it just, you're really on the edge of the world. And it just feels like I'm a king of the world moment. So I stopped there and do that. And then I walked down to the Buddhist stone which was some Buddhist monks carved a stone. and then I walk down and by the time I've done that I feel like I'm ready to approach Eve and then I'll walk down and I'll sit with Eve and I have like my own little stool like a little cozy little nook of boulder to sit and be there with her and I sit there against this boulder with my legs it's really comfy it's this perfect little dip for sitting in and I sit there and I just sit there with her and just be and then Walk back up again. And yeah, it just feels a proper procession, a sacred procession or pilgrimage, like a pilgrimage. the upercory, some people say, cause we don't know what the name means. Some people say it's the home of the pucks, which were the fairies. So it's meant to be a fairy land. There is a fairy grotto spot down there, which is an amazing little cave that looks like something from Little Mermaid is absolutely unbelievable. Has like a giant starfish in it and it's just mad. It's an amazing little grotto that you can only get to at certain tides. It's now got loads of little pygmy goats, which is really cool. They'll come and harass you. They're very funny. People are quite scared of them. I love them, personally. I think they're great. And, yeah, even before you get there, there's a three way crossroads, which is called a trivia. And that's a spot for Hecate, the triple goddess. Particularly crazy about this one is it has got a hawthorn tree at this trivia, which has a very thin little branch being hugged by another branch within a really wild, bigger branch growing off on its own. So it looks like the Virgin Mother and Crone, which is so cool. And I take people to that as part of the immersion weekend. I'll take people along to go and visit it. And we leave offerings and stuff to Hecate. Who the Hawthorn is a triple goddess tree because it has the Virgin Mother and Chrome phases within it and is the gateway to Fairyland. Yes it's really special. It's a special journey to go down there, but I don't do it very much anymore. I used to do it all the time and I feel like that's been a thing this year as I haven't been as connected to nature. this year because I didn't do the pilgrimage and so my intentions for next year of getting more from less is to, especially January and February, I'm just going to do loads of nature walking, really strip everything back, switch off from the internet and just have my creation hibernation time, being in nature, writing my book and switching off from the world. So I'm looking forward to that. And that's What I see is necessary, and it is necessary for me to be able to then tackle the year ahead, and there's quite a lot of things planned for next year, I'm not going to be going, I'm going to be doing things, even though it's not a big drive of stuff, I'm preparing things for the year after, but Yeah, there will be, I'll be doing a pilgrimage to Boomtown again, but coming from the north this time from Dragon Hill, which is outside Swindon, walking down the spine of Albion to Winchester, and then I'll be running a venue in Boomtown again, hopefully be working at Glastonbury again, that's always something I never really know until the last minute whether I'm doing, but I normally am, and then I will also be doing a pilgrimage in September, walking from Cairn Labow in Cornwall to the Norfolk coast and A walk for Gaza and for peace. Oh, that's my cat. Hello, kitty. Walking for Gaza and for peace. Walking along the Michael Line. In the direction of Israel and Jerusalem. Because St. Michael, it is St. Michael, but the Archangel Michael is the angel of peace. Jerusalem, because he's the top angel. So he's the angel of the Holy land. And so connecting him with him and sending our love and support and energy and desire for peace and goodwill and harmony through the line to the Holy lands. And yeah, to talk to people and listen to people about how they feel about world peace and the world in general and what's going on. And hopefully, you never know what ripples will come out from such things. You never know what impact you're going to have. But one thing I know for sure is I miss walking the land and I need to be back in Oregon. Can't miss her another year. I have some friends who are Sailing to Brazil for COP 30, which I would love to do, but I don't have the money to do that. It would and also it would be like a six week journey out there. And then with the winds, I guess it is, I don't know what, but anyway, the weather you'd have, you won't be able to get back again till March, April. So I can't do that as much as I would absolutely love to. So yes, that's, it feels like there is many things that are important to do next year that will be happening. And so it's doing what's necessary in the buildup to that, to have the energy and the funds and the ability to be able to go do the wonderful things. So that's what I'm working towards. And yeah, that's what that really means to me. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. So doing what's necessary. Connecting with community in a different way, flipping the script, changing the narrative. It is the time of year for community with the winter solstice. And I do believe that community is what will save us moving forward. And community is messy. And it, I'm a social butterfly. So my natural default. Was as a young teenage girl to keep moving, I'm Sagittarius rising Very like I feel like I have gypsy blood my granddad was from Ireland and he left home at 13 14 and traveled around doing work here, there, and everywhere. I lived in Scotland for a bit and then lived in England and they love to travel, my nan and grandad love to travel, but there definitely feels like there's some gypsy blood in us. And I always loved moving around and traveling and I'm a very far person. In Fooling, we talk about close, middle, and far. So you have. Close, middle and far in the outer world. So far is the universe, middle is the earth and close is your body. But then close inside is your feelings. Middle is more your background, where you're from, the things that have influenced you your family and immediate ancestors. And then far are your, Further away ancestors and your nationality and your and the collective consciousness and the soup that you're part of that joins us all up together in the back there and we all join up together in the front as well because we're all one because we're all part of the universe and so It's useful to know where you're at on that scale. Are you a close person? Do you like to be intimate with people? Do you prefer one to one conversations? Are you a middle person? Someone who likes to go out, likes to socialize, maybe doesn't feel that comfortable in close one to one situations, definitely doesn't feel comfortable public speaking. Or are you someone who feels really comfortable public speaking? I am far. I feel like I'm nearly as far as you can get, not quite, but I'm basically far. And I feel like most big pop star y, big personalities are far, like Elton John. We're meant to be observed from a distance. We're a bit loud and brash and a bit much close up. I have a weird thing with my personality and being in that I feel like I'm built for being famous and being on a big stage and being far away from people and being enjoyed in a far way. But my close relationships and closeness would have been very difficult and awkward and uncomfortable. And I probably would have had massive drug addictions and I probably would have died young. And I, there would have been, and I would have been an egotistical twat. So I've been looked after by the universe and also. I think it's because they knew, the universe knew that I was capable of it, but it pushed me into having a close experience and a small experience, which has been extremely uncomfortable to go through, but I've managed it. And. And I've benefited from it and I'm grateful for it because I don't think I'd be here now if if it had gone the way that I was sort built me getting up and doing Boomtown in front of 40, 000 people this year, I didn't even, literally didn't even think about it. I was like cuddling Inja backstage and Gina G and just hanging out and just, it was like completely naturally my world, no problem whatsoever. And then when I'm having to deal with one to one conversations with people on the island in community in these it, because basically that's not my default setting. That's not my natural setting. Community is very much about close and middle. And it's icky, it's messy, like the longer you stick around and stay in one place, the messier things get. And I had a training of this in Brighton because I was part of a friendship group when I first moved there, but I was in a very far, I was in my far, And I was flitting in and out and I went and lived in Berlin for a bit and I was living in squats and I was going to be famous and I was doing all these things and so was everybody else. And out of that friendship group, most of them left and went away and went on to do their careers and went on to do their things. Most people didn't end up doing what they set out to do, what they thought they were going to do. We all had these big dreams and ambitions and plans and none of them really turned out. There's only one or two people I'd say big successes and one of them had massive alcohol fall fall from grace. And I thought that they were a goner and they've managed to pull three, which just is because they are that kick ass and awesome that they, I'm so proud of them. And then the other one as well again, became really famous, also had massive alcohol and drug problems. And I was worried about them, but they've appeared on something recently and they've managed to do the transition from the young heartthrob into being a kind of goofy comedy man without any ego. It feels, he feels very egoless. I'm really proud of him actually. It looks like he's pulled through. I haven't spoke to him or anyone who's close to him for a little while. But it looked to me. So I think he's okay as well. So that's really good. But that's it out of, and I know loads of people. Most people do not. Achieve the things that they dream that they're going to achieve and I haven't and that's fine and you know I feel like I've benefited from it ie. I'm still alive. I Think that's great. I really I do feel like it's a privilege and I get how lucky I am The older I get and people dying and falling by the wayside. I appreciate how lucky I am and I've managed to have these beautiful relationships and learnings and lessons and I haven't been trolled and I haven't had hate mail, it's been nice actually to be able to live under the radar and be batshit and quirky and living like a famous person, but without any of the shit bit of it. Without the perk of being rich, but without the shit bit of being harangued and losing my freedom. And with the value of all the lessons that I've learned from being middle and close with people as well. So that friendship group went off and did its things. And then the next group, it morphed, that group morphed, the people who were left behind morphed into a second group and that second group were the people who stayed and actually quite a lot of them were actual Brightonians, which don't, they're very rare animals, but there was a few of them in the group that actually were locals and we stayed and they had kids and we went through miscarriages together and IVF together and deaths and suicides and fallings out and group dynamics and all the messiness of community, but in a city where we're all on the same page, so it was almost like a little gentle training ground for where I'm now at, which is I feel like I'm in the hunger games of community now, where it's like, all right, you're right in it and you're right in the thick of it and there's no off switch and you're off you go. Here's a little like wooden bow and arrow that you've made yourself and a tiny little knife and now you're off you go. And And yeah, I think this year, especially, it's been a real lesson of shed it. I've got to shed some things. I've got, I've actually got to get more, I have got to get more real in a way, like I need to be less nice, but that doesn't mean being nasty and aggressive. It just means not being a people pleaser and not being nice, but also not being scared of conflict. Two people I've had conflict with, I'm currently, literally as we speak, messaging and chatting with a messenger because things have been faced up to, I've talked about, like things have happened and because of that I'm now communicating in a more honest way and we're actually communicating and I've realized how I've been perceived and that was different to what I thought was and that some of it's my responsibility too and that So I need to shift how I'm being and that's great. I love that. I love realizing that I'm doing something wrong because if it's just other people doing something wrong and it's all happening at you, you're there's nothing you can do, is there? You can't do anything about that situation. You just got to accept it. But when you realize that actually it's not completely the way you're seeing it. And actually there's something you could do about it. Brilliant. Brilliant. Okay. I'm going to do something about it. And it seems to have already worked. Like already it's shifting. We're just chatting, like you do with any old mate. And that's great. I'm really happy because I want to be mates. And I'm not. Yeah, I'm chuffed. I'm really chuffed. So this is, new year is beginning and already things feel different and it feels like things are cracking and opening up and changing. So where and how can you connect with your community? So my chaos crusade. It's over Christmas, do something you wouldn't normally do for someone, buy a present. There's a family here that don't celebrate Christmas because they don't have any money and I want to send them a care package and that's what I'm going to do. Just who, think of people, situations, Just a Christmas card even, or offer of a drink, something, just something where you're offering something out to someone that you know is forgotten about or doesn't have much connection or whatever, or you haven't, you had a falling out with and it was time to make the peace or just to do something for someone by, this was from the blind boy podcast, which I thought was great was buying hats and gloves for a homeless person rather than giving them money because they won't ever necessarily spend that money on hats and gloves because if you're addicted. You're not going to do that, but if you buy someone hats and gloves, they're going to be extremely bloody grateful because that's not what they're going to end up doing. But they're going to be very happy to have hats and gloves. So things like that, buying something for someone. Yeah, I'm going to get a care package and send it to this family just because I'm aware that they don't have any money and they don't celebrate Christmas because of that. And that makes me sad. I want to send them something. So just think along those lines and really think about community around you and what that is. And I've been having some really good chats with my best friend Saffron, shout out to Saffron, bloody love you. And we've been talking about community and she's, she was talking about her group being tight and her having a tight group of people and making that space and time for those people. And yeah, it is, it's, Oh, and actually, I'm going to interview her, by the way, Saffron, I'm going to interview you because I want to interview her about community, because she started working for a company that's about developing community, so I'd like to get her advice and thoughts on it, but she taught me to like she was probably the first step in me changing first of all, my attitudes to people because I had an opinion of her that was extremely negative when I first met her and then she totally surprised me and she surprised me so much that I thought I want to be friends with this person for the rest of my life and then have been and she's been my best mate ever since and I was like, I need this woman in my life, but she also taught me to like women. As I was 100 percent a tomboy and I didn't like women and she said to me, you have to support women. You have to always have women's backs and look after them and be there for them because the world is set against them and we're tricked into being each other's jailers and torturers. And actually we need, a bit like the, in the, Jewish concentration camps. It was Jewish people running the concentration camps. It's like the women are groomed to be the finger pointers in the witch hunt and the ones that are outing people. And we need to not do that. We need to support each other. And That completely blew my mind when she said that to me and changed forever how I feel about women. And that really opened up my community. And she once gave me the task of getting more female friends because I suddenly, at some point when I moved to London in 2008, I just had a moment where I found that I didn't really have any female friends again. And she said your mission is to go and find some female friends. So she's really good at She's always been really good at close, really good at close. And so I've learned a lot from her over the years with that. And we've been talking about that recently and her having her close relationships that she has. And it's just important to nurture, but I am looking at community more as well. Cause there's only so much you It is difficult. There are loads of people I love and I care about, and I'm part of lots of different communities and I have a lot of people in my life that I want to spend time with. Okay. just I can also be thoughtless and the thoughtlessness tends to come from being too busy. So that's what I'd to put in place for next year. And it's my intention for next year is to not be too busy. That I'm thoughtless and to be thoughtful about the people in my life and especially the community that I'm in, but also all the people that I love and I know in the world in general. So that's my intention for the year and it's going to begin with me doing something lovely for someone for Christmas. So I'm going to go stoke that fire. Get all cozy and enjoy the rest of my evening, having a nice little relax and start this beautiful two week fun time and then creation hibernation. Okay, thank you. Lots of love to all of you. Happy solstice I shall see anon. Yeah. Cheers! Have a great day. Cheers! I don't know.